In honor of my 45th birthday, I wish to share the wisdom gleaned from my 44 years.

In honor of my 45th birthday, I wish to share the wisdom gleaned from my 44 years.

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20th July 1977 to 20th July 2022:

It’s July 20 again, but it is 2022, which means one thing: I have started my 45 years journey today! And, I’ve gotta admit, I’ve lived around the world, traveled to as many countries as years I’ve been alive, earned eight degrees, wrote a few books, founded some socio-economical organization for both my profession and habit, owned two Prince TAZIM and LATIF, and between all that, I made a lot of success and mistakes. But, when you roll all those life experiences together, some lessons are learned in them.

Thus, in honor of my 45th birthday, I wish to share the wisdom gleaned from my first 44 years.

1. Forgive, forgive and forgive:

Forgiveness is something that sets you free from carrying around whatever it is they handed you. When we forgive, we’re not letting them off the hook– we’re refusing to carry that baggage any longer. So try to forgive, even if someone cheats you badly, or hurts you, which takes you near death.

2. Prefer heart to heart relationship to blood relationship: Heart is the Power Station:

I preferred a heart relationship to the relationship of blood in my first 43 years of life. But unfortunately, I have seen that a relationship can create new blood, but I’ve been injured and cheated by my nearest relatives for money or property-related issues.

3. Less is More:

Living with less so that you’re freer to be generous breeds a surprising level of contentment. I spent my 20’s being selfish and materialistic. I spent my 30’s trying to live more simply and give away as much as possible. I like how I felt in my 44's infinitely better than anything else. I want to be financially stable, but I want to keep giving away as much as possible. I was always happy with small. My motto forever –LESS is MORE!

4. Who lives with you/nearby you are your own people, care for them:

Maximum time of my life, I lived alone to study and profession. So, I learned that the hostel roommates and neighbors were my own people. I made a virtual family with them. In my needs, for healing my homesickness, they used to be like my medicines. So, care for the people with you today…treating them like your family members. If you do a stroke now….can you imagine who will be with you after God!!

5. Love and Humanity are the first:

Nothing is stronger than love. When you feel love, respect it, accept it. If someone disrespects your true love and caring, they will suffer, not you. HUMANITY is the first, you may find the richest, most educated, learned friends or partners in your life, but if they don’t preserve Humanity, I cannot find any mistake if ignore them.

6. An apology with an excuse isn’t really an apology:

When we say, “I’m sorry,” the excuse we add at the end negates the apology. Instead, learn to say I’m sorry and move on simply. Making excuses for why you did it delays healing and growth.

7. It usually feels better to respond with kindness:

I look back and wish I could go and go over all those situations where I failed to respond to people with love and kindness. I’m sorry for when my impatience or frustration caused hurt feelings or wounded relationships, and I realize that it sure feels better to respond with kindness.

8. True Smiling has no alternative:

We, in this era, become too miser to smile even! In my life, I learned that smiling has no alternative. True Smile from the heart will help you to overcome a big wall of impossibilities. You will win. When you welcome someone, do it with a smile, no way but refuse something…try to do it with a true smile from the heart. It will not hurt the guy who is refusing!

9. A little bit of healthy regret can be good for you:

I have difficulty identifying with the people who say they have no regrets. Me? I screwed up many things, and I apologetically regret it. A little bit of healthy regret can remind you where bad choices lead and help prevent you from returning there again.

10. You’ll have many acquaintances but very few friends:

And that’s okay. Make sure you figure out which ones are friends instead of acquaintances because there will come a day when you’ll need to know exactly who’s who.

11. If you lived too much yesterday, you’ll miss out on today:

I’m a nostalgic and yesteryear person, but I have realized that I wasn’t fully present in many situations because my mind was too stuck in the past. So don’t miss out on today– I promise you’ll look back and wish you had been more present.

12. If you think, “When this happens, I will finally be happy,” you’ll find the goal post always moves on you:

If I wasn’t living in the past, I was often too focused on the future. It was as if my happiness depended on achieving, arriving, or completing. But when I finally got what I was looking for, I discovered I had a way of inventing some new thing I had to get to. So it would be a much better way of living just to find a way to be happy and content right now.

13. Just let you be you and let them be them:

Seriously- there’s the only one you. Don’t cheat the world by trying to be someone else. We don’t need two of them. I wasted way too many years fighting the desire to be someone else, but I like being much better in the end.

14. Don’t ignore your fears– listen to them, and learn from them:

I learned a lot about myself when I began asking, “why are you?” in response to feeling afraid of things. Asking why invites you to know yourself on a deeper level, and when that happens, you can often overcome many of the fears that invited you to dig deeper in the first place.

15. Sometimes swearing really loudly will make you feel better:

Really– try it. See? I bet you feel better already. I tried many times and was released from something in my life.

16. Some people are super toxic, and no matter what you do, you won’t be able to change them:

When you meet these people, you will need to permit yourself to set healthy boundaries in your relationship with them. If you don’t, the toxic mess will eventually infect you too. It’s okay to say that you can’t be in a relationship with them.

17. What you experience tomorrow is directly linked to the choices you made today:

So if you want better things to happen tomorrow, learn to make better choices today. Of course, this isn’t always the case, but making good choices today can improve your chances for tomorrow.

18. Time doesn’t ‘actually’ heal anything:

They say it does, but it doesn’t. It might make it sting less, but healing takes conscious work that you can either neglect or participate in. The Sooner, the better, trust me. Get a counselor. Surround yourself with trustworthy friends. Read some books. The sooner you do your work, the sooner you’ll be free.

