Honoring Loss, Embracing Hope: Navigating Grief Through the Winter Solstice

Honoring Loss, Embracing Hope: Navigating Grief Through the Winter Solstice

The winter solstice, heralding the longest night, invites us into a realm of introspection, particularly poignant for those whose lives have been touched by loss. Within this sacred period of stillness and darkness lies an opportunity for profound self-reflection, a chance to delve into the recesses of our souls.

For me, the winter solstice signifies the longest and hardest day of my life as a Mom. It marks the day I received the devastating news of my youngest son Michael's passing, forever altering the way I perceive this season and its associated holidays. We had his funeral in January of 2020 yet he passed on December 21, 2019. It seems like forever ago and just one second for me and his siblings.

In the embrace of this solstice, I've discovered the delicate equilibrium between honoring his memory and navigating the depths of grief, all while seeking solace in the promise of the returning light.

Just a few days ago, amidst celebrations of my daughter's university graduation, grief during this time was brought to the forefront of the graduation ceremony. The area where I seated was full and only one seat in front of me remained empty. I felt my son's presence there and my heart felt deeply for the families who had just experienced their own loss. You see, this season isn't just mine to navigate. It's a time when empathy and sensitivity become essential for all, especially in communities touched by recent tragedies.

At our university, we suffered the loss of 3 faculty members due to a senseless shooting that just occurred on December 6th of this year at the campus. This tragic event weighed heavily on our hearts, we all lifted up prayers for the families who now are experiencing the first weeks of grief and healing intentions for the 1 staff member who is still in the hospital due to this act of violence.

The topic of grief emphasizes the fragile nature of life amid our own celebrations of December graduations and the holiday season. The conflict of emotions, from being a proud Mama for my daughter and celebration of her success to profound sadness and fear that a random shooter caused such grief and fear for our school community underscore the complex tapestry of this solstice season for me and many others.

Grief, an intricate mosaic of emotions, prompts us to confront life's unpredictability and the disparity between our expectations and reality. It's a tumultuous journey—denial, anger, bargaining, and depression intertwine, demanding acknowledgment without judgment. To express ones vulnerability and emotions over such losses is a strength and is a normal human response. I do pray for the day when our schools, concert halls and streets are safe from random shootings, a situation that happens more in America then any other country that I am aware of.

The parable of Kisa Gotami in Buddhist tradition mirrors our quest for solace in the face of mortality. Her relentless pursuit of a cure for death reflects our own endeavors to escape the inevitable, yet her journey toward wisdom illuminates the essence of human suffering.

The winter solstice, veiled in darkness, embodies the imminent return of light. Similarly, our odyssey through grief offers glimpses of profound transformation, urging us to embrace vulnerability and accept life's impermanence.

In navigating this season of remembrance, it's crucial to extend understanding to those traversing their own journeys through grief. Sensitivity from coworkers, employers, and neighbors can offer immeasurable support to those coping with loss. Sometimes checking in on others is more valuable than telling them to have a happy holiday.

May we, amid this cycle of life and loss, find solace in the eternal. As the Native American prayer goes, "Naked you came from Earth the Mother. Naked you return to her." Within this cyclical dance, may the light that pierces through the darkness bring hope and renewal.

Pictured below is my son Michael and I on a summer solstice just prior to him transitioning back to LOVE just moths later on a long winter solstice day.

#wintersolstice #unlvstrong #loveliveson #loveisallthereis