Honoring the Memory of 9/11; Healing the Trauma
Riana Milne Life, Love Trauma Recovery and Mindset Coach
Helping Successful Adults who Struggle in Life and Love to Create the Life They Desire & Have the Love They Deserve
It's coming up - another Anniversary of 9/11. Do you remember exactly where you were when you heard about the tragedy of the 1st plane hitting the Twin Towers?
?With the anniversary of 9/11 happening next Weds, I thought I would send a message to all of us impacted by that tragic day.?
This is what Emotional Trauma does to us. It etches certain moments into our memories forever - like a deep imprint on our minds, hearts, and bodies.
September 11, 2001, was one of those moments. It was not just a day when two planes hit buildings; it was a day that altered the lives of countless families, friends, and communities.
?I remember I was in a Youth Investment Council meeting with about 20 others discussing the best way to reach Troubled Youth in the Atlantic City, NJ and surrounding areas.
?I had just completed my MA Thesis research paper and a program I created called VTV - "Ventnor Teen Vision" where for six months I volunteered my time giving a free Friday Night Coaching program teaching Childhood Trauma Recovery & Resilience Skills to teens in 9-12th grades. It was a model program that brought excellent results to close to 250 high school adolescents.?
?(You can read that Thesis now online - if you like research papers and my beginning of getting into Trauma Recovery work, 25 years ago) - It's one of my earlier books:?
?Master’s Thesis: Increasing self-concept and developmental assets in adolescents using behavioral and psycho-educational interventions? https://bit.ly/IncreasingSelfEsteemInTeens
?Anyway, I was going to come out of that meeting and head to Ceasar's Casino to give a speech at the Rotary Club, when I saw I got 19 messages from my worried and panicked boyfriend, "that America might be at war!"
?What?! I was stunned, and I immediately went into survival mode (asking "What CAN I Do? to protect my daughters." I called and canceled the speech (figuring everyone was in a panic mode like me), went to the bank to take out money (figuring the banks would soon close - and they did for 3 days in my area), and went to buy "survival food" and water. (grocery lines were later "out the door.")
?I got hold of my girls and made sure they were aware of what was happening and told Alexi Panos to come home immediately. (Alexi was a Senior in HS and just celebrated her 18th birthday on 9/10, and I was so sad to think this was the world she was entering into upon graduation!). Stephana Ferrell was living in CA and assured me she would keep an eye on the news and among friends, also preparing for survival.?
?Once those necessities were done, I went up to my Therapy office to contact some people I knew had NY Family members to offer support - and then I got a call from ABC News asking me - "Could I come right down NOW to talk on the Trauma of 911" for the 5 pm news? - I looked down and saw I was wearing a royal blue suit (perfect for TV) grabbed my DSM-IV Psychology Manual, and said, "I'll be right there!"
?But as I drove over there, I said to myself, "My God, I want to Help - but what could I possibly say to help bring a sense of calm and peace during this sudden and horrible trauma? Obviously, ALL of us Americans were in Fear & Panic mode."
?I went on TV just being honest - saying "We are ALL Afraid, and as parents, the best we can do is prepare for our family and protect our kids. I encouraged each person to try their best to be loving and kind and do something to help their fellow man at this time (I opened my Counseling Center, Therapy by the Sea, to Free Counseling for anyone needing support, or for those who lost loved ones - for over six months.) I knew with Trauma, if you do something positive around it, the healing can begin.?
?I then spoke of the Stages of Sudden Trauma; which typically include:
?1) Initial Impact:?Immediate shock and disbelief upon witnessing or experiencing the event (this is where we were all on day one - 911)?
2) Reactive Response:?Emotional and psychological distress such as fear, anxiety, and grief. (From Day One forward, with being uncertain as to what would happen next - and worried about missing loved ones and our own personal safety).
?3) Recovery Phases: (followed Herman's stages of trauma recovery):
a) The need for Safety and Stabilization
b) Remembrance and Mourning
c) Reconnection with Self and others who experienced the trauma
d) Reconnection with the World, and then finally,
e) Integration back into our "normal" lives.
?The question of what type of exposure to the event is central to a PTSD diagnosis. Before 911, PTSD was mostly a diagnosis given to Soldiers and others witnessing or experiencing death (or close to death) events; but since 911, Trauma has been looked at differently.
?There are four types of exposure, according to the Psychological Manual The DSM-5:
1) being directly exposed to - or in - the traumatic event
2) witnessing the event
3) having a loved one experience or impacted by it
4) being exposed to repeated details of the traumatic stressor?
?These stages emphasize the importance of psychological support, community resilience, and long-term?healing efforts following a traumatic event like 9/11. ?
