Honor Killing: Why Families Kill Their Children Over Pride

Honor killings have happened throughout history and still occur in several countries around the world today, but they still seem to defy explanations.

Why would a family kill their child over what appears to be such trivial matters?

Some of these family murders are done in the name of honor, where families see their daughter’s or son’s decisions as bringing shame to the family or not conforming to family values and so feel justified in killing them.

Other times, families may kill a child because they’re trying to enforce patriarchal control over the child and bring him or her back into line with traditional societal norms.

What is an honor killing?

It is a murder committed by a family member or close relative of an individual because that person disgraced their family, honor killings are motivated by traditional and cultural ideas about family honor or honor status.

But, not all cultures with these values practice killing as a punishment for people who violate them. The United Nations estimates that 5,000 women are killed each year in such murders. The true figure may be much higher since many honor killings go unreported due to the social stigma attached to victims and their families.

Love marriages in India are common, and they’re still taboo. Couples who fall in love and choose to get married against their families’ wishes are often murdered. Killings—where a family kills one of its members because they believe he or she has brought dishonor upon them—are growing in India as well. Honor killings usually occur due to an inter-caste marriage or romantic relationship, but religious conversion is also grounds for honor killing. While it's hard to say exactly how many Indians have been killed for falling in love (oftentimes families will claim another reason for a killing), estimates range from about 900 to 1,500 people per year killed over honor killings.

Why Do People Commit Honor Killings?

The reasons behind these killings vary. Some are committed by lower caste parents when their daughter falls in love with someone from a higher caste. Others are committed by Muslim parents when their daughter falls in love with someone outside of Islam. Still, others happen when a woman marries without her family’s permission or runs away with her lover. But there is one theme that connects all honor killings: pride and shame.

Many people feel so much shame over not being able to control whom their children marry that they kill them instead. They feel like they would rather lose a child than lose face before other community members, especially if it means losing status within that community as well.

Societal influences behind honor killings

They say that love is blind, but in India, it can be blinding—with deadly consequences. Two of India’s social issues contribute to honoring killings and disputes over love marriages: caste and patriarchy. The majority of honor killings involve couples from different castes, who fall in love without their parents’ permission and are killed by relatives. As with most societies around the world, women in India continue to be subordinate to men—particularly when it comes to marriage decisions. If a woman marries someone against her family’s wishes, she could face not only violence but also rejection from her family for dishonoring them. In some cases, even if a couple elopes together, they may still be hunted down and killed by family members for humiliating them.

Why anyone do such thing?

According to legal experts, it’s hard to spot honor killings coming. No one speaks about them out loud and there are usually no warning signs, so it can be difficult for families or law enforcement officials to know how serious a threat might be. Even in cases where honor killings have occurred, family members often don’t see them as crimes—they may justify them as having occurred within their cultural context, said Harsdorf. They think they did what was right, she said. They think they were protecting their daughter from something that would bring shame to her family and her community. They feel like they did what was expected of them by society.

The legal status of these killings in India

Honor killings are considered a unique form of crime against women and fall under Section 306 of the Indian Penal Code (IPC). In 2013, India's Supreme Court instructed state governments to take strict action in cases of honor killings by making changes to the Criminal Procedure Code (CrPC) clauses. But, while honor killings have legal status, they are rarely considered serious crimes. In 2010 alone, there were 4622 reported cases of honor killings within one year—and while some may argue that they’re taken more than in previous years, it still begs question of whether these crimes are being punished enough to stop them from occurring. Moreover, if society isn't convinced of how serious these crimes are and continues to tolerate them, then why should we expect offenders to be held accountable? While honor killings continue to be regarded as crimes with legal status, it's time for us to rethink our definition of what makes up such a crime for us to punish those who commit such acts.

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