Horrible Bosses (No, Not the Movie)

*Exasperated Sigh*

If you have been in the workforce for some time, you may have come across one or two horrible bosses. When I talk about horrible, I don't mean an individual who is tough on you because they want to bring the best out of you. I am not talking about the bosses that chastise you for coming in 5 minutes late because they have a disdain for tardiness. You can have an annoying boss who is on you, like white on rice, but who genuinely wants to see you thrive. When I talk about horrible, I mean a leader who thrives on the belittling of others or who uses your downfall to climb up the corporate ladder. Horrible bosses are an entirely different breed from no-nonsense ones. When you are thrown into a work environment, it becomes a Choice Assorted kind of scenario and it is likely you will come across a boss you do not like at least once in your lifetime.

The workplace is a festering cauldron of an assortment of personalities and characters. Some colleagues have little to no emotional intelligence and are always whining about something. Some hate change and want things to stay the same, no matter what, even to their detriment. You will come across super achiever colleagues that you aspire to; you may even have the good fortune of working with people that eventually become your personal friends. This mixed bag of personalities is what you have to navigate every day to execute your role. The same applies to the people whom you report to, your bosses. You may have a nice boss, an assertive one or, God forbid, you may have a horrible one. Regardless, you still have to produce results in your position and bring value to your organization. Do you know how to recognize a horrible boss? After realizing the situation you are in, how do you deal with it?

Traits of a Horrible Boss

Nowadays the buzzword for horrible is toxic, but I am old school so we will stick to the word horrible (the word horrible will appear 20 times in this article, bear with me or comment with synonyms). The traits of a horrible boss are not so easy to pick up, especially if you are new to the team. Once you become in tune with your position in the establishment and learn your boss's character and modus operandi, you may discover that they have some undesirable habits that will make your work life hell. If your boss is bad-mouthing employees who have since left the company, it may be a sign that they are taking their departure personally. A boss like this is not able to divorce their own personal feelings from the needs of that employee. Perhaps the old employee needed a new challenge or took an opportunity for growth; if your boss is not able to see it that way, they may pass passive-aggressive remarks about them that do not reveal which of their expectations the old employee failed to meet.

It is a red flag (another buzzword for your enjoyment) if your boss does not take the time to invest in your progression in the company. You need to have one-on-one discussions and updates so that you know you are on track and understand what your role entails as well as what is expected of you. It is not a good sign to find yourself chasing your boss to provide feedback or feeling like they don't prioritize time for communication with you. How will you know if what you did was ingenious if they don't tell you? If they don't help you or shed insights on certain matters, how will you improve? Another red flag is a boss who withholds praise for others and generously awards themselves only glowing reviews. Your boss should be able to praise you for your accomplishments. If they cannot, they have a fatal flaw in their management style.

I have worked under an indecisive boss and it caused me intense anxiety. He would tell me he needed a presentation put together and give very specific details about how it should be done. After submitting it to him, he would decide that I needed to change certain portions of it. This would go on about 5 or 6 times until he would decide that it is better he does it himself. His indecisive nature made me feel like my work was not good enough even though I would do everything exactly how he wanted me to do it. It was like he didn't care for the time that I spent trying to meet his impossible demands. He had no empathy for how I felt, for the energy I expended trying to fulfill his expectations, and for the development of my skills. He would often offer no explanation for the sudden changes or if he thought my work was good. It was very stressful for me. A horrible boss is indecisive and has no consideration for how their indecisiveness affects you.

Feedback is crucial to your growth. If you have become efficient at meeting deadlines, perhaps there are other areas you could improve. Your boss has a birds-eye view of the operations and how you fit into everything. If they don't give you feedback or highlight areas that need improvement, you won't grow. Stifling your growth is a toxic trait of a horrible boss. If you notice that your colleagues are acting one way when your boss is there, and a different way when they have left, it may point to a red flag. You will naturally be more reserved and professional around your boss as compared to your co-workers; if your boss stifles freedom of thought and speech, they are likely to be a problematic boss.

A boss should be objective, but you have to give them some leeway as they are human beings and will be subjective from time to time. It becomes an issue when your boss shows clear favoritism for one of your colleagues. This means that instead of judging people on their efforts, your boss will judge the company's employees based on their own personal preferences or biases. For example, I may irk a boss who has some prejudice against black women or if they believe negative things about the LGBTQI+ community, they may not like the openly gay marketing guy. If you are generally oppressed, disrespected, and bullied by your boss, that is the epitome of a horrible boss. So, you have identified your boss as horrible, now what?

Dealing With A Horrible Boss

Unfortunately, unlike 1% of the world, you may not have a fat trust fund waiting for you. Just like millions of people around the world, you have to work to afford your lifestyle. You may even be the main provider for your family. Maybe the industry you are working in is where your passion lies, or maybe you just like where you work. The point is, you cannot quit solely because of a horrible boss. If you are in a sticky situation in a tense environment, there are a few things to consider before quitting your job.

1. Address your frustrations with your boss via email. If they have a volatile temperament, consider including a third party from the HR department to serve as a mediator or observer. Being assertive and direct with your complaints will show your boss you mean business and are here to work in a healthy environment.
2. Speak to your colleagues to find out if they have had a similar experience and if they managed to deal with it. Consider the solutions they employed and if it was effective for them. Seeking the opinions of others and their conflict resolution methods may be an eye-opening experience.
3. Sleep on it, then journal about it. Writing about your feelings after your emotions have cooled down allows you to observe exactly how you feel and why. Do you have cognitive distortions that you are projecting on the situation? Take time to introspect and decipher if you have played a part in the conflict. Writing about your feelings will give you a clearer picture of what the issues are and where those feelings stem from. This will also give way to solutions. You can make an action plan that is based on a consideration of facts and not heightened emotions.
4. Report your boss to their boss. This option has unpleasant consequences once your boss realizes what you did. Nobody likes to be told on, and your boss will likely have a negative reaction to the news that you have reported their behavior. Despite this, stand your ground and be clear about what has occurred and what solutions would make the situation better. Management will be more than willing to listen.
5. Quit! If you considered and implemented some of the suggestions detailed above, and the situation has not changed, then it may be time to walk away. If the cons outweigh the pros and you are losing sleep over the actions of your boss, plan a way out. Sometimes a paycheck is not worth your peace of mind.

Horrible bosses are an inevitability, like death, and they often create a grim environment, also like death. Prepare for it, do not be intimidated by them. This is your opportunity to test your emotional intelligence and conflict resolution skills. Rise to the occasion and see if you can deal with it, survive and live to work again. Or if you have done all you can, but seem to have some horrible bosses looming in your peripheral vision, write an article about it in your workplace newsletter that you created to release your work frustrations in a healthy way. You never know, it might help.

References

Torres, M. (2022, May 10) 8 Big Signs Your New Boss May Be Toxic. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/toxic-boss-signs_l_627924ace4b046ad0d7f45f2