Is There Hope For A Washed-Up Job Seeker?

Setting: an office on a midday afternoon. LIZ and MOLLY are seated at the conference table, talking quietly. The phone rings.

MOLLY (pressing button for speaker phone): Hello, this is Molly!

SARAH (on the phone): Hello, Molly! It's Sarah. It's nice to meet you!

MOLLY: It's great to meet you too, Sarah! Liz Ryan is here, too.

LIZ: Hi, Sarah!

SARAH: Hi, Liz! I don't want to gush, but -- I'm a big fan of yours.

LIZ: Thanks, Sarah! Glad to hear it. You are job-hunting, eh?

SARAH: Yes. I'm so confused. I'm changing careers -- or maybe not.

MOLLY: Do you want to tell us your story, Sarah?

SARAH: Okay. I had a great job and I lost it and I haven't been able to get my mojo back. I'm sure you ladies have heard it all before.

MOLLY: Not your story, Sarah! We want to hear it.

SARAH: Okay. I was a not-for-profit person for years. At the top of my career I was the Membership Director for a charity that works with homeless people. It was a great place to work. I was there for eight years. My executive director, Laurie, is a real visionary. I absolutely loved that job.

LIZ:  That's magnificent! What happened then, Sarah?

SARAH: Oh, the usual thing. Laurie wanted to make changes, to modernize the agency and move into the 21st century. A few of her Board members, the old guard and the most change-averse members, freaked out and it was a huge power struggle. It took everything out of us emotionally -- all of us on the team.

There was even talk of shutting down the agency, but that didn't happen. Laurie finally stepped down and we got a new Executive Director. I was so exhausted already from the drama and Laurie's departure, and the new Executive Director made it obvious right away that I was not her favorite person.

MOLLY: That sounds very stressful, Sarah.

SARAH: It was terrible. I lasted five months after Marcia, the new Executive Director, came on board. She had it in for me, and I don't mean to sound dramatic, but it's true.

She didn't like me because she wanted our agency to get a lot more of its funding from corporate sponsors and less from members, and I was in charge of membership, which was responsible for half of our revenue.

LIZ: How did your members fit into the organization and your mission?

SARAH: Our members joined as individuals or families to support our mission and participate in our programs -- mentoring programs, resume assistance and all kinds of things. Our membership dues made up 54% of our budget. Look at me, I still remember the percentage -- and that was four years ago!

MOLLY: What have you been doing since then, Sarah?

SARAH: Marcia and I got to the point where we were barely speaking. I wanted her to fire me so I could get severance, but she didn't, so I finally gave notice. I took the summer off -- I had a new grandchild four summers ago -- our first.

MOLLY and LIZ: Wow! How wonderful!

SARAH: She's a delight. I went back to work at a part-time job just to stay busy and make a little money. I thought it would be so much easier than it turned out to be to get another decent full-time job. I must have applied to a hundred positions, or more. I've had so few interviews and the ones I had didn't go well. I just feel like a complete loser and a has-been.

MOLLY: That sounds draining, Sarah. What are you doing now?

SARAH: I stayed at that part-time job for a year, but it wasn't enough money to even make a dent in our household budget so I quit and got a temp job. From there I got a full-time job and that's where I'm working  now, but it's a huge step down from my old job.

LIZ: What kind of job is it, Sarah?

SARAH: I'm the Assistant Director of Community Education at our local hospital. The job title is much fancier than the job actually is.

It's one step above a clerical job -- I organize community education programs around health and wellness. I get paid exactly half of what I used to earn.

I trudge to work every day and barely have the energy to job-hunt on the weekends -- that's why I finally bit the bullet and arranged this coaching program with you ladies. I need help!

MOLLY: What do you need help with specifically, Sarah?

SARAH: Well, my mojo is gone. I feel like I'm washed up and my career is over. I don't like my job but I feel trapped in it.

MOLLY: The work itself is unpleasant?

SARAH: It's boring, but more than that, I'm so conscious of how far I've fallen. It sounds ridiculous to say it, but -- I used to BE somebody. I used to do important work and get recognized for it. My flame was huge! Now I have no flame at all.

LIZ: It sounds painful. It's going to get better. This is a hard part of the process - talking about where you are now.

SARAH: You can say that again! I'm a mess. 

MOLLY: We want to hear about it, if you want to talk.

SARAH: I just don't  understand what happened. I feel like I got thrown into a blender and tossed around. I didn't do anything wrong. 

MOLLY: No one could blame you for feeling that way, Sarah. Are you ready for your first assignment?

SARAH: Yes.

MOLLY: Can you get a journal and write in it?

SARAH: Yes, but I mean -- how will that help?

MOLLY:  Like you said, your mojo is gone. I want you to write in your journal every day or every other day. Get out your feelings. Let them out. Write about the not-for-profit where you had such a great run and then ran into trouble. Write about what it was like when Laurie left and Marcia came in.

SARAH: They are terrible memories.