"More research has been conducted on the mental health effects of 9/11 than any other single act of mass violence in U.S. history,” said Joshua Morganstein, M.D., assistant director of the Center for the Study of Traumatic Stress at the Uniformed Services University in Bethesda, Md.
This has helped us to understand the broad range of psychological and behavioral responses to disasters, including distress reactions, health-risk behaviors, and psychiatric disorders.
?This has led to research that any type of Trauma (Big T or Little T Trauma) impacts us in 7 Life areas. And without healing, our lives remain impacted in negative ways.
Trauma stays with us because our brains and bodies are wired to respond to threats and fear. In that instant, when we heard the news or witnessed the horror unfold on TV, our brains locked onto the event.?
?The emotions, the shock, the fear - they created lasting impressions. It's why, even today, we can remember exactly where we were, who we were with, what we wore, and how we felt. Trauma, especially on such a scale as 911, embeds itself into our very being.
?As we read this as a "Human Family" today, I want to acknowledge the weight that many of you carry. Whether you lost a loved one on that day, or you’ve witnessed the pain of others who did, that kind of emotional trauma doesn’t simply fade with time.
?But together, we can heal. We can honor the memory of those who were lost and find ways to move forward with grace and love.
?The Power of Remembering
?One of the most important things we can do to honor those who were taken from us is to keep their memory alive. Grief is not about forgetting; it’s about remembering with intention. By continuing to honor their lives, we not only preserve their legacy but also provide a space for our own healing.
5 Ways to Keep the Memory of Loved Ones Alive:
Tell Their Stories Share memories and stories of your loved ones. Every time you tell a story, you breathe life into their memory. Whether it's with family, friends, or even strangers, keeping their story alive allows them to live on through you.
?Create Traditions in Their Name Start a tradition that reflects something that they loved. It could be an annual family gathering, a day of service, or simply lighting a candle on important anniversaries. These rituals help anchor their presence in your life.
Support a Cause They Cared About Whether it’s donating to a charity, volunteering, or organizing a community event, supporting a cause they cared about ensures their values live on. It’s a way to turn your grief into action, something that brings positive change to the world.
? ? ? I know my son-in-law Charles Ferrell holds a golf tournament in a Friends name who was killed in an accident - that raises proceeds to help support the children of his family. It gets bigger and more attended every year. He loved playing golf with this good friend - so this "give back" really resonated with him.?
? ? ?I had this talk with Alexi, about "Finding the Good from the Bad" and making a difference in our world -- see the information about her charity EPIC (Everyday People Initiating Change) she created at the end of this letter.?
Plant a Tree or Create a Memorial Garden There’s something deeply healing about nature. Planting a tree or creating a memorial garden in their name is a beautiful way to celebrate life. As the tree grows, it becomes a living symbol of their legacy, something that will endure long into the future.
Art, Music, and Creative Expression Expressing your emotions through art, music, or writing can be a powerful way to channel grief. Creating something in their honor - whether it’s a painting, a song, or a scrapbook of their life - can be incredibly healing.
Join or Create a Memorial Group Whether it’s joining a 9/11 support group, taking part in community remembrance events, or creating a small group with friends or family, gathering with others who share the loss can bring comfort and connection. You are not alone on this journey, and shared memories can help lighten the load.
?The Impact of Trauma on the Body and Mind
?Now, let’s return to trauma. Trauma not only affects us emotionally but also physically. When we experience something as painful as the events of 9/11, our bodies hold onto that pain. It manifests in our muscles, our posture, our sleep patterns, and our ability to find peace. That’s why, even years later, we may still feel the effects in our bodies as though the event happened yesterday.
?Hearing the constant news of the Israeli and Ukrainian wars, our humanity and care for the innocent victims can trigger anxiety and upset in our bodies. We know it could be us, or our loved ones impacted as well. This is one reason Americans are in such high-anxiety states today.
?4 Ways to Help Heal Emotional Trauma
?Mindfulness and Meditation Being present in the moment can help calm the mind and body. Practices like mindfulness and meditation allow you to process difficult emotions without becoming overwhelmed. By focusing on your breath and grounding yourself, you can gradually release the hold that trauma has over you.
?My grads in my Life & Love Transformation Programs have learned to have a keen focus on each day's goals. and their dreams and desires in life - while practicing spiritual concepts such as kindness, giving back, volunteerism, and helping others as part of their Purpose in Life. Having a strong Mindset helps to keep trauma at bay, despite what is happening around us.
