Is Home Where the Heart, or Work, Is? Or both?

When I lived in Edmonton from 1996-2004 and then again from 2009-2015 I often had many people say, "I wish I was American like you so I could live and work down there. I don't know why you are here." Many people pined about the places they had visited, the warm temperatures, the oceans and more money they thought they could make or how cheap it was south of 49.

When I returned to Edmonton in 2009, I attended employee orientation at the Alberta Motor Association (AMA). As an icebreaker, and keeping true of the product of AMA Travel, the coordinator asked us to physically get up, and move to the part of the room where you would like to be right now instead of Edmonton with the front being north pole, and the back being the south pole.

Everyone mostly chose tropical destinations or fun places to take a trip. Very few chose home. I had just driven three days from Omaha, Nebraska, with a short stop in Calgary to catch the Tim Horton's Brier, to be at my new job in Edmonton.

So I was the guy getting eye rolls, who said right here in this room, right now.

But it was true. I just uprooted my wife who had never lived outside Nebraska, let alone the United States. She was also still finishing her graduate schooling and trying to rent out our house. Some would call it crazy. I called it fun.

My former colleague Rehan Malik shared this timely post (above) before I wrote this. However, I also think you can also seek something else from those who haven't left home. Have invested in their community either by choice or because they do not have the fortunate ability, or unfortunate circumstances, to have to leave home.

Every March (2017, '18 and '19) my dad and I with my son have taken a trip back to Edmonton to experience the city, see a few people that we can with limited time, and reconnect with places and things as best we can. With the passing of my grandmother, we've also been back to New England several times recently.

These trips have helped me see life through a different lens or two. My dad and I's high school friends are mostly in and around the area we left. With my dad in the military, we moved away when I was 9 - almost Mason's age.

Above is a picture of my billet brother, Ken, with his oldest and my oldest. One shortly after they were born and one last year. Billet families offer room and board to ice hockey players who leave home to join teams in other towns. I had a few people who helped me by letting me into their homes during my time away from my parents. It's almost impossible to see them all on trips. So a day or two is very special for me. Last trip, Ken and his kids spent the day with my dad and Mason. I'm almost tearing up thinking about it.

As time marches on the places and people change. People get married. Have kids. Get divorced. Get new jobs. Move. It's weird for someone to come back and see the same physical locations with different sets of circumstances in work or life. You almost want to see some things that haven't changed to remind you of "simpler times" and relax. Remember why and what shaped you to this day.

Sometimes Edmonton does that for me. There's constants. The schools. The universities. The hospitals. The rec centers. The rinks and the hockey teams in those rinks. Winter itself. And on and on.

For me, I can't imagine not spending time in Edmonton. Alberta. Or Canada. My parents take some sort of odd pride in declaring they are from nowhere. Maybe it's combatting that with me wanting to say I am FROM EDMONTON. I AM CANADIAN. Without it, I would not have that foundation for who I am today.

"Where was your foundation built? And where's it at? Is it down the street? Or is it across the ocean? I encourage you to get there."

My grandfather left the maritimes of Canada for work in the States during a dark time in the Canadian, and in particular, New Brunswick economy. I asked one of his sisters recently if he ever talked about missing Canada. For him, she thought, it was all about the work. He died of cancer in his 50s - still young. So when I listen to the Stompin' Tom's song "Believe In Your Country," it always gives me chills. Released in the early 90s, just before my grandfather passed away.

I wonder if he'd feel a need as I do to reconnect if he was around. Because at some point, is the job itself enough to drive you? As we see in many posts, isn't it the WHY that drives you? For me the WHY right now, is baked into the goodness of Canada:

Welcoming and invested in public education, transit and health care. Placemaking. City making with a balance on the rural way of life that helped build the country. Acknowledgment of wrongs in the past. That's my hope for University of Nebraska at Omaha to drive that through Maverick Thinking, which is very much Canadian thinking. Today's good enough, is not tomorrow's best.

Some of you maybe haven't left home. And I understand why you need a break from everything you know. On the flip side, some of you have left and have no reason to return or no place to stay. If you are like me, and you've lost touch with the people or the people have left, I still encourage you to experience and feel that place one more time. The physical space is still a state of being that can make you connect in different ways than before.

Above is a map of every town I played hockey in in Alberta, growing up in Great Falls, Mont., Bawlf, Alberta, and Sherwood Park, Alberta. I haven't been back in most. But occasionally I get a chance to step foot in one. Remember the WHY I am who I am. The bruises. The blocked shots. A couple fights. The teams. The coaches. It gives me goosebumps. And one of those places that formed me. The battles won and mostly lost, makes me realize how frivolous the battles at work are. A weakness in the office is my tendency to laugh or smiling when people attack us at work or demand new products. Part of it is I've had my life threatened on the ice. Punched in the face. Broken fingers and blood spilled. Those are foundations for life that make day-to-day seem pretty tame.

Where was your foundation built? And where's it at? Is it down the street? Or is it across the ocean? I encourage you to get there. With your spouse. Your kids. Your parents or siblings. Or just someone else special. They may see you differently. And you may see yourself differently when you get back to your desk.

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