Hot Tub Turned Cold
Not every tale of nightlife is good. I was with my friend Sean. We worked together and hung out a lot. In college and the military he had a wide array of different friends.
He was someone different compared to the all male review at the comic shop. One Friday night we were driving around and he was invited to a party. I did not have "The Fear of Missing Out" because the parties he took me to had people who did not socialize enough or were only there to drink.
It was exciting to be in the moment. I did not need the lateral move of drinking to feel better. Also; the last thing in the world I need is a depressant. Who needs that when I end up at a party with a hot tub? I was not expecting this.
While I wore a T Shirt and shorts, it was not a bathing suit. This was not one of the infamous naked pool parties that happened over a Labor Day Weekend (I had two opportunities) and can discuss indefinitely.
Before learning there is no greater confluence of words in the English language than "Naked Pool Party" I was talking to woman vaguely known. I was not necessarily interested in her.
She was good at face value. We spoke and I knew her mother rather well. Her mom was no nonsense and taught me a lot about standing up for myself. She had Lupus and has gone on to ancestry.
Thinking about the crowd around me I spoke with the one lady I knew. When her better friends arrived she dropped me like a bad habit. Was she embarrassed by my existence? Did she treat me like hors d'ouevres as she waited for the main course?
Why did she not introduce me to a different group of friends? They were into themselves. I did not notice anyone drinking. It probably happened. It's not like they saw each other and pulled out bottles to drink fully.
By the time they jumped in the hot tub it was over. They forgot I existed. Indifference is worse than hatred. If they don't care whether I am there or not I had two choices: stay there like a chump and hear third party conversations or pull out.
This was October. Suddenly it seemed a lot colder. Not only because of the attitudes. I was far from home. When a four mile walk is preferable to being snubbed by randoms I could not pick out in the modern era: the lesser of two evils was exiting on my own.
Sean found me on the way home. It wasn't his fault by any stretch of the imagination. He did not have much fun, either. He was not disrespected and ignored. Maybe that is why he got in the van and drove home.
It is important to reflect on good experiences. What about the next foray into nightlife? It was more of a day party. A radio station had a live remote and the best remotes have interactions with the audience and the show becomes secondary.
I met seven great people that night. I was flat broke and did well in the moment. It probably taught me not to take anyone home from anywhere. Nightlife should be like life: enter by yourself, meet many lovely people in the moment avoiding the jerks and when it ends you exit alone knowing that you did something worthwhile.
Examples of indifference are the same. Someone only cares about their pleasure, the money they could make and not cultivating a better experience. Indifference hits caring individuals a lot harder because they exploit caring- probably hiding behind empathy.
It is best to go out without expectations. In the same way some new employees act like the next big thing and barely last one month; there are others who put in the work and make a name for themselves. Thinking a party will be great leads to disappointment. Even if it is good; expectations were not met. Let fall what may. Some things are better than imagined. Others are good until they are not.