How To Always Be Positive

Wouldn’t it be amazing if everyone could be more positive all the time?

Well, it’s not THAT hard to be positive, it’s all a matter of perspective.

Unfortunately, most people are never taught that.

If you just go by the default programs of the human mind, positivity is definitely not your brain’s priority.

Why?

Because being positive isn’t helpful to your survival. It does not necessarily increase your odds of survival.

And survival is literally the only goal the human body has had as it evolved throughout the millions of years we’ve existed.

So, since negativity is a much more reliable source of survival, that’s what your brain naturally prioritizes.

However, this doesn’t mean you have no control over it.

Something that I always think to myself is “You may not be able to control your first thought, but you can always control your second”.

This mantra is the key to being more positive.

You need to start being more aware of your thoughts. You need to be able to consciously jump in and stop yourself once negative thoughts pop up in your mind.

Meditation can help a lot with this.

Meditation is basically like going to the gym for your mind. So, just working out your mind will help you to be more self-aware throughout your day. But at the end of the day, it’s all about paying more attention to your thoughts.

Once you identify a negative thought, you should ALWAYS follow it with a positive one.

“Oh, I look ugly today.” — > “Silly me, never mind. I’m sure I look great I’m just being too harsh on myself.”

“Damn, why am I always such a screw-up?” — > “Oops, no. That’s not right, no I’m not. I just need to pay more attention in the future and I’ll change this pattern. I’m sure I can do it!”

“I’m SO lazy!” —> “Wait… no. I am not lazy, I’m just?feeling?lazy. I’ll go take a quick 15-minute walk outside to recharge my batteries and I’ll come back energized again.”

What pattern do you notice here?

What I notice is that this is just the same as if a close friend of yours told you “Oh I look ugly today”, and then you’d probably say something along the lines of “No you don’t, what are you talking about? You look great. Stop being so harsh on yourself.”

So, in the end, all I’m saying you should consider doing is treating yourself like your own best friend. True best friends don’t let their best friends trash-talk themselves.

And you shouldn’t let yourself do that either.

Start being there for yourself.

And start being more grateful too.

If you feel super entitled to everything, you’ll never be happy because you’re entitled to what you have. You take it for granted.

But if you can be grateful for even the smallest things like the sun rising every day, then it will be much easier for you to be happy.

You’re not going to live forever, so every day you’re blessed with should be a reason for celebration.

The truth is, we’re not entitled to anything at all. ZERO. But since we live in such a comfortable and safe society, we assume we’re entitled to it. But we’re not.

If you were to meet a lion, his stare alone would make you realize you’re not entitled to ANYTHING. Because that lion could take your life in a second if he felt like it.

So, if you want to practice being more grateful, you can try it throughout your day by just noticing small details.

Maybe you drink coffee every day and you enjoy it a lot. If so, as you drink it, notice what you’re experiencing — be mindful. “Damn, this taste SO delicious. And the sun is hitting me right in the face along with this light breeze… This moment is PERFECT.”

You have a lot of great moments in your day, you just need to start paying more attention so you can notice them.

The other option you have is to start a new daily habit: every day, either in the morning or at night, write down 3 things you were grateful for (from the previous day or on that day).

Do this often, and you’ll soon notice that your energy is more positive and you feel more grateful about life in general.

It’s all just about noticing the fact you?should?be grateful!

But what did I mean earlier when I said it was all just a matter of perspective?

Well, so far what I talked about was how to be positive with yourself and your insecurities.

But what about how to be positive even when terrible things happen to you?

It’s all about shifting your perspective.

What do I mean by a shift in your perspective?

I mean it would probably be smarter to start to see what happens to you from a broader perspective. A macro perspective.

And the other important thing to do is to not assume you know more than you do.

For example, it’s easy to get a flat tire and tell the world you’re the most unlucky person that has ever existed.

But how do you know that? How do you even know it was an unlucky moment?

What if you would’ve gotten in a fatal car accident 10 minutes later if you hadn’t had a flat tire?

What if you had never changed a flat tire before, and this was an opportunity to learn how to do it because 2 years later that knowledge will come in handy in a trickier situation?

Maybe a stranger will stop by to help you and they’ll end up being your friend.

The point is, who knows? You’re not omniscient.

THIS is what being positive looks like.

It’s being able to see the potential good that can come out of seemingly bad things that happened.

But if you’re reading this with a skeptical look on your face, please try this exercise:

Look back on your life and think of EVERYTHING you’ve ever thought (in the moment) was a terrible thing that happened to you.

How many of those things were really terrible?

Sometimes people become devastated because they didn’t get into a certain college. But then, you fast forward 10 years and they have the life they’ve always dreamed of. Maybe they met the love of their lives in that college they never wanted to go to.

How about breakups? How many times were you DESTROYED after a breakup? I’m sure that now for most of those, you can look back and think “Oh wow. We were definitely not meant for each other. I’m blessed that ended when it did. Maybe it should even have ended earlier!”

One example I always love to use is the fact that Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player ever, was cut from his high school team. It’s easy to smile as you learn about this now, but how do you think he felt in that moment? He probably felt like he wasn’t good enough. He probably took it hard. But looking back, it’s easy to say it was a great thing because it helped give him the hunger to work harder than anybody else — which is exactly what made him the greatest ever.

The point is we are WAY too quick to judge if something that has happened to us is good or bad.

The truth is, in the moment, you just don’t know.

You can’t predict the future.

So, instead of acting like you can, stop assuming you know exactly whether something that happened to you is good or bad.

Even truly bad things can end up being good just because they make you grow.

THIS is what I mean when I say that being positive is all about perspective.

You may have heard the popular Tony Robbins quote “Life doesn’t happen?to?you, it happens?for?you.”

This is basically what he means. Instead of seeing yourself as the victim of all circumstances, ask yourself what benefit this seemingly bad thing could bring you.

And if you can’t come up with any, then it will probably only bring you personal growth.

Even mistakes you’ve made in the past may have been terrible mistakes, but I’m positive they made you grow and learn something somehow.

With this in mind, this is how I personally deal with bad things:

When something seemingly bad happens to me, the first thing I do is consider how this could end up benefiting me in a future I’m not able to see right now.

This can really calm me down and change my mental state. It can help me process what happened and think of a way to make a bad thing that happened to me into an opportunity.

Yes, because that’s the other benefit of being positive. If you’re negative, you’ll just cry and feel powerless about what happens to you. You’ll just be a victim. (If you’d like to read more about the victim mentality, just click here to check out my article about it)

But if you’re positive, you’ll be able to realize you probably still have something you can do about this new “problem”. And the first step to solving any problem is to focus on figuring out a solution for it.

If you can make the problem into a solution, even better! Genius I’d say.

So start practicing this new way to look at the world and at your reality every single day.

Make a true lifestyle change by making a true mindset change today!

Never stop hustling & never stop dreaming,

- Dez

P.S. I’m a Success Mindset Coach and I’d be happy to help you work on becoming more positive if you think you could use some help! You can check out my official website?https://kaidezen.com/?for more information