To the hospital, James.

The dialysis diaries chapter 15

So. Where does this chapter start? Ahh yes, end of the Christmas school holidays. Must've been first week of February. I drove Axl n Maddie back to the Gong from Coffs. Nothing unusual happened, except the usual "Dad I'm hot turn the a/c on.... dad it's cold, put your window up... etc etc" By the time I had dropped the kids off at their mama's place I had a runny nose and was feeling kinda like I was getting a cold. With my reduced immune system it had become pneumonia 72 hours later. Went and saw my man, my GP. He prescribed three courses of antibiotics and told me to let my trusted kidney doctor know i was on anti-bios. Which I did. He told me to remove a tablet from my daily mix... and this is where the perfect storm gathered. I removed the wrong tablet. It was a simple enough mistake, they were both 'orange coloured football shaped pils, but uh, I , removed one of my kidney anti-rejection drugs.... for 42 days before a blood test showed wtf had happened. My body started rejecting my 5/6 kidney. But I just didn't know, I didn't feel any different and the kidney seemed to be working just fine... I was rushed to hospital then put on an air ambulance to RPA in Sydney for The Treatment.

The Treatment I named Bunny Juice. The CSIRO breed these little rabbits from which they extract some fluid from the rabbit's liver (the rabbit is OK) and make this serum with it, which is then customised to my specs and then IV dripped into me. I had six of these at RPA and the numbers came back. I was gonna make it - well, my donor kidney was gonna make it. OK that's the kidney taken care of. Just do exactly what the doctors tell me to do. And I have.

Next. About a week after I got out of RPA the squiddy cannula-fisula in my arm started once again giving me SVT attacks. And I was bleeding internally - from the thorax. I was in Coffs base after the SVT attacks as they involved Cardio on my case for the first time. They could clearly see the squiddy was placing unnecessary strain on one side of my heart, hence the SVT's (where blood fills the heart and cant empty it quick enough, in my case because one side of my heart has become road hardened to the quiddy.

They also went hunting for the source of the internal bleeding. The op I had a year or so ago to fix the aneurism behind the aorta stent seemed fine... the extent of the bleeding became apparent when I was walking from my bed to the coffee machine and I just fell over - no warning and vomited 2.5 litres of black blood up. I remember being on my hands n knees watching it fan out across the blue corridor floor while some passing staff freaked out. I was pumped full of stuff and that was all I remember. This must've been about 9 am in the morning because I didn't come to until around 1pm with a camera down my throat. I remember hearing the doctors and one telling me I was for all intents and purposes by the numbers, I was dead - around 11am.

But as they pulled the camera out and my senses returned, I was utterly distracted by something I had seen while I was under... I think I stood on the precipice of life in the here and now, or, what awaits the body once that threshold has been crossed - let me describe what I saw and felt:

A vortex surrounded by black. It is unbelievably violent and noisy. You feel it. Standing right next to it, all blue, electric white and snowy. I knew this was where life ends, and is destroyed as it falls into this vortex. Like the event horizon on a black hole. I have no idea what happens once you fall into that vortex. But soon it was time for me to leave this place, I had seen enough, I had had my peek at what is down there - then a huge roar like a huge beast emerged from the edge of the vortex. It was a very mean looking truck - a big shiny truck that was alive somehow, opened its cab door and a voice told me to "get in" I was told to "hang on" as the truck left the vortex and kind of ejected me onto the side of the road - a place I know in Coffs Harbour. The silence now roared in my ears. I was nowhere near the hospital, and It took a short while to get my bearings - but I was in a hospital bed once again. Only now I was being transported to the air ambulance again, to John Hunter Hospital in Newcastle.

At JHH I was put in a solo isolation room for tests and observations. It's worth adding here that before the events of the last few weeks, I was booked in for op 12 to remove the squiddy at Coffs Hospital. So much for that. I missed the surgery date as was I was already in hospital for all this other shit. It was at JHH I had my first round of Cardio tests as they assessed me and then told me of an operation I will need - it's called heart ablation and is quite common, but this will stop the SVT attacks, along with getting rid of squiddy.

I was flown back to Coffs Hospital after about a week at JHH, where I was put in solo observation at the cardio unit and given a whole range of drips for about three days and then finally let home.

Then about a week later my Renal Physician calls me and says my kidney numbers are slipping again - high K levels and high Calcium. So... that was two weeks ago. I did two weeks on saline drips for 16 hrs a day. My right arm is a dart board from dozens of canulaus,blood tets and injections... and That tape they use that rips your skin.

In the last week I was told to drop all dairy foods. That includes milk. Milk for me is and always has been a staple. I drink gallons of the stuff. Turns out that my bones are different to most people my age, who leak Calcium and need Calcium tablets and stuff. But oh no, not this little black duck. No I dont even need Calcium in fact I need to get rid of it by not consuming it. So, I'm on Almond Milk. I got out of Coffs Hospital two days ago and have a schedule of blood tests etc etc for thre next few weeks... until they are satisfied the Calcium thing is settled.

And get on with the next two ops - squiddy removal and the heart ablation op. I will have them both done at RPA as I want my World First vascular surgeon take charge.

Pretty fucked up first half on the year huh... and a lot of it could have been avoided.

BUT thru all this, I have been playing a lot of music with others. Pro gigs. I've met a very cool guy who has been in the biz for years n years and wants to do some work with me - and his set lists are kinda right in line with mine. he has a 24 channel studio - So yeah.

I got me a big mofo Orange guitar rig and the second 800w AB tower for my bass rig. They sound fucking awesome. Some gigs are better than others but I won't play with inferior sound or amps - never have - I learned back in the heavy gigging days that I don't wanna fight with my guitars and basses - so I give them a lot of power. It just makes whoever i am playing with, well, just sound better and gives me that stage confidence - with your sound and playing. It lets you take command of your instrument.

I still get a shitty cramp along my left arm where the scar is for the first squiddy removal site but If I eat bananas, drink grapefruit juice it helps get rid of them - Magnesium and Potassium. And lets see rthat happens after the squid has been removed...

So now I'm looking at supermarket shelves hunting down low Calcium milk alternatives. Interestingly about 80% of the dozens of products all boast "High in Calcium:"... sheesh...

OK, I'm going to crank up the Orange n play me some Stephen Stills songs.

This being one of them: FOUR DAYS GONE

I met two kind people on the road

I was parched and dry from the cold

I've been travelin' four days and nights, sir

And I do want to thank you for the ride, sir

And the soup your wife made tasted fine

If it's all the same

I'll be on my way at the next turn

And I'm free marched out in my town

And my baby is waitin', I hope, sir

After fifteen trucks and an old Ford And the Government madness,

I ran away And I hate to say, I can't tell you my name

'Cause I'm four days gone into runnin' I can't even go home,

take my baby and run

Words and Music: Stephen Stills