How To Advocate For Yourself Without Bragging

"I don't want to come across as a brag, or worse, sound like a sleazy self promoter."

Oof. I feel you.

A client of mine is at a career crossroads. While loyal to their organization, the consensus is that their current role will be winding down and a new opportunity will be presenting itself. My client was excited about this new opportunity, but felt like they were in a holding pattern, waiting for others to take action to make the change official.

I asked, what conversations have you initiated to remind them you are a good choice for this opportunity and move it forward?

My client admitted, "Yes, I need to say something, but I just feel like that's bragging.. and I don't want to be known as a bragger. It feels gross."

I get it. Many times when we think about speaking up and advocating for our talents or skills, the image that can come to mind is a desperate salesperson, trying to sell you with an information blizzard of all the reasons why they, or their product, is the best thing on earth. It feels overwhelming and icky.

At the same time, it's important to learn to advocate for yourself if you want to advance in your career. I remember a time when I left corporate and started my own business, I was initially scared to tell people. I thought maybe my not-yet-perfect website would be overloaded with traffic and I’d be unable to handle it.

If you’ve ever tried to launch something, you learn like I did that the opposite is often true. The world is noisy. People are busy. No one is paying attention to you as much as you think. I learned that my real problem wasn’t exposure, it was obscurity.

This is the same whether we are being clear about expressing our personal goals or communicating clearly with our teams at work. People are distracted. Inboxes are full. When we aren’t clear on our goals and desires, or we don’t express them, people are left to guess. Worse, they never hear about the business or project we’re working on. When they don’t know, they can’t help, act, or choose you.

So, how do you cut through the noise and advocate for yourself and avoid the "I feel like such a bragger!" feelings? Here are some tips to boost your peace, your potential and ultimately your paycheck and advance at work.

Boost your peace

First, have some compassion for yourself. (This is an underrated way to boost your confidence, by the way.) It is normal to want to avoid feeling like a brag! The simple fact that you are concerned about this is likely enough proof to mean you aren't a bragger. Of course you are worried about repelling people because you care about your relationships and your standing with others. It's normal to feel nervous to advocate for yourself because you care about others' perception of you.

This is what self-compassion sounds like. Much better than self criticism, don't you think? (You can't criticize yourself into more confidence.)

Boost your potential

A unique strategy my client and I came up with to promote their skills for this new opportunity was to pose it as an idea that would benefit the business and the team and clients involved. This might sound like, "I've been working alongside this team for several years and have an idea I'd like to share that may help bring in more revenue. Are you open to hearing it?"

By asking for permission to share, people are more likely to agree to and listen to what you have to say. You can proceed with your idea and frame it in the parameters of what companies care about: Money, reducing risk and leading change. For example:

• This idea could improve revenue by...
• This idea will reduce expenses by...
• This idea will reduce our exposure/compliance risk by...
• This idea will help us lead change and innovation by...

Boost your paycheck

After presenting your idea and gaining buy in, this creates an opportunity to present yourself as the solution to implementing it. This can be as simple as "I would love to take on implementing this idea, as I believe I have the skills to see it through successfully and help our business grow."

Advocating for yourself by promoting a beneficial idea to the business first, and then offering to assist in implementing the solution, you put the needs and goals of the business first.

Try this next: What is a challenge or opportunity in the business you can't unsee or stop thinking about? How could YOU be the unique choice to solve this problem? What specific skills, talents or achievements position you perfectly for this opportunity? Make a list and make your case.

How have you learned to advocate for yourself without feeling like a brag? Share your tips below.

Kelli Thompson is a leadership & executive coach, award-winning speaker and author of Closing The Confidence Gap. She is on a mission to help women advance to the rooms where decisions are made. She offers executive coaching, leadership workshops and keynote speaking to transform leaders from high achievers to influential leaders by leading with more clarity and confidence.