Honoring Her Vision: Cherishing My Life

As I shared in the launch of this newsletter, the purpose of "Rising Above The Clouds" is to celebrate the incredible women who paved the way for us. Since finding the courage to embark on this journey, I have been reflecting deeply on my mother’s life and what it means to honor her memory. My mother passed away on August 9, 2021, just five days before my birthday. It has taken me three years to find the strength to confront the pain of her loss. Living far from her for 20 years taught me to live without her physically close, making it easier to pretend she was still here.

As I revisited the stories and memories of her, I rediscovered the immense strength she instilled in me. One story, in particular, stands out and sheds light on why women's rights are so important to me. My mother was born out of wedlock during a time when such circumstances brought shame. When my grandmother eventually married, she was forced to leave her daughter behind. This experience deeply shaped my mother. She would often tell us, “I am not encouraging you to get pregnant early, but if you do, I will always be here for you. You will never need to separate from your child.”

Despite enduring a loveless childhood and what could be classified as abuse, my mother ran away from her grandparents home at 14 to find her estranged father and ask him to legitimize his paternity. She traveled eight hours by bus to confront him, a remarkable act of courage for someone so young. Her father not only legitimized his fatherhood of her but also provided for her and gave her a job in his business. From her father, my mother learned the value of running a small business which she then passed on to me.

Reflecting on her vision for my life, I was reminded of how early she instill a vision of the life she believed I deserved. She wanted my sisters and I to be educated, independent, healthy, and at peace.

Education was my mother’s pathway to secure a future out of poverty for us. She wanted us to avoid the physical labor she endured, from farming to seamstressing. She enrolled me in school at just four years old, believing in my ability to succeed alongside older children. Her belief in me shaped my academic journey as top student in my academic career and set the trajectory for my life.

Independence was another key value my mother imparted, driven by her own experiences of mistreatment and abandonment. She taught me that being independent means no one can mistreat you. With her support, I embraced this lesson early, becoming financially independent from my family at 14.

Health was central to my mother’s identity. She took great pride in ensuring we stayed healthy, often insisting on nutritious meals and making us drink green juices, which I now appreciate despite my initial reluctance.

My mother valued peaceful celebrations, travel, and planned many joyful outings for us.

As I move beyond my grief, I am deeply grateful for the strength she passed on to me. The strength and courage to continue to pursuit the vision she instill in me.