The Hourglass

Measuring the passage of time

They are fascinating objects, aren’t they?? This simple sealed glass container filled with grains of sand that flow from a top bulb to a bottom bulb through a narrow neck was created in the Late Middle Ages to measure the passage of time.? I think it is analogous to our human existence.? Just as the sand in each hourglass is finite, so too are our days on this earth numbered.? Unlike the hourglass, where both top and bottom bulbs are visible, we can “see” the grains in the bottom bulb of our lives as memories of days gone by but have no idea how many grains of life remain in the top.? Just as nature (gravity) ensures that the grains in the hourglass will continue to flow until the top is empty, the inexorable passage of time guarantees that our grains of life are finite and will flow out until all our days have been lived.

Bench-marking mortality

The most important question that I ask myself and all my mentees is how we define wealth because once we answer that question candidly and honestly, it provides a valuable framework for making all remaining life decisions, large and small, personal and professional.? This is a milestone year for me.? I just celebrated my 72nd birthday, this year is the 50th anniversary of my marriage to Paula, and it is my West Point class’s 50th reunion.? As the grains of my life have passed and given me incomparable blessings, I have also become acutely aware of my own mortality, not in a morbid way, but in a reflective and pragmatic way.? As we age, we experience the joys of new experiences and new lives with family and friends, as well as the loss of those we love.? The passing of parents can be a particularly challenging milestone as it changes virtually everything about our past lives.? It is a sobering experience that no one can prepare you for, and it is an irreversible benchmark to your own mortality.? While no one can predict their passing, the passing of parents often starts the countdown timer as we reflect on their lives as well as our own and wonder how much time we have left to pursue our life goals.?

Becoming better at what you do

That reflection lies at the heart of the wealth question.? When we are young, we think we can live forever, and we live our lives chasing wealth that is usually more material, and hence, less enduring than the wealth we desire in later life.? The purpose of DissedMedia is to make us all better at what we do.? My belief is that we get better at what we do when we figure out who we are and why we do what we do.? If you could see the top bulb of your life’s hourglass, would you change what you do and how you spend the grains of life you are given?? Would you define wealth differently?? Would you live a more intentional, purposeful life?? Would you give more and take less?? Above all, what would you leave behind in the wake of your passing to create a legacy that really matters, something that defines your existence on this earth marked by the impacts you have made in the lives of others?

T-I-M-E is love

As you search for this thing we usually call Work-Life Balance, your answers to the questions above can help you find a more meaningful balance.? Words matter, and by reversing the order to Life-Work Balance, you will put the focus on the correct priority of life over work as it should be.? Years ago, someone told me that children spell love as “T-I-M-E.”? As I reflect on my own years of continuously working late and rationalizing it at the expense of spending time at home, I wish I had understood that more fully.?? How we spend our time reflects our priorities, misplaced or not, and that reflects how we define wealth.? When we pass, our job evaporates. Not so with our lives that endure in the relationships we nurtured over the years.

The child in each of us

Now, as a parent, grandparent, and mentor to many, the child in me spells love the same way.? The wealth I desire to create these days is all about relationships in both my personal life and my professional life.? Relationships require the commitment of time and energy to nurture them, grow them and sustain them. ?Time spent with loved ones, being intentional about creating new intersections to enrich those we already have and discerning how to remove the toxic wastes of time in our lives are all important ways to increase the wealth that matters most. ?

Choose wisely

The pursuit of material wealth centered on position, power and money can create negative impacts on critical relationships.? A few years ago, I attended a conference in Chicago where a distinguished keynote speaker described knowing 7 billionaires personally and that every one of them was deeply unhappy with the life they had chosen.? Regret at the end of your days is sad.? It is also preventable if you create a meaningful Life-Work Balance in your formative professional years and don’t get trapped by the “golden handcuffs” that keep many in the wrong jobs for the wrong reasons.? Check your hourglass. ?Your life grains are slipping away as you pursue your own definition of wealth, whatever that is.? Make each grain count toward enduring wealth as you spend your days surrounded by those you love who love you because you invested T-I-M-E in them, and them in you. ?Once you know better, you can be better, then you can do better at everything important to you.