?Physical Movement Yoga, walking, or other gentle forms of exercise are incredibly beneficial for trauma recovery. Trauma lives in the body, and movement helps to release stored tension and stress. It allows you to reconnect with your body and begin to heal on a physical level.
?Therapy and Counseling Speaking to a trained LMHC and CCTP-II - (Advanced Certified Trauma Professional Coach) - can offer an invaluable opportunity to process trauma. I help my clients to reframe and heal their Emotional or Love Trauma.?
?Don’t be afraid to seek help - taking the first step to work through and talking about your Traumatic experiences are the first steps to healing. Many people don't realize even though your trauma may have happened years ago, it is probably impacting you in many ways still today. (Example - a woman coming out of a long-term abusive marriage who is afraid to date years later....time doesn't heal that, Trauma Recovery skills does).
? "You Can't Change What You Don't Know or Understand"
Connecting with Others Human beings are wired for connection. Isolation deepens pain, but connection creates space for healing. It's important you move forward past the pain.
?Blessing the Memory of Those We Lost
As we move forward, it’s important to remember that our loved ones would want us to heal and be happy. They would want us to find peace, to live our lives fully, and to bless their memory by continuing to love, hope, and create meaning out of the loss we’ve experienced.
?In Honoring the Memory of 9/11: You could have a -?
1) candlelight vigil with a peaceful and reflective atmosphere.
2) tree planted as a memorial for 9/11 victims, symbolizing hope.
3) community group planning a "Remembering 9/11" event, filled with support and encouragement.
Take a moment to reflect on the love and life of the person you lost. Whether it was during 911, or at any other time.
?If you are Spiritually based, you realize that they are never truly gone; they live on in your memories, your heart, and in every act of kindness you extend in their honor. Do something in memory of them.
?Together, we can heal. Together, we can remember. And together, we can honor their legacy by living our lives with purpose, compassion, and grace.
In closing of this Podcast Friday email to you today, let us take a moment of silence to honor those we have lost, to bless their memory, and to hold space for healing within ourselves.
?May we find comfort in knowing that their spirit is still with us, guiding us, as we continue to live in their honor.
?In?Light & Love, XO Riana
For Podcast Friday, in my collection to share today, I believe this is the best show for the Reflection and Memories of 9/11 and those we have lost.?
Show 78: Spiritual Trauma Recovery?- Learn How Trauma impacts you physically, emotionally, and mentally, along with the 8 symptom levels of Psychological Trauma on LessonsinLifeandLove.com podcast with Coach Riana Milne.
?I also cover The 6 Trauma Recovery guidelines, and share two inspirational readings, a reading from my book;?LIVE Beyond Your Dreams - from Fear & Doubt to Personal Power, Purpose & Success; by Riana Milne & Alexi Panos https://bit.ly/LIVEbook ?(LINK)?about the Importance of having a Plan B to prepare ahead of time for a difficult transition or in a time of crisis.
Then I share a spiritual guided meditational prayer for healing our world.
I also suggest some questions to ask ourselves when we are trying to adjust positively to stressful situations -?https://lessonsinlifeandlove.libsyn.com/website/78-spiritual-trauma-recovery ?
Learn insights on how we can make good use of the time we have to be healthy and provide value to ourselves and others.?You will also learn ways to set up a great support system. Enjoy the podcast!
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From my Lessons in Life & Love Archives:
YouTube Channel (Over 350 audios and videos) -?
?In closing, I am wishing my Alexi a Very Happy 41st Birthday - on 9/10 - turning 41 on this day; she is not only a wonderful, loving, dedicated daughter, but a true light to the world as an Expert World Coach; Mom, Wife, and CEO of the EPIC Charity - Everyday People Initiating Change - (with her best friend Tennille Amor)...
who have put over 30 clean water wells in Tanzania Africa & surrounding areas - since the age of 20 - (with over 25,000 served) - as well as teaching Women's Empowerment to ladies in Africa....
?Alexi took the lessons of 9/11 and gave back to the world....with their 503c Charity Organization where 100% of donations go to their programs.?
If you are called to learn more, join her team, or donate to make a difference - here is the website >?https://www.epicthemovement.org/team
As her charity asks; "What Can YOU Do Today?" to help share your love, kindness, and Make a Difference?
I hope you feel Love and Inspiration Today. Please send special Prayers to those we have lost as we have a special day of Reflection on 9/11 -
....and Find Yourself Full of Gratitude for the Many?Blessings we DO have in our world.
?In Light & Love, XO Riana
?P.S. Need Help in Healing your Emotional or Love Trauma?
Reach out to me at - https://RianaMilne.com to start your Healing Journey with your Private, 2-hour Discovery Session with me.?
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