Honest Conversations - 3 reasons why it’s important and yet a struggle

I started ‘Honest Conversations over Coffee’ after a blog post I wrote got shared and people responded positively on a serious topic like mental health.Since then we have had a few meetups across Delhi & then Lucknow. While almost everyone has enjoyed coming to these meetups a few have also debated the point of these and how can they really help . And the bigger issues is while everyone agrees it’s fun and useful to them,very few people feel it’s important to volunteer or even really promote it. And it’s come to a point where it’s become quite a challenge to keeping it running in Delhi NCR in 2019.

Before I go ahead just thought will share a brief idea about the project-

Story behind the Project:

In a world where mental health problems are increasing,people are getting lonelier and more divided between beliefs & rigid ideologies,where we are having more virtual conversations instead of real ones about important topics & where we indirectly encourage people to keep pretenses rather than be honest to themselves we felt there was a need to create ‘safe spaces’ where people could have honest conversations.

How we describe it :

A meetup where we can Honest Conversations & people enter without labels or legacy of their background, jobs , failures or successes. With just a mutual respect for the human in front of them.

Beyond what I had written on the blog I just wanted to share 3 reasons which apply to most of us — whether or not you have ever come or have even heard about them. So give it a read irrespective,perhaps you could identify with some..

1. We are steadily loosing the ability to have a conversation. We talk to respond and hardly listen. And I would understand if that behaviour was restricted to our parents ,teachers who are traditional authority figures but it’s everywhere. And if you believe you are immune to this. Think of this ..how did you respond when your friend spoke about a problem. Did you share a few factual stories on how the same has happened to others or you can identify because you yourself have faced it or instead you sat and listened . Listened,Heard their stories , let them talk. Understood without trying to judge or compare it to something similar you have seen. Because frankly no two stories are similar and we are loosing the ability to appreciate our uniqueness.

2. Somewhat contrary to the above is that it’s only when you have a heart to heart conversation with someone ,hear their demons and their desires do you realize that you aren’t that bad or weak and neither is anyone else that special. The constant voice in all our heads seems smaller when we look at the larger picture and yet it gives a feeling of connectedness when we empathize with the human in front.

3. Finally and this last one is a bit complicated and I could be wrong on this.. BUT I believe we are consumed with distractions.

We are always on the phone or TV or listening to music and even when we meditate we need a phone app :)

We are loosing the ability to be alone and happy and we are constantly distracted with something. We aren’t exactly thrilled with our lives and ironically in a day of 24 hours we aren’t finding the time to ask why and what can we do. I am no different and struggling with this realization in the last year or so.

By perhaps avoid facing being alone with ourselves..our identity ,our genuine desires and reasons ,our weaknesses and especially our mortality we are passing away these years. The distractions around us make this so much easier.

Perhaps if self reflection and acceptance is that difficult ( and it is) ,an easier method would be a series of genuine conversations with another involved human without distractions. That’s been the basis of most therapy or spiritual healing. The indirect aim here was to do that. That’s what this honesty is all about.

We have had some great moments at these meets.?People have come together to share really raw,honest parts of themselves and connected. But the survival is under question in an ecosystem where everything has to be quick,tangible ROI.

Hope we can share more moments like the ones above.