IN HONOUR OF ONLINE SHOPPING

Note: - This article was written a couple of years ago, when some of my friends were not working for the e-commerce sector, I now dedicate it to them.

Women are powerful shoppers and men don’t stand a chance when compared to their spending powers. It’s a known fact (and in my case an experienced one too) that they can understand the 2377 colours which are there, the 1331 textures, 377 textile material etc etc. Shopping is the ultimate experience of joy for them which is increased manifold when doing so with someone else, mainly other women friends. A bevy of shopping women can spend hours in a mall, or a market, specially one they have recently come to know exists. They will look at all that is on display, while ignoring what they had come to buy, this can be put down as a rule for all women shoppers. Then they'll end up purchasing those items that were not on the buying list but have huge discounts, this too can be taken as a rule. Lastly bargaining which is an art is in their blood and they can (each one off them an artist in her own right), write a book on their way of trying to get the prices down.

Men on the other hand, are fast on the draw while shopping, they usually have already decided to buy what they like, even before they reach the shopping destination. They feel they are superior beings and can’t be seen to be wrong. First, they rarely shop and second when they do, they prefer to do so alone, be quick and do so without the support of anyone. Shopping usually becomes an embarrassing experience for both the man in question and the shopkeeper. It usually boils down to who will blink first to change the specifications, when it was already decided. Price is never discussed, any discount is OK, but asking for one is anathema for the male shopper, bargaining thus is simply out of question. Checking and comparing similar products in the same shop is a waste of time, while looking at other goods on offer anywhere in the mall or market, a clear violation of their own self imposed male shopping rules.

Then there are those torturous times, when both men and women have to carry out sorties to the malls and markets, with the ultimate purpose of shopping together. At times the deliberations before the start of such an adventure take days and weeks, treading on Shakespearean philosophy :-

“To be, or not to be a shopper paired with your spouse, that is the question,

Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer

The slings and arrows of outrageous shopping,

Or to say No to a Sea of future troubles,

And by opposing end them: to peace or more turmoil

No more; and by a snooze, to say we did not shop together”

Men and women follow different Standard Operating Procedures (SOPs) on shopping and since “never the twain shall meet", all such misadventures turn up the heat quotient in an already fired up relationship. Here the rise in temperature should not be confused with “hotness” that which is found in a romantic association, but can be understood as one that is found in the devils domain. In all such shopping catastrophes the male is left confused. He knows he is the shopping challenged intellectual inferior in the pair. Throughout his married life, he has been made to believe that all he does comes to naught and always, his opinions sought but only as a sounding board, never to be implemented. There is no exception to these rules and all those who are not in agreement need to check where they are going wrong in their relationships.

Enter “Online Shopping”, the greatest equalizer on the shopping spectrum. The one who designed online shopping must be given a Noble Peace Price for reducing domestic tensions. Online shopping has changed the way men go about shopping. With a mobile phone he is an empowered shopper, he does not need to now go to any mall or market and meet those astute shopkeepers. Discounts and bargains, well they are all advertised and he can pick and choose. No longer the shopping challenged, he can now enlighten himself online and can speak with authority about all those colours, those textiles and textures, authority that he didn’t have earlier. Some screen time is all that is required to explore what is available in the right colour and quantity. If you don’t like the stuff then you can always return it, from the safety of the premises of your own home. Are there any other positives, there are many, you forget a birth date or an anniversary date, all you need is some screen time and viola you are in her good books again.

After the advent of online shopping, it must be difficult for those superior women from Venus, as men being men can now refuse to accompany them on long sojourns to malls and markets with logic. Logic of the informed (which was not there earlier) and “It” can be bought from at home at cheaper rates with bargains and off the colour that may not be available in the mall or shop. Speaking from my own experience the women must not be liking “Online Shopping” much. It has taken away the edge that they held over their men, I have been able to buy almost everything that a normal household requires from fresh vegetables to milk to electronics to ethnic clothes to fabric etc etc. The best is online food, so what if there has been a fight, and the kitchen put on a lockout. Online Shopping gives you the power to devour wonderful Pizzas to Biryani (an Indian dish made with highly seasoned rice and meat, fish, or vegetables) to anything that can satisfy your palate, at any time of the day.

I am sure those men in their two wheeler's, who bring these online products are earning lots of male goodwill and some female ire too. To online shopping then my friends to online shopping, may the Force be with You.

???????????????These views are mainly mine, a much married & domesticated man.?Online shopping has opened my eyes to my own competences and skills that were hidden till recently. Now its me and my mobile, almost everyday a package is coming to the house. My better half is at times a bit annoyed at this freedom of choice that I now have and my new found shopping skills. Bachelors are warned, this may not be applicable to you and your partners.?