How to 10x Your Networking Skills

By Dorie Clark

Over the years, I’ve discovered something powerful: as you grow your network, it becomes easier to help others. Maybe your acquaintance just lost his job, and you know a CEO looking to build out her team. Maybe your client needs a new website, and you know a design firm that would be perfect. You’re helping everyone by bringing them together with the people they need to meet.

As I share in my e-book Stand Out Networking and in my LinkedIn Learning Professional Networking course, becoming a connector is a force multiplier: your ability to help others is dramatically magnified. Here are some of the best ways to get started.

Focus on How You Can Help. As you begin your acquaintance with someone, look for opportunities to help him or her. Think through what assistance you’d most appreciate if you were in his situation. Maybe it’s introductions to potential clients or members of the media. Maybe it’s leads on office space, or preorders of a book. Perhaps it’s insights into industry trends, or an invitation to a coveted event.

You can certainly ask them what kind of help they’d like to receive, and you may even get a useful response, but note that if the person doesn’t know enough about you yet, the question itself can sometimes be burdensome. That’s because it becomes a kind of research project: who is this person and what could they possibly do for me? Forcing that level of work on someone defeats your purpose, which is to be helpful—so ask judiciously, once the person has a better sense of who you are.

Make Useful Introductions. Author and speaker Judy Robinett suggests looking for mutually beneficial introductions you can make. “Try doing this once a week and watch the magic begin,” she says. This isn’t just hastily linking up two people for the sake of looking like a player. We’ve probably all received (and been annoyed by) e-introductions made without our knowledge or permission, which don’t take the time to explain why we should be talking to the other person or why it’s beneficial. In that case, the information giver is causing a nuisance for you, not doing you a favor.

The key to making great introductions, says Keith Ferrazzi, author of Never Eat Alone, is “it has to be in service of both [people]. . . . I would never introduce two people if I didn’t think both would feel truly grateful for it.” Think carefully to ensure the benefit is mutual, and consider asking both sides if it’s OK before doing the introduction. (The blogger James Altucher calls this concept “permission networking.”)

Create Events. The connections don’t necessarily have to be one-on-one, either. In Stand Out Networking, I write about a gathering called ConnectorCon, which bills itself as a “conference for thought leaders, innovators, educators, and catalysts who are interested in connecting and relationship building.” Started in 2012 by Michael Roderick, the daylong conference is a candyland for current and aspiring connectors, because it brings together a group that is, by definition, very keen to meet other like-minded people. In assembling this group, largely drawn from Roderick’s own extensive network, he’s doing a favor en masse and simultaneously cementing his reputation as someone who knows everyone.

So what does it look like to be a bona fide connector? “A power connector is someone who can make things happen quickly for themselves and others,” says Robinett. “They are often the go-to person. Their network is rich and robust with critical resources—money, information, connections, opportunities—that, when accessed, can help others achieve their personal and professional dreams.” When it comes to networking, leverage is critical. Becoming a connector allows you to meet more people, and introduce them to others who can be helpful and maybe even change their lives.

Dorie Clark is a keynote speaker, marketing strategist, and executive coach who teaches at Duke University’s Fuqua School of Business. She is the author of Reinventing You, Entrepreneurial You, and Stand Out, which was named the #1 Leadership Book of the year by Inc. magazine. Download her free Stand Out self-assessment at dorieclark.com/join.