The Honeymoon: or The Possibility that it Rains at the Beach

 Patricia y Roberto had everything well planned. The carried just a couple of light suitcases and drove for a couple of hours. They remembered last night reception. Everything came out as expected. Now the family was happy and they were ready to enjoy time together.

 They could imagined how the island really looked like when they arrived to the airport. They talked all the way about what they would eat, drink, and the places the would visit. It was worth the long year they invested planning the wedding.   

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“The first stage of culture adjustment is often overwhelmingly positive during which travelers become infatuated with the language, people and food in their new surroundings. At this stage, the trip or move seems like the greatest decision ever made, an exciting adventure to stay on forever” (1) The Writing Center at University of South Carolina, Chapel Hill states that “this [stage] usually lasts a few weeks and is characterized by the feelings of interest and excitement. You may even feel like a tourist” (2). 

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When leaving the airport, an unusually fresh breeze receives them. This is not common at that time of the year in Margarita Island. The car that took them to the hotel arrived in a few minutes. Everything was running smoothly. They arrived to the reception 30 minutes later and a very nice lady received them. She explained them about the restaurant at the hotel complex, about the private beach, the pools, and the parties at the hotel disco as well as those in the hut at the edge of the beach. Everything looked excellent. However, they were really tired, so they decided to to spend some time at the pool, have some drinks and chill. There were still six days left. The place was perfect. They felt they could live in that paradise forever. 

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The Norwegian Sociologist Sverre Lysgaard, introduced the U-curve model for cultural adjustment in 1955, and was subsequently developed by other scholars such as Oberg in 1960 and Chang in 1973. (El Said, 2006) This model presents the cultural adjustment stages in a clear-cut graph. The honeymoon stage is located at the highest point at the beginning of the curve, then there is a decline, or depression, before a leveling period, to go through a critical “recovery stage ending up more or less balanced”. (4)

At the honeymoon “high point”, people are too busy taking care of the new things, registrations, housing, bank accounts, observing the new culture and environment, meeting “friendly” people, making first social contacts, doing new things and enjoying the world so much that there is no other way of thinking about the experience, but as an exciting and interesting opportunity, and wishing to tell everyone how awesome everything looks. 

  U-Curve by Oberg

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A couple of days have passed - four days left to get back to the busy real world. It is the day the party is scheduled at the hotel disco. They are getting ready. Some thunders can be heard in the distance. Islands usually get some big storms but Patricia and Roberto don’t think about it as they hurry to join the celebration. Isn’t it wonderful!. They are finally together, enjoying and ready to move on with projects and ideas. 

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The honeymoon period length might not last the same for everyone, but nobody skip this stage. It may last from a few days to a few weeks. As a tourist, this stage is not something people specifically go through due to the short period of time they spend away from home. However, during extended periods of time, it becomes visible as few days or weeks pass, taking the visitors from a “tourist perspective” into a “more realistic view” of the world that surrounds them.

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It is day six of the honey moon, and the couple is sitting in the patio. The outdoors jacuzzi is covered with the protective cap. Everything was good until that day. Some wind is about to mess with Patricia’s hair. Roberto is checking the weather forecast on the phone. They just sit there, looking at the sea that gets darker as time passes while having some wine. They left shopping for the last minute and now, here they are, wondering too much for being in a honeymoon. Just one day left and the fun seems to be over.

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As it happens with any hypothesis, the U-curve model is not perfect. It approximates to a reality that is particular to a myriad of cases and contexts. However, it attempts to make us conscious of what we go through when living a “foreign” experience or when we “become foreign”. The honeymoon stage gives us a beautiful, sweet taste of the whole table of cultural plates in the tasting experience of the intercultural adjustment. The detail is that we are not experts in this type of experience. Even though we get what to pick at a restaurant or a party, it is hardly the case when in a new job, school, city or country, …at least when the honeymoon ends. Many things “are a certain way” and there is a need to know them first to make the next moves. It is a matter of adjustment and doing our best to face the upcoming storm. Being able to interpret the dark clouds in the distance and find time to reflect at different points of the experience, help us evaluate options and enjoy the time. 

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While the lightnings illuminate the horizon, Patricia and Roberto keep on talking, but not as excited as they were at the beginning of the honeymoon. Even though the weather does not let them go shopping, they know that they found more than they could buy in stores during the time spent together. They knew people from different parts of the country and from other countries. The heard several languages and were able to understand a couple of them. They had a chance to sit down to have relaxed conversations and be present. And of course… there is always the chance to buy things later online.

Roberto leaves his phone on the table, pours some more wine in the glasses, and continues talking.

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  To be conscious about coming changes and living the present is a challenge. Nevertheless, the present shakes hand with the past to make us able to overcome challenges and move on towards the future. So this article invites everyone to reflect upon what you have lived, what you live during approximately a couple of weeks or a bit more in a foreign or new context of interaction, and be conscious of the upcoming events after the beginning of a new experience. When we are conscious about what happens around us and we are able to explain it, we are capable of defining the road to take and be agents of change. It is like when we know what to eat or/and how to eat to loose wight, or what to read and do to finish your homework. 

 Learning to read the clues that explain what goes on outside and within ourselves are valuable in an international or any new situation. Knowing the "honeymoon" in these terms will help you believe in yourself and build resilience to grow individually, in a team and within a new community.  

 References: 

1. The 4 Stages of Culture Shock [Artículo en Línea]   https://medium.com/global-perspectives/the-4-stages-of-culture-shock-a79957726164  
2. Writing Center/ University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill [Artículo en línea] https://writingcenter.unc.edu/esl/resources/cultural-adjustment-stages/ 
3. El Said, M. 2006. U-curve. [On line post] Available at: https//moniviestin.yu.fi/ohjelmat/hum/viesti/en/ics/47)
4. University of Georgia. International Student Life. Student Affairs. The stages of Cross-cultural Adjustment based on the U-Curve theory by Oberg [On line document] Available at: [https://isl.uga.edu/uploads/docs/Cross_Cultural_Adjustment.pdf]
5. El Gumache Bay, Margarita Island, Venezuela [Imagen en linea] CC0 1.0 Universal Public Domain Dedication