MOLLY: They are weighing on you, still. You can't move forward into a new chapter while you have all that weight on you. You are still feeling bruised, and no one could blame you for feeling that way, but you are going to turn a corner soon and start looking forward rather than looking back.

SARAH: Honestly, I want to be excited about the future but I don't know how or whether I can get my mojo back. At my age --

MOLLY: How old are you, Sarah?

SARAH: Fifty-five.

MOLLY: Fifty-five is youthful!

LIZ: Fifty-five is the new thirty-two! I think you may feel washed-up or old because your mojo has disappeared, Sarah. You are young. Your age shouldn't  have anything to do with your job search success.

SARAH: But I mean -- age discrimination is real.

MOLLY: Yes, it is real! All kinds of problems and obstacles are real. Some people don't have a degree and other people have an ex-manager who still holds a grudge and gives them bad references.

There are obstacles everywhere, but they are all surmountable when we have our feet under us -- when we have our mojo. Until we remember what we have, the obstacles look huge. They get smaller and smaller as your mojo comes back in.

SARAH: I guess I feel like -- I want to be as optimistic as you and Liz are, but I still feel the wounds.

MOLLY: That's a good observation. We talk to wounded people every day Sarah, and we see them recover from the wounds and get back on their path and say "Wow, I feel like myself again!" That's why we may sound optimistic to you. This is a pattern. You are in the low point of the wave, the trough, but you're going to come back up. You will be fine. You're not washed up in the slightest.

SARAH: Maybe I'm just burnt out. I need you two ladies to help me get a great new job.

MOLLY: We will! We will coach you to grow new muscles.

SARAH: Um -- do I have to grow muscles? (Laughs) I guess that's all part of it, but I was hoping that with the Human-Voiced Resume you're going to write for me, and once I learn about Pain Letters, I'd be set. How much muscle-growing do I have to do?

LIZ: Your muscles will be the key to your success, Sarah! Neither your Human-Voiced Resume nor your Pain  Letters will get you a great job by themselves, or even together. You are the athlete. We are the coaches.

Your belief in yourself will power your job search and any other adventures you're taking on. Your mojo is your fuel! Every technique we teach is powered by mojo. That's why rebuilding your mojo and self-confidence are so critical. The techniques we teach you won't work without them!

SARAH: I believe you. I understand what you're saying -- intellectually. But remember, I applied for over a hundred jobs and got nothing out of it.

MOLLY: You won't lob any more applications into Black Hole recruiting sites, Sarah! You mentioned Pain Letters -- that's a whole different way to job-hunt. Don't judge yourself, us or this process, Sarah -- take a break from judging for a while. Write in your journal. That's your assignment!

SARAH: You're saying that I am in my own way.

MOLLY: There is an energetic logjam in your way, and you are the person who can remove it, twig by twig. Your perceptions and beliefs about what has happened in your career and what those events mean are in your way, to be precise. Take your current job -- you hate it because you're conscious every day of how far you've fallen, to use your expression.

SARAH: Well, it's a big drop -- and a fifty percent pay decrease.

MOLLY: Now turn the crystal just one quarter-turn and see your job through a different prism. It's a great job for someone -- someone who doesn't feel like a washed-up decision-maker who has fallen from a great height. The job itself is a great job -- it's your view of it that makes it hard to bear. Many people would hear  about your job and say "Wow, what a difference you are making for citizens who want to take control of their health!"

SARAH: You're right. I know you're right. It's not my job's fault that I feel so downtrodden. I know my morale is in the basement. Thank you for saying that.

From that standpoint, it is a good job -- I do help people get healthier. I can see that side of it when I don't compare the present to the past, but it's hard.

LIZ: It's hard not to do that, Sarah -- we have all been there! We all judge ourselves harshly at times. This is a new chapter. No judgment -- no self-recrimination. You are turning a corner. The future is vast, and bright!

SARAH: So bright I have to wear shades?

MOLLY: The next time we talk, Sarah, we want to hear about your new shades! If it were me, they'd have rhinestones on  them.

SARAH: Okay, I've got my assignments -- journaling every day, and a new pair of rhinestone sunglasses!

Discussion Questions

Sarah is working now. Why is Sarah so down on her job?

Sarah can't stop thinking about the loftier, more responsible job she had at the not-for-profit organization. She is comparing her present state to her old situation and beating up on herself for not being as successful now as she used to be. Are there ways in which Sarah is more successful now than she was before?

How is Sarah's nearly-empty mojo fuel tank making her career change and job search harder?

Every part of a career change or job search requires self-confidence. Sarah's self-confidence is gone. She needs to build it back up! Most of us have been through a Mojo Drop like Sarah's at least once. 

Who makes the drawings for Liz Ryan's stories, and how are they made?

Liz Ryan draws the images for her stories and for Human Workplace eBooks and courses. The image of Sarah at the top of this story is drawn in colored pencil and the other drawings are a mix of marker and pencil.

If Sarah's story sounds familiar, you may need to build your self-confidence, too! Check out the Four-Week Virtual Course "Repair Your Battered Self-Esteem," a step-by-step program for getting your mojo and confidence back!

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