Honest Conversations: A Crucial Paradigm for Team Success

Team development is a dynamic and intricate process that goes beyond assembling a group of individuals to work towards a common goal. It involves nurturing a collective spirit, fostering effective communication, and creating an environment where team members feel empowered and valued. One key element that significantly contributes to successful team development is cultivation of honest conversations. I don’t mean that people need to speak more, or more often, or repeat, or reiterate. By honest conversations I mean saying things that if unsaid, will result in average engagement, stagnation, resistance to change, and missed opportunities for innovation and creativity. Without honest conversations, a team might be functioning, but will be unlikely to thrive. It will settle for quiet mediocracy, where people go to work because they must and engage just enough to get by, and anyone who wants more will seek a more supportive and empowering work environment elsewhere.

In the modern business world, we don’t lack communications content. With abundance of technology and work-optimization tools for any taste, we can plan and schedule communications milestones according to any defined criteria, and it will take Chat GPT only a few seconds to craft impeccable message for any stakeholder.

What we lack is conversation. Plain and bare human-to-human words. It's about more than just speaking; it's about being truly heard, about vulnerability, empathy, and authenticity, something that creates connection.

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” – Mother Theresa

What is an honest conversation? Here are few examples:

Candid feedback. Feedback that shows that you care. You make an observation about your colleague or your boss, you see a blind spot. Or you see how they can make their contribution even better, or you spot a learning opportunity. You want to share it with them and add to their expanded perspective and personal growth. That’s what candid feedback is like. Not everyone is ready to hear you out, so the best way is to ask if the person is open to feedback. You may say, “I have made an observation, would you like me to share it with you”? According to Gallup, managers who offer frequent and continuous feedback influence their employees to be 3.2 times be motivated to do outstanding work, and 2.7 times more likely to be engaged at work.

Asking for feedback. Both – giving and receiving feedback creates a stress reaction in the brain, as a study by pwc has found, confirming the knowledge of neuroscience. The phrase “I need to talk to you later” is likely to cause a knot in both stomachs. But if you ask for it, feedback ceases to be an intrusion into your personal space and becomes a favor that a friend is willing to extend to you. It's best to ask something specific, like, "During team meetings, I aim to use our time efficiently. What did you think of today’s effectiveness of my contributions in terms of keeping the discussion focused?" It gives your friend an opportunity to evaluate a situation and not to criticize you as a person – so and there is nothing threatening about that.

Challenging ideas, strategies, and plans. Not every idea will make you pivot. And while we are not speaking of someone always finding a fly in the ointment, a healthy dose of constructive criticism can usually only make things better. If no one challenges ideas, risks do not surface early enough, and decisions might be made in favor of wrong priorities. If tin the aftermath you hear mumbles like “I knew long ago it will fail anyway”, it is too late to lock the stable door after the horse has bolted. You might need to watch as your culture could be turning toxic.

Resolving conflicts. Avoiding honest conversations can lead to accumulation of unresolved conflicts. It is normal and natural for humans to have conflicts. In the workplace conflicts can stem from unaligned expectations, differences in opinions and in communication styles, from personal beliefs and prior experiences, from sense of uncertainty, high workload, or perceived unfairness – the list is endless. If you address them heads-on, you might laugh about the misunderstandings together just minutes later; but if you don’t – you risk letting them fester and grow, turning into a ticking bomb.

Speaking up. If someone breaks the rules or treats others disrespectfully, unfairly, or just not in line with organizational values, if there is an “elephant in the room”, you want to have people who speak up and restore the sense of fairness. Culture is often defined as the worst behavior tolerated by a group, therefore standards for ethics, morals and accountability will be as high as the ability of people to address things in a fair way.

Asking for help. Offering help is easy. Asking for help is the hardest part. How do you even start the conversation when you need help and are already overwhelmed, sad or frustrated? Asking for help makes you feel vulnerable, exposed to potential judgment or criticism. But if people are able to have an honest conversation about seeking help, the team will enjoy better quality of collaboration and better sense of bondedness, as everyone brings unique skills and strengths to the table along with their humility and empathy.

At the end, honest conversations are the cornerstone of team development. They build trust, foster a culture of openness, address conflicts, contribute to individual and team growth, and enhance communication skills. Teams that prioritize honest conversations create an environment where members feel heard, respected, and valued. The best way forward is when everyone can contribute openly, regardless of their rank or status. All you need is to make a conscious decision to act with integrity and put your best foot forward every day in every situation. Being able to do your best is very motivating for all conversations partners. With more openness and integrity, honest conversations start having ripple effects on the culture.