The Hospitality Mirage

Stop sugar-coating people! Honesty over faux friendliness.

Lately, the hospitality industry often suffers from a pervasive culture of "fake nice." Employees and leaders are relentlessly pushed to present an unblemished facade of friendliness, regardless of guest behavior or demanding workloads. This creates a toxic cycle, relentless criticism during employment followed by a desperate attempt to maintain a positive image on departure.

This concept argues that true hospitality thrives on authenticity, not a sugar-coated veneer.

Firstly, the constant pressure by some team members depending on their position and authority level to be overly pleasant creates a demoralizing work environment and a poor medium-long-term culture. When employees are never "good enough," regardless of effort, it fosters a sense of inadequacy and disengagement. Constant criticism kills morale, leading to high turnover and a workforce that feels undervalued. It is worse when you ask them what can be done, to improve the brand culture, specific fixed behavior on their teams, or their leadership culture, the answer always is "I don't have time now!" or "We still need to hire more staff" or "I'm on my way for a meeting".

Regular one-on-one meetings and assessments are crucial to prevent the very issues we outlined in this topic about the hospitality industry's "fake nice" culture.

Secondly, the desperate attempt to maintain a positive image upon departure is disingenuous. If an employee has endured harsh criticism throughout their tenure, a sudden show of appreciation rings hollow. This creates a perception of inauthenticity, further eroding trust between employer and employee. And it is ridiculous, it makes you feel like a clown of yourself!

Most importantly, this culture of "fake nice" fosters a dangerous illusion. When feedback is withheld or sugarcoated, there's no opportunity for growth. Instead, you are gaining time for mediocrity, and mistrust, and management misses the chance to address genuine concerns and improve the work environment.

Similarly, guests may be unaware of the true cost of hospitality. They may leave convinced of exceptional service, oblivious to the stress and strain placed on employees.

So, how do we move toward a more authentic and sustainable hospitality culture?

Belonging may be a way. Create a sense of belonging for everyone involved in your company culture. Belonging to a culture is central to culturing your peers, partners, and team members. The word itself sums it up perfectly, be - long. To belong in a team, in a culture is to have a sense of being in the right place, at the right time, with the right people, of being able yourself and to allow others to do the same.

Our desire to socialise and be fit in is hardwire into our brain, which capture the long aspect of the word. We want to belong for the long as we can.

Shift from relentless criticism to constructive feedback. Create open COMMUNICATION channels where team members feel safe to voice concerns.

Show genuine appreciation throughout employment, AND BY DOING SO EVERYONE NEEDS TO BE INVOLVED not just at the exit, when someone shows their intention of attention turned out, I'm leaving. Offer recognition for achievements and always invest your time in employee well-being.

Set clear and ACHIEVABLE GOALS for both team members and guests. Attainable. Adding transparency fosters trust and reduces unrealistic expectations from both sides, including whoever is rocking the boat.

Positive work (people) cultures offer all of this and more. The opposite is the isolation or fracturing of social teams into the smaller and often hostile cliques that are to be found in silo leadership, turning your brand, leadership, and team members into a sugar-coat philosophy.

Team training! Focus on service and hospitality, not on salesmanship!