How To Advocate For Yourself In A Way You Won't Regret

I had an impromptu call with a client because she felt stuck in an all too common "take this promotion without the title and pay" situation. A few weeks prior, she learned that her peer would be leaving. Instead of replacing him, they offered her the ability to take over his entire organization, in addition to her own. Because she has C-level ambitions, she was excited about this opportunity and experience to build the skills necessary for her career path.

She prepared to advocate for herself with a talk with her boss about adjusting her compensation to reflect her additional work - her decision making authority and her team would double with the addition of taking on three new departments.

I have seen this situation occur more than I care to admit, and according to the 2022 Women In The Workplace study by McKinsey and Lean In, women left organizations in record numbers because they are tired of doing extra work without compensation.

We talked through her options on the phone, but what we landed on was this: The situation may not be ideal, but you always have agency on what you choose next.

1. She can accept the role and gain the experience and continue to advocate for a fair market compensation adjustment.
2. She can accept the role and gain the experience while also adding it to her resume to aid in her job search.

She can continue know her worth and make her asks because she is clear on what she stands for as a leader.

To speak up on what matters to you in a way you won't regret, there is no one "right way" to advocate for yourself. Instead, it's more important to speak up in alignment with your values and what you stand for, so even if the conversation doesn't go your way, you can look back on it with satisfaction. Try my advocacy model framework to help you make those hard asks in the moments you need to advocate for yourself.

Start with Authenticity: What do you know for sure about you? What unique skills and talents can only you offer this role or situation? What are the facts?

Speak with Alignment: What do you value here? How do you want to make the other person feel? (List 3 adjectives/values). What three words describe the energy you want to bring to this conversation?

Take Right Action: Based on what you know for sure and what you value, what is yours to say (or not say)? What asks must be made?

While my client didn't get the answer she hoped for, she realized two things:

1. She got clarity on values alignment - what she values vs what the organization values in terms of pay and promotion philosophy.
2. Because she used the advocacy model to make her ask, she has no regrets. She spoke up for herself, in a way that honored values, and for what was hers to say.

Remember, when you speak up, you inspire others to do the same. Even when the answer is no, a “no” can give you clarity on your right next steps.

Kelli Thompson is a leadership & executive coach, award-winning speaker and author who is on a mission to help women advance to the rooms where decisions are made. She offers executive coaching, leadership workshops and keynote speaking to lead with more clarity and confidence.