Honoring Fathers: A Son's Reflection on International Father's Day

This International Father's Day, which falls on Sunday, June 16, 2024, evokes a range of feelings in me. My father, Late Md. Younus Ali, a former Assistant Teacher at Babulchara High School in Ishwardi, Bangladesh, passed away only a few months ago. His absence has created a loss that words cannot fill, but it has also brought a renewed appreciation for the invaluable role fathers play in our lives. This message is for all of the sons who are fortunate enough to still have their fathers with them—a passionate plea to value and cherish them while they are still living.

Fathers frequently work silently behind the scenes, with their contributions and sacrifices going undetected in the big fabric of family life. Many cultures, like ours in South Asia, recognize the father's duty as provider and protector. My father was likewise an excellent fit for this role. He committed his life to teaching, developing young minds during the day while also providing unshakable support and love to his family at home. He was the only educated member of his family and ran the entire household on his own. Again, as one of the few literate people in the village of Babulchara, Ishwardi, he played a crucial role in influencing the community as a whole. His affection for his students and the village people, as well as their love for him in return, is unparalleled, even after his death, as seen in a film or novel about a 'Adorsho Shikkhok' (Ideal Teacher).

My father's everyday routine reflected his passion. Early mornings were spent preparing for his classes, ensuring that he delivered information with clarity and passion. Evenings were reserved for family, yet he never complained about the tiredness that must have persisted throughout his days. His holidays were dedicated for social works and helping others throughout the village. His presence provided comfort and security, a gentle certainty that everything will be well.

A father's love is unwavering and unselfish, but it is frequently eclipsed by the more evident passion of a mother. Mothers' nurturing roles are more openly celebrated in society, whereas fathers, despite their significant contributions, are often overlooked. They give financial security, discipline, and frequently act as moral guides for their children. This stoicism, however, implies that their emotional needs and weaknesses are generally ignored. Fathers, too, have vast reservoirs of affection and face their own challenges, but their tears and worries are sometimes concealed beneath a fa?ade of fortitude.

Many middle-class families in South Asia, notably in Bangladesh, have a distant relationship between fathers and sons. Cultural expectations and established gender norms can inhibit honest emotional expression. Fathers are expected to be the stoic breadwinners, but they rarely participate in the same amount of emotional or physical bonding as mothers. This emotional distance can lead to a sense of alienation, with both fathers and sons feeling lonely in their own problems and successes. As a result, many sons grow up never really knowing their fathers. They may not have a single photograph of themselves together, nor do they recall lighthearted discussions. Reflecting on my own experience, I realize how few opportunities I had for genuine, honest engagement with my father. The few talks in which we actually bonded have become wonderful memories, which I wish were more often and profound.

To all the sons reading this, if you are fortunate enough to still have your father in your life, use Father's Day as an opportunity to close the gap. Spend meaningful time together, whether it's over a dinner, on a walk, or watching a movie. These simple actions have the potential to produce long-lasting memories. Break the quiet by telling your father about your thoughts, dreams, and anxieties. Encourage him to do the same. Express thankfulness. Recognize and honor your father for his sacrifices and contributions. A heartfelt "thank you" can mean more than you would realize. Make new memories by taking photos, organizing excursions, or participating in activities you both enjoy. These memories will be cherished in the future. Understand and empathize with your father. Recognize that he faces his own issues and emotions. Please offer your support and understanding. Celebrate his accomplishments, large or small, to demonstrate that his efforts are appreciated.

Imagine the excitement in your father's eyes when he sees you attempting to connect with him. Consider the warmth that would permeate across your family if more fathers and sons broke down traditional and expectation barriers in order to fully understand one another. The death of my father has left an indelible impact on my heart. In his absence, I have come to value his steadfast support, knowledge, and calm strength. For those of you who are still blessed with your father's presence, don't wait until it is too late to express your gratitude. Make an effort this Father's Day and every day to connect with, understand, and cherish the guy who has given you so much.

Having a father is like having a shadow over your head. Only those who have lost a father can understand its worth. A father's love is frequently unspoken, but it is deep and lasting. Let us honor it with the same zeal and passion as we would a mother's love. Make it a point this International Father's Day to recognize and appreciate the essential role your father plays in your life. Spend time with him, share your life with him, and express how much he means to you. You will not only enrich your own life, but also provide him with the delight and recognition he so rightly deserves.

The author, Md. Shawkat Alam Faisal, is an Apprentice Lawyer at the Bangladesh Bar Council.