HOPE FOR THE BACKSLIDER!
Backslidden and Drunk on a motorcycle (1976)
Thank God for His wonderful mercy, kindness, and goodness. Even when we fall short, He's still there to help us, protect us and to keep us. There was a brief period in my life after I gave my heart to Christ that I backslid. I was like a yo-yo in my walk with God for maybe two months; messing up, repenting, walking with God, and then messing up again, just to start the cycle over. Everything is a little bit foggy about those days. I had come back to Wisconsin from being in Alaska, doing missionary work with the Yupik Indians in the region of Dillingham. Before I left Alaska, deep depression began to hit me hard. I had experienced a lot of persecution while living with the Yupik Indians.
During that whole time of reaching out and evangelizing, I had no fellowship with other believers. I did not know one other believer, except for the local sheriff, whom I had stayed with for a brief period. But now he and his wife had moved away, and I found myself all alone living on the mud flats in what had formally been a tent in the middle of winter. I still remember laying in my goose down sleeping bag on a wooden platform in that tent. 40 below zero outside with the wind whipping and howling over my little structure. Hoping and believing I would make it through another night. I would wake up in the morning trying to get a fire going in my 30-gallon makeshift wood stove. And then I would have to head out into the snow and walk 3 miles to get to the gas station where I worked. God in his mercy had kept me alive.
There is no one my age (20 years old) or even close to my age that wanted anything to do with God that I knew of in that pioneer town. Another major problem I had is that I did not have enough of the Word of God in my heart. This is the main reason for many believers not being able to get victory over the devil, temptations, test and trials, sickness, and disease.
Kenneth Hagan (a minister used to work for) shares a personal story along this line: he said that he was having tremendous meetings where the power of God was falling. Many people were being touched, healed, laughing, crying, and shouting. And yet despite these amazing meetings many of these same people were living defeated lives and going back into sin. He asked the Lord: Why this was happening?
The Lord said to him that a person can continue to breathe, and still die. Breathing is symbolic of the moving of the spirit, but the physical body needs food. It is the same with the spirit and soul of man. It takes the word of God being digested daily in the believer’s life to be able to overcome the test, trials, afflictions and temptations that confront us all.
Psalm 119:11 Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee.
Not only did I not have enough of God word in my heart but I was not attending a good, spirit-filled, Word church. There was no spirit filled church at that time available in Dillingham, Alaska. (There is now an Assembly of God church there.) I began to go into deep depression out on the mud flats of Alaska. Now here I was, the middle of winter and 40° below with the wind and the snow whipping around my little wooden shack made from a tent frame. I found myself beginning to dabble back into drugs and alcohol. I knew that I was in big time trouble, so while I still had some money left, in about February 1976, I bought a ticket back to my hometown in Wisconsin.
When I got back to Mukwonago, I began to try to share my faith once again. I was able to get a job in Waukesha, Wisconsin at a company that built transformers for high voltage lines. It turned out to be a very well paying job, and yet I was spiritually miserable. I was able to set enough money aside from this job to buy a 1973 Honda CB 750 touring bike.
The CB750 was the first modern four-cylinder machine from a mainstream manufacturer, and the term superbike was coined to describe it. Adding to the bike's value were its electric starter, kill switch, dual mirrors, flashing turn signals, easily maintained valves and overall smoothness and low vibration both under way and at a standstill. This particular bike had a front fairing, saddlebags, and the sissy bar.
During this period in my life, I could not find any other believers that I could fellowship with. I'm talking about people who really were excited about Jesus Christ, and who wanted to go all the way with God. I found myself beginning to visit the bars where I used to hang out. In the beginning, I was simply there to try to share my faith and drink a soda. But before I knew what was happening I found myself having a beer here and there. One night I ran into an old friend who was also driving a motorcycle (Joe Salesky). I never planned to get drunk that night, but I did. Before I knew what, I was doing, I was out on this cold, rainy night driving my motorcycle with this old friend, driving like an idiot. I still remember hitting speeds that night of over 110 miles an hour. I can still remember watching the gravel speeding past my front tire. I noticed that sometimes the tire was barely on the asphalt of the road as I'd take the corners at high speeds on the wet and curvy roads, whipping past big trees. On one curve doing over 100 miles an hour I almost slammed into a large oak tree. If my tire would’ve just slipped a little bit over onto the gravel, I would’ve lost can control. I would’ve hit that tree, and they would’ve been scraping my body off the bark of that oak tree. Amazingly this tragic situation did not cause me to let off the throttle of that bike for not even moment.
We finally ended up in the community where we both lived, in a town called Mukwonago, Wisconsin. I pulled up to a stop sign and when I stopped, I was so drunk that I fell over onto my right-hand side. Thank God I had crash bars front and back on that bike. Now, this motorcycle weighs approximately 500 pounds so you can imagine the struggle I had to get it back up right. Eventually, I could pick my motorcycle up into an upright position; just to have it fall again but now on to the opposite side. I was so utterly and completely drunk that I could not keep my bike upright at a standstill.
How was I able to drive the wet, curving, hilly back country roads of Wisconsin on a rainy, foggy night, at over 100 miles an hour at times? It had to have been God keeping me alive! I could not even keep my bike standing up at a stop sign let alone safely ride it at speeds of over 100 miles an hour on wet, curving roads! Thank God for His mercy, patience, and everlasting kindness! I know that I kept the angels busy that night! How come I was able to get away with this type of stupidity? And yet friends of mine I know died horrible deaths from similar situations. God Is So Good! Most of us if we look back over our lives, we can show you times when we should have been dead, and yet here we are breathing and kicking. Just the fact that we made it out of (should’ve been dead situations) proves that there is a loving and merciful God in heaven.