How to Advocate for a Point-of-View With Empathy and Intention

Have you ever felt pulled in different directions? The impulse arises to understand a situation, formulate an opinion, then speak out, take action, make your voice heard. Yet you hesitate. The stakes feel high, tensions fraught. You worry any misstep could divide or do harm, but also want to support what you believe is right.

What does it mean to advocate for, or put effort behind, your beliefs without dehumanizing those with whom you disagree? How do you stand up for what you feel is right while honoring nuance, complexity and humanity, including your own??

These are the questions we all grapple with today. There are no easy answers. Our current cultural climate seems to pit people against each other, amplifying and rewarding polarization and dehumanization. Communication platforms and social media annihilate the capacity for depth, nuance, and discourse, leaving no room for reflection, growth, or true engagement, valuing speed side-picking over studied thinking, constructive conversation and intentional choice. Reactionary words often entrench divisions further. And algorithms that promote rage over reasoning feed the beast.

This is not a new phenomenon, it's been happening for years, decades even, but it’s gotten so much worse.

So how do we navigate these difficult moments with care and intention? How do we avoid doing harm in our effort to do good? What does thoughtful, principled action look like when unity feels impossible? In our personal lives, our relationships, our communities and places of work?

There are no perfect answers. In a recent conversation on the SPARKED podcast with multi-faceted coach and Braintrust Advisor, Yvonne Ator MD MPH , we explored moving through polarizing moments with intention, finding your voice amidst division, and advocating your truth while working to see the humanity in those you disagree with.

Here are 5 key ideas to help cut through the noise with care when tensions run high:

1. Slow Down and Listen Before Reacting

The pressure to speak out publicly in divisive times can pull us toward instant, reactionary behavior. Responding thoughtfully, from a deep, rather than shallow, well of wisdom often requires slowing down, listening deeply, investing in learning, and determining the course that feels most aligned with our values, realizations, and beliefs.

Imagine you’re out to dinner with friends when the conversation turns to a heated political issue. Tempers flare, divisions emerge. One friend urges you to declare your stance publicly right then and there. Your heart races, palms sweat. What do you do?

Press pause. Maybe excuse yourself from the table, take a walk outside. Breathe deep, gather your thoughts. Ask yourself – what action aligns with my principles? Am I informed enough to speak not from uninformed pressure, but from wisened insight? There’s no shame in saying “I need time to reflect on this.” It’s one thing to arrive at a point-of-view through intentional action, it’s another to feel forced into one. Just because something is “blatantly obvious” to one person, doesn’t mean it need be for you.

This doesn’t mean you don’t do the work to come to a place where you feel ready to act in whatever way is your way, it just means you do it from a more grounded and informed place.

1. Maintain Nuance and Empathy

Maintaining nuance and empathy, acknowledging and centering the humanity of those we disagree with is crucial, but also sometimes brutally hard.

Perhaps your social media feed, WhatsApp, or slack-channel fills with friends, colleagues or even strangers not just speaking to an issue or circumstance, but rather dehumanizing those on the other side of that issue. It may feel momentarily satisfying to add your voice to the chorus in the moment. But ultimately this erodes not just trust, but dignity and humanity, and any chance, however small of understanding, redemption, or resolution.

Separating the happening from the human is not easy. Especially when the harm at the center of the circumstance is so visceral and current, we just can’t get there. There is an instruction in the Buddhist Metta or “lovingkindness” meditation, where you bring someone to mind with whom you struggle where there’s suffering of angst between you, and wish them well. It’s the toughest part of the practice. And, I’ve heard legendary teacher, Sharon Salzberg say, when coming to this moment, that if it’s just too hard to do that, then swap yourself back into the wish for wellness, happiness and health. Because, in that moment, it’s you who is most in need of care.?

Which brings us to…

1. Don't Lose Your Own Humanity

We must be vigilant not to lose our own humanity when speaking out. Demeaning the "other side" often means unwittingly, on some level, dehumanizing ourselves.?

Before posting ask yourself – is this advancing thoughtful discourse? Do I know enough to deeply believe and defend what I’m saying, or does it just make me feel heard, or give me credit for having chimed in? Would I say the same thing while standing in front of a person we see as “other,” with a child’s hand in theirs??

This is not about ignoring or diminishing harm. It must be acknowledged and addressed. There’s power in calling out injustice, but how we do it, and to what end, matters. Not just to preserve their humanity, but to secure our own.

1. Understand Complexity Before Picking Sides

Rushing to pick a side publicly without understanding the full complexity of issues can backfire. Get informed from multiple sources. Put in the work to move past bias and understand where you authentically stand.

Perhaps a controversial new law emerges, or a policy at work. Your peers demand you denounce it at the all hands meeting, or online immediately. Yet you feel uninformed about the nuances and trade-offs involved, the history and facts that led to it.

Resist pressure to “pick a side” before doing your homework. Read widely – news, analysis, critiques, defenses. Look outside your usual info-bubble for different points-of-view or factual reporting or evaluation. Ask questions, and question perceived authority. Discuss with those who disagree with you. Strive to grasp the issue’s complexity before forming your perspective. An uninformed stance helps no one.

1. Ground Yourself in Self-Care

Ground yourself through self-care practices when speaking out. Cynicism, polarization, argument, or stress can overwhelm the systems that not only keep us intentional, but also well.?

Do you feel depleted and on edge about the state of the world or work or a relationship or life? Are you turning cynical, losing hope that you can bridge divides? Are you countering intense disagreement? Are you struggling with circumstances no one else knows about, but that are leaving you profoundly under-resourced, physically or emotionally unwell on even the best of days??

No one, but you, know the burden you’re carrying beyond the weight of whatever the immediate conflict is. You don’t have to share it to justify your choices, but do acknowledge it to yourself, own it’s impact, and know that it will affect how, when and why you step into the moment, and what you need to do to take care of yourself along the way.

Navigating moments of disagreement or profound conflict won't be easy. But by slowing down, grounding ourselves, and acting from intentionally-sought wisdom and values, we can speak out, say what needs to be said, and do what needs to be done, with intention and care. My hope is these reflections provide a starting point to move forward together, even amidst uncertainty.?

Listen to my full conversation with Yvonne Ator MD MPH on SPARKED to dig deeper on navigating polarizing times with intention, finding your voice thoughtfully, understanding issues in their full complexity, and exploring how we can stand up for our beliefs while honoring shared humanity. #empathy #wisdom #personalgrowth

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