How Active Listening Can Make You a Great Communicator

Over the last several months, I am sure we have all been on more video chats than we can count. Conversations have shifted as many have begun working from home. During this time, I’ve noticed communication become more focused on intentional, scheduled discussions. But, regardless of what medium we use to communicate, I have found that active listening remains essential to successful, effective communication.

Effective communication is important inside and outside of the workplace. As one of life’s most important skills, communication gives us the ability to express our thoughts, our goals, our needs, our concerns, and much more. So, what are the keys to communication? First off, it does not mean the communicator is always doing the talking. Effective communicators listen well and listen intently. So many of us make the mistake of believing that being a good communicator only means that a person can articulate their thoughts and speak well. But, actively listening is just as, if not more, important when engaging with others. In fact, most people usually only remember about 17 to 25% of the things they listen to. This makes it incredibly important that we practice being active listeners in all of our interactions.

For the longest time in my career, I was so focused on what I was going to say next during conversations, that I did not always consider what the person was telling me. By nature, we usually go into conversations with our own thoughts in mind. In doing so, we may miss out on some important moments in the discussion. It is not always about our thoughts. We should allow ourselves to hear different perspectives and truly take in what the person is trying to convey. When we actively listen, we start to realize that what this person is saying, might be different than what we initially assumed, and our response should change accordingly.

With that being said, I wanted to share three things that I have implemented when engaging in conversation:

1.    Power of the Pause - Listen first and do not interrupt the other person.

2.    Strong Eye Contact and Body Language - Pay attention to nonverbal cues.

3.    Determine the Overarching Message- Ask questions and circle back to points made earlier in the conversation.

Power of the Pause

It’s tempting to want to focus on your next response while engaging in conversation, but you can’t deliver the perfect response if you’re not truly listening to what the person next to you is saying. Listen first and do not interrupt. A person needs to make sure that they’re not just hearing, but they’re truly listening. Before I give a response in a conversation, I take a pause, make sure that my coworker has finished their complete thought, and then respond accordingly. Refraining from interrupting can also help to develop a good rapport with co-workers, direct reports, or supervisors.

Strong Eye Contact and Body Language

Did you know that over 90% of communication is conveyed through facial expression and tone of voice? Focusing intently on what someone is saying and paying close attention to nonverbal cues allows me the opportunity to be fully present, empathize with how the person is feeling, and engage accordingly. Being an active listener includes zeroing in on body language, gestures, or any other cues that may help develop the most accurate understanding of what a person is trying to communicate.

Determine the Overarching Message

In all your conversations, make it a goal to engage while listening. I have made it a point to focus on asking questions to gain a better understanding of the topic at hand during my conversations, making the effort to show that I’m engaged in what the person is saying. I have also found that when I restate the overarching theme or message in the conversation as the discussion ends, it helps to bring about a mutual understanding.

In an article titled, “If you want to be better at communicating, work on your active listening skills…” the author notes that, “Active listening is just like any other skill in that it takes practice to get it right.” It can be difficult in this fast-paced, virtual world we live in, but my challenge to you is to stop and genuinely listen the next time you’re having a conversation and see what happens when you do.

What are your best tips for active listening and effective communication?