19. You can’t hurry, love (and if you try, you’re probably not going to like the result):

Just let it happen. If it does, great. But if you force it too quickly, many of us have read that book and already know how the last chapter ends. So whatever you do, don’t make any major decisions until you’re on the other side of the blinded stage that leaves you thinking less than clearly. And don’t dismiss your friends when they tell you they see red flags everywhere.

20. If it’s not going to matter six weeks from now, try to not be too angry about it:

For real. Anger takes energy, so save it for the things that will matter years from now instead of weeks from now. I will be working on letting a few more things roll off my shoulder, knowing that either way, it won’t matter in a few weeks.

21. No one is going to lay on their deathbed and wish they had worked longer hours:

But plenty gets there and wishes they had spent more time being present with the people they love. Plus, I’m spending less time with my face buried in my phone in my next life.

22. Turning your favorite hobby into a job can ruin your love for it because now it’s a freaking’ job:

Instead, save your deepest love from being an outlet for you– outside of work.

23. Revenge feels good at first, but only until you realize it really, really means to do that:

And the second feeling totally ruins the first– so skip the revenge and learn to let go.

24. Driving a new car feels awesome, but not as awesome as driving a used, reliable car that doesn’t have a payment, Don’t buy anything with a loan:

I doubt you’ll ever see me locked into a massive 5-year loan over a car again because buying a cheaper one with cash is a much lighter feeling. I don’t care that it doesn’t look as cool. It gets me there, and I haven’t had a car payment in about 6 years. So better don’t buy anything with a loan.

25. You’re going to fail at some things. One of those things might even be marriage. This doesn’t make you a failure; it just makes you human.

Learn from those failures, but don’t let them define you. I lost many years, letting this define me and scare me out of doing certain things in life.

26. The main thing all of my failed relationships had in common was me:

My brother said this to me years ago, and at first, I resisted internalizing it, but I have realized it’s absolutely true. It’s easy to point a finger but much more beneficial to stand in front of a mirror.

27. Traveling is the best form of education you can invest in:

I’ve traveled internationally since I was 15 years old, and I’ve learned more from traveling than all my academic years combined. It’s a cure for whatever ails you. If you want to become a traveler, you have to pick a date and make it happen. Talking about doing something has a way of becoming, “Yeah, we always said we’d do that but never did.” Set a date. Save up. Buy the tickets. That’s how people become world travelers. People who travel a lot do so because they’re purposeful and intentional about it.

28. Don’t let other people define who you are:

Instead, develop a healthy self-identity that can stand up to the shifting sands of time and the fickle opinion of others. I’m tired of letting others (or even my brand) define me. I want to be me. And I will be me in the next couple of years, and I’ll do it without excuse or apology.

29. Don’t let yourself feel ashamed or embarrassed because of what someone else did. Especially if they did it to you:

That’s not yours to carry around, either.

30. Learning to ask yourself, “What is the wise choice constantly?” is a great way to avoid some heartache in life:

I wish that I had learned to ask this question earlier in life. But I ask it now– and I spend much more time considering a decision before executing it.

31. Feelings aren’t right or wrong, so permit yourself to feel them:

Just feel them and sort through them. But whatever you do, don’t beat yourself up for feeling them– because feelings aren’t right or wrong.

32. Sometimes, you just have to keep going. Somehow, someway, strength will come:

I don’t know how, but it does. So don’t quit. If I can do this, you can too.

33. They say sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. But I call bullshit:

You heal a lot faster from a beating than you do hurtful words. I’d honestly take a good sound beating any day of the week if the alternative was a hurtful word from someone I love. And while you can’t control others, you can control yourself– so practice not saying them.

34. You don’t know how long they’ll be here, so say it now:

I left some things unsaid in my first 44 years. So I’m going to work at reversing that in my next 44. (If possible).

35. It actually ‘does’ go by fast, so figure out how to be present:

This moment, right now, is your life. It’s just a string of small moments you either embrace or let fly by you. So learn to shed the distractions and be present in this moment– because one day, this moment will be a memory.

36. Make a mixture of your belief and doing: Believe in what you're doing and do what you believe.

37. Maintain a low-cost life: In my last 44. I have tested many types of living and found a low-cost lifestyle with the design is best.

38. Read and write: These two have no alternative. Try to read as much as possible and make a habit of writing something. Remember, it may write to write, not to be read by others. When you have time, read your own writing.

39. It’s better to know each other widely before making a family: Don’t make it so quickly; take time, and know each other with a deep sense.

40. Try to help others, even when you are needy too: It’s the real meaning of your life.

41. You are responsible for your own doings.

As Muslims, we should remember that two angels are writing our good-bad wills, and we must go through judgment. On that day of judgment, we cannot make anyone bear our punishment if any or no one will be glory for our goodwill. So, we are self-responsible for anything we do.

42. You should not accept anyone who left you once. Be strong with what you have. Be honest and sincere. Good days will come.

43. Do not rely on social media, especially on Facebook. Suddenly they can say you violated community standards and disable your account. You will lose all of your memories, friends, writings, emotions, visiting photos, and so on. They did it with me. I have lost my 13 years old FB account!

44. Marry someone who needs you quickly, you gain financial capability and be a father as early as possible to enjoy your life.

I’ve learned a lot in my 44 years. Some were because I had good examples. Some were because I had bad examples. Some were born out of wise decisions, and others were born out of my colossal failures.

In my last 44 Years, I am thankful to the Almighty; for my best assets, the most important two glories in my life, where my heart blends its blood, and my two sons, TAZIM LATIF. On my birthday, I only Pray that May Almighty forgives my parents and let TAZIM and LATIF know the real sense of Humor.

Thank you all for reading.