How to advocate and care for yourself as a nurse when you’re the patient

Nurses spend a large portion of their shifts advocating for patients. We are often the strongest and loudest voices when speaking up regarding patient needs. We see and anticipate the tiniest details that require attention and pick up on all the obvious and hidden concerns of our patients and their families.

We see and feel the patient's worry as they interact with their care team, comprehending with an almost sixth sense all of what is said and not said. The nurse often has tough conversations, later discussing issues with the appropriate care provider. We are the ones who see and feel it all– the good, bad, ugly, and indifferent. When advocating and caring for our patients, there is no stone left unturned.

But at some point in your life you, the nurse, will be the patient.

You've been handed a difficult diagnosis. You hear the phrase “treatment options” being discussed. You don't feel well and know you’ve let it go far past what would have been acceptable for a family member, friend, or patient. You are near tears of frustration hitting phone prompts to get to who you need to speak with.

You find yourself pouring over literature you know probably isn’t reputable while scouring the internet, searching for any and all info regarding your diagnosis. You are hitting the refresh button on your patient portal, trying to view test results that are crucial pieces of your treatment plan. You feel the intense need to fix things yourself, as you do for others. You are scared, frustrated, nervous, anxious, unprepared, and feel helpless.

All those experiences and issues we discuss with our patients to assist them in maneuvering their illnesses are yours now.

PULL QUOTE: The care nurses so meticulously deliver to others seems challenging to apply to ourselves.

I have been in this position more times than I care to admit. The care nurses so meticulously deliver to others seems challenging to apply to ourselves. The profound need and ability to care for others often fall short when we are patient. Not only is it harmful to ourselves, but it also impacts the care we provide others. This must stop

Make your health a priority

When we fail to recognize our needs, and ways to practice self-care, or health declines, we reduce our ability to care for others. It’s okay to put yourself and your needs first. It’s imperative to set healthy boundaries that often feel selfish among those in healthcare that are extremely selfless caregivers. Prioritizing your health is an integral component of caring for others and, more importantly, advocating for your health and well-being.

Ask questions and trust your care provider

Often providers think nurses know everything, or it is implied, leading to critical information being left out. Assumptions are sometimes made that the nurse-patient is already knowledgeable about their condition, diagnosis, or treatment options. In many scenarios, this is not the case, and being the nurse caring for a particular illness is much different than finding yourself as the patient.

Think about questions and concerns you may have. Write them down and take them to your appointment or contact your provider. Be sure you fully grasp what's going on. Understanding that your mindset and self-awareness are different when you are the patient can be challenging to recognize and come to terms with.

We so easily advocate for our patients, yet often, when we are ill, we are the only advocate for ourselves which can be complicated. Sometimes it can be necessary for others to advocate for us.

We spend much of our careers double-checking our work and the work of others to be sure our patients' care is optimal, and all safe practice standards are met. We often have difficulty giving up certain aspects of control of our care in ways that can be detrimental to our health. Nurses seem to think we are fixers of all, including ourselves.

This leads to a breakdown in self-care and making our health a priority as we feel determined and pressured to figure things out on our own. It’s okay to question your provider and the care you are receiving. However, trusting relationships are crucial, and we must apply that concept to the care we receive. Allow others to care for you the same way you care for others

Speak and treat yourself like you would your patient

We are critical and demanding of ourselves, which is often exemplified when we are ill. We easily extend grace to our patients, family, and friends when they are sick, yet we expect ourselves to be invincible and continue despite all. It is also incredibly challenging for nurses who are exceptional multitaskers to slow down.

We are do-it-yourselfers to the point of rarely asking for or accepting help. When in a personal health crisis, think of what you would say to a patient, family member, or friend. Follow through with your advice and treat yourself with the same kindness, patience, and understanding you so freely give others.

Advocating and caring for yourself when you are the patient are displays of self-love and self-perseverance that should never produce feelings of guilt or shame. Nurses embody healthcare, and we must lead by applying these attributes to ourselves.? When we care for ourselves by prioritizing our health and well-being, we place ourselves in an optimal position to care for and advocate for others.

PULL QUOTE: Receiving support from others and caring for yourself are acts of strength and courage that should never be sidestepped or undervalued.

I recently found myself in the throes of a significant health crisis followed by a lengthy recovery after surgery, forcing me to rely on others for basic things. Both of these situations prompted me to take a critical look at myself and all the ways I have failed myself as a nurse in many circumstances. I eventually found myself painstakingly accepting help, slowing down, and trusting my care team.

These challenging experiences prompted me to discuss all the strategies mentioned in this article. Receiving support from others and caring for yourself are acts of strength and courage that should never be sidestepped or undervalued. I am grateful I maneuvered through these uncertain times. These experiences will enable me to be an even stronger advocate for my patients and provide a deeper understanding and sense of empathy.

Carolyn Harmon , BSN, RN, a Nurse Columnist with NurseDeck. She has over 24 years of nursing experience. She is currently a Perioperative Optimization Clinic staff and charge nurse. She also has 14 years of knowledge acquired from her role as an adult and pediatric ER and trauma nurse. Carolyn is passionate about mentoring and supporting nurses in all stages of their careers, as well as healthy work environments. She is also a freelance writer that seeks to move others through thoughtful, meaningful discussions that amplify the voices of nurses.

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