Hope: It's not what you think

We all need hope. It motivates us to get up in the morning and get going on the day. It makes our burdens less tiring. It's even been documented to reduce anxiety and depression while improving health and quality of life.

Hope is not a blind conviction that everything will be okay.

Hope involves a process (often internal, unconscious). Hope requires having a goal, having options for achieving the goal (pathways), and believing in one's ability to take meaningful action.

Hope is generally possible, but it may not be everything you want.

Hope for a cure in a cancer situation, for example, is a natural desire. But it's not a hope you can make come true. Instead, convert it to something you can affect, such as having hope to make the treatment as easy as possible. Does your loved one have a hard time with chemo? Here you do have many options:

• Learn about the side effects.
• Be ready with remedies for nausea.
• Pick the best time of day for treatment.
• Find the easiest transportation there and back.
• Simplify daily activities and be patient if your relative struggles with the fog of "chemo brain."

If you find yourself losing hope, examine what you are hoping for. Is it something you can influence? If not, revise your hope to something more within your ability to change. And if everything seems outside your reach—which happens often in caregiving—then make sure there is some other part of your life where you can achieve a desired goal. Make a plan and follow it so you can feel that at least one area of your life is under your control.

Does hope feel elusive?

You are not alone. As the Metro DC experts in family caregiving, we at Aging Well Eldercare know how important hope is for keeping your spirits up. How tiring it can be when you feel hope fading. Let us help you bring realistic hope into your life. Give us a call at 301-593-5285.