Honing My Intuition

Intuition, aka my gut, has recently gone through a makeover. Truth be told, there wasn’t much of a “makeover” to do. I was starting at ground zero. It was pretty much an untapped skill I had available to me the past 49 years. Considering I have exposed myself to formal and informal educational environments, 11 companies since I was 15 years old, triple that number with bosses I’ve worked for, and endless appreciation for mentors, coaches and leadership gurus. Learning is one of my most important values, next to adventure and integrity. I read at least 2-3 hours a day, research new practices in my field, network with experts and resources and continually challenge my own thinking on how things get done. All of this is well and good, and I would never be the one to knock education, training and learning, however I now recognize that I counted on a book or an expert to teach me versus honing my intuition and leading from within.

What do I mean by intuition?

You know that feeling you get when something is “so right” or “so wrong”? That feeling makes goosebumps appear on your arms, or your palms get sweaty. It’s when our body is telling us something long before our brain catches up to tell us what to do next. So all of that knowledge, skills and education I acquired is really no use to me when my body is telling me exactly what I should do.

My intuition has told me not to take certain jobs, sign on with a vendor, hire an employee, and I haven’t always trusted it. I would override my intuition and back up my decision with research, facts and metrics, like any good executive.

My intuition, as with any muscle, became lazy and lifeless. I distinctly remember in 2014 I was at a leadership team retreat. We were uncovering aspects of our belief system that were either supporting our life’s vision and goals or detracting from it. During one of the activities, the one I could barely breathe in, I chose not to listen to my intuition and instead to follow my head. In that moment I failed to see the road that led to 3 years of a downward spiral and manifested my divorce, quitting my job and taking a year long sabbatical from my career. Which by the way, were the three best decisions I made as they were all generated from my intuition versus my head.

If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.

~ Lao Tzu, Chinese Philosopher.

How am I honing my intuition now?

1. I listen to my intuition first.

I need to recognize when my intuition is speaking to me. This can show up for people in many ways like a visual image, thoughts, in words, in a prayer or meditation. For me it shows up in my bodily sensations. My neck is my trigger zone. Typically my neck will stiffen to the point I can’t twist my head. It can be like this for several days if I am really stuck on something. It’s almost like my body is preventing me from moving freely until I stop and listen to my intuition. I have gone on with neck pain for months sometimes that’s how bad I was at recognizing my intuition speaking. My intuition messages are simply a deep understanding or knowing of what to do next. Over the last year in my intuition practice, I haven’t once regretted pulling back from the clarity I receive when I listen to my intuition.

2. I meditate frequently or sit in a thought deeply.

Every morning I wake up and sit upright in my bed. I typically do a few stretches to awaken my body. I may look at a few pictures of my children and my dog from a past vacation to help shift my mindset to a positive place in my life. Or I might sweat it out in a 60-minute spin class. Then I begin to empty my thoughts. Everyone has their own practice. For me, it’s about filing my thoughts so that I can work with a blank canvas. This isn’t like thinking through your to-do list, in fact to-do lists are something I’ve stopped doing so that I am not producing lists that create an “achiever” anxiety throughout my day or week.

I merely put each thought that pops into my head into a file drawer that I can choose to go back to later in the day. For now, I’ll do my best to work on filing my thoughts until there is nothing left. Once there, or close to, I like to listen to my breathing. If I’m outside, like on a forest trail or simply sitting on my patio, I will shift my listening to the melody around me - birds, a stream, the wind, waves on the beach, etc.

3. I journal.

I try to journal every 2-3 days. This helps quench my thirst for learning. If there is something I want to learn and grant myself access to, I’ll record it in my journal so that it’s captured. Once in my journal, my mind is cleared and I am free to listen to my intuition. Lately, I have joined the podcast movement. I’ll learn a new approach to life or leadership skills. I will take notes and even work on exercises the podcast speaker is sharing into my journal.

4. I connect with nature daily.

When I connect with nature, I feel grounded and ready to listen to everything that comes my way without being anxious. Being in nature allows me to be present with the people or environment I’m with. I have taken to outdoor walking meetings. When a new network connection, client, or friend wants to meet up, I’ll suggest grabbing a smoothie or hot drink in a portable, recyclable cup and then a walk around the sea wall for an hour. I am more attentive with my fellow walker and can engage in a meaningful discussion.

5. I go on adventures and soon-to-be retreats.

Immersing myself in a new country and culture shakes up my truths based on logic and facts, to fully trusting my intuition in new environments with new people. I’m heading to Ecuador and the Galapagos Islands in a few weeks. Typically I would read up on where I’m going months in advance. This time I left the planning of the trip to my mother, and have only glimpsed at the itinerary a few times. I want to experience the culture, food and people of Ecuador without preconceived thoughts and opinions.

My next goal will be to go on a retreat once a year with facilitated mindfulness practices embedded in the trip. These retreats will be to new countries and with ideally people I have never met. I will be completely free from technology, distractions and obligations. These retreats will be a detox for my brain so that I focus on my intuition leading my decisions for a week at a time.

6. I ask myself thoughtful questions.

Take this morning’s trail hike as an example. I used the time to ask myself thoughtful questions like: How does this serve me? What is it time for now? How can I learn from this experience?

After asking myself a question, I clue into my bodily sensations to discover how my body reacts to the question I asked myself.

I am also curious about asking these questions aloud, who else is listening and what they might say to me to help me shift from my already maxed-out brain to my intuition that is waving a bulls-eye flag at me.

7. I prepare myself for sleep.

When I am calm, rested and caring for myself, my intuition even in the slightest voice can be heard. Catherine Roscoe Barr, a wellness coach, speaker and freelance writer, suggests preparing your body and mind for sleep. When the sun begins to set, this is the time to dim the lights, reduce our screen time and exposure to blue light, and get into our snugglies. It could be time to take a bath, or simply light a candle to set our body on the right clock.

Our bodies are linked to nature and unfortunately it gets confused due to the exposure of artificial light sources and electronics we have around us. I am beginning to retrain my body to prepare for sleep by washing my face earlier in the evening, not at bedtime when I’m exhausted. I’ll use essential oils that are designed for sleep and resting and apply them to my atomizer to scent my main rooms in my home. I take cues from my dog as she prepares herself for sleep around 8:00 pm every night. Why have I missed that in the past?!

Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

~ Steve Jobs, Founder of Apple, from his 2005 Stanford Commencement Speech

Intuition is a powerful tool and should not be used in isolation from analysis and diligence. It’s a skill that needs to be developed so you can discern from a “deeper knowing” versus a “ gut reaction.” Put an intuition development practice in place like from the ones I suggested above. Identify a friend or colleague that is particularly insightful and intuitive. Ask them how they have honed their intuition and see if their practices fit your needs. Reflect on what’s working for you and adjust your practice to suit you. Like any fitness plan, modify, commit, modify, commit.