Honoring the Legacy of Grandpa Hal: The Inspiration Behind VivaValet

Honoring the Legacy of Grandpa Hal: The Inspiration Behind VivaValet

It is time I write a little something about how it all started.??

In 2008, shortly after my Grandma Ruth had passed away, I visited Grandpa Hal in Monroeville, PA.? I felt terrible for missing my grandmother’s funeral, but it was hard to make it in time from Malaysia.?

When I visited Grandpa Hal, he must have been about 85.? I was newly married, and my husband came with me. They were both electrical engineers and as my husband was 76, they got along great (I will pause so you can all reread that).???

The moment I stepped into my grandparents’ home changed everything for me.?

To most people, they would not have blinked twice. It was the same split-level home my father grew up in and the same home with a back that led into the forest that I would spend humid summers getting lost in, but somehow it was completely different.? Grandma Ruth was not there, and not just her love was vacant, but the parts of life that became clear she managed were unattended.?

Grandpa Hal was an extremely independent, intelligent in all things kind of man and perfectly capable of thriving on his own. Habitually, however, I could tell now that Grandma Ruth handled the home, the belongings, the kitchen, and the meals.? My throat pulled a little as I found a place to sit and immediately went to the kitchen to make drinks for all of us as my husband and Grandpa Hal chatted in the living room.? As I glanced around the kitchen, my heart pulled as I could see signs of where a little more care should be, and I was not living anywhere near close enough to give it. I noticed a half-eaten pie, partial meals, and some expired items in the fridge. Nothing indicated any cooking was taking place, but only meals purchased from outside that were reheated and worked through over time.??

As I moved around the house, I could tell by the clearing pattern of belongings where most of his time was spent and what parts of the house (where more and more things were stored) were used less and less. ? I could see the work needed for broken items in the house, waiting to be fixed. I realized at that moment everything I had learned by my second year of marriage.? While being hyper-focused on keeping my older husband safe, loved, motivated, autonomous, healthy and most importantly confidently ALIVE,? I picked up on a? few things and silently adjusted how we do things. The acute knowledge of the fall hazards, safety issues, nutrient absorption, biohazard traps, over-dependency on care, and actions that aging was making harder was apparent to me. While I would NEVER say a single thing to Granpa Hal that day,? I noticed.? I noticed that I would immediately change the bath mats, replace the towel racks with industrial grab rails, and get a higher toilet by about 2 inches to take pressure off his knee.? I would line the higher-backed furniture closer to the paths he already cleared for himself around his belongings. I would immediately clean the kitchen and the bathroom ( I did this subtly while there).? So why wouldn’t I tell him?? Killing his confidence or creating doubt in his ability to care for himself would have caused more harm than good. Over the months and years, as we spoke, I would just mention to him the changes I made around the house and in our lives for my husband. The ones that resonated with him, he would acknowledge and later change.?

I did ask him if he cooks and where he gets his meals. He said a few neighbors and some people from the church checked on him. But mostly goes to the diner a couple of times a week and eats there at the senior discount. As he does not eat much anymore, he brings the rest home for a few days.? I asked what he looks forward to in the week, and he told me about the tech class he teaches at the community center for seniors.? And finally, he showed me his 2-way radio, which has always been his passion.?

We left after a few hours, and I felt grateful for seeing him. Still, a significant pang of guilt followed me to Malaysia.? I knew this man would live a long life. He was strong except for some knee pain, and his mother lived to 104. I also knew he did not want to move out of that house. I wondered how he plowed snow, mowed the lawn, and got things fixed. And I knew the answer was that he would do it himself or not at all, and both worried me a little.???

All the way back to Malaysia, the guilt grew. I couldn't help feeling that if I lived nearby, I could come over to help – clean and tidy, send some meals, do some laundry, and check on the state of things. He would be able to stay there independently as long as he wanted. And that is what made the pain grow.? That I? just couldn't do that.?

Or could I?

The second I landed in Malaysia, I started searching and calling cleaning companies, laundry services, and meal delivery.? I was zero for three.? Few were online, and those I called were never available in my waking hours.? I once got up at 3 am to reach people, but I could not coordinate any of the services and pay from where I was. I felt defeated.? I then decided I would do it myself.? I imagined what it would be like if all these services were available to me to order for him from far away to make living alone more viable for longer.? I called a few nursing homes to see if I could bundle their services, it took me 2 years, but then I found one. Although I wanted to avoid being in the business of these services and wanted to avoid taking business from other local providers, I did not find an alternative.? I then imagined what it would be like if I could put these on an app in a large iPad for grandpa with a concierge he could call or that would call and check on him, or he could just order himself easily, and I would pay.? I immediately sent him an iPad.? The onboarding of the Ipad in 2010 was different from what it is today, and it wasn't until I sat with him side by side, could I teach him how to use it.??

In 2011 I had twins, and this plan moved to the back burner.? My own life got in the way. But I always had this in the back of my mind. When I would hear about services like Uber, Food Panda,? or task rabbit.? I would click off pieces of my business plan that I no longer needed to build out. I also knew if I could ensure the? providers I used were safe and reliable, I could engage them and help their business instead of taking from it. ? During Covid, when EVERYTHING became accessible online, I decided it was time to dust this off, and we got started…. VivaValet was born.?

I immediately called Grandpa Hal. He told me it was wonderful, but he decided to move to assisted living due to 2 falls and his heart. My heart sank. I knew with certainty that he would not thrive without his independence. We spoke a few times about VivaValet, and he pushed me to keep going and gave me a few ideas.?

We lost Grandpa last year at 99 years lived. After surviving Covid, he suffered another health blow that he didn't recover from.? It was a hard, hard day at VivaValet.?

We will launch soon, and this company will always lead back to a visit to Grandpa Hal.?

This article was written by Mariam Parineh , Founder of VivaValet: Trusted Home Services for Older Adults .