Horses are Not Dogs: A Lesson in Listening

Everyone knows that horses are not dogs. Yet, I find myself working with my horse as though he is a canine. I am new to horse ownership, although not entirely new to horses, and I have been a dog owner almost my entire life.

As I try to define my relationship with my horse, I find what I think I know getting in my way. I have trained my dogs for years and been around many different dogs and many dog-experienced people. I feel confident about my ability to read dogs and to communicate well with them. Horses, however, are - literally - a different animal. For example, a horse receives and reads affection very differently than a dog does and their motivations for obeying are frequently different. My (very slow) realization of how these differences play out has made me think...

The thing that has always been helpful when I do it, and bad when I don't, is listening. How many times in life have I gone into a situation believing X and finding Y? I have a lot of experience in my field, but the more experience I gain, the more I understand how much I need to be open to the dynamics of the particular situation at hand and use my experience to assist my actions, not lead them.

Listening is a skill that assists our ability to understand and communicate. As I approach projects, I am learning the importance of listening to the details, even the small ones, rather than rushing into a project or hearing to respond versus listening to understand. I have never regretted listening too closely, but I have regretted not doing so.

Listening to what is really being said, either in communications, through documents, body language, etc., allows the full picture to present itself. This allows one to respond to a situation better and more specifically. It is in catching the small details and the unspoken communications that one can better read a situation and respond.

So, as I work with my horse to build a relationship of trust and partnership, I remind myself that, as with other situations, understanding my audience and really listening makes for a much more productive conversation and outcome.