Holidays, Truly Being Present & Meeting a 21st Century Hero

I’ve just returned from an amazing holiday where my husband and I travelled to the South of France, drove down into Spain and ended our trip in London. From start to finish the trip was an amazing experience, as you always hope holidays are. When we’re on a holiday, we become different people. We throw off the shackles of the daily grind that wear us all down and re-emerge as the individuals we’re supposed to be: happy, full of wonder, lighter and more open to possibilities. We smile, we’re excited about the day and we’re more receptive to new people and experiences than we usually are. Some of the experiences and interactions we had on this trip were so remarkable, it made me think about how I can bring that feeling of being on holiday to my life every day.

As someone who works with people all day, and who truly enjoys the nuances of human interaction and relationship building, I always try to be aware of the vibe I put out into the world. The saying ‘what you put out, you get back’ is completely true. While I try to do this daily, I’m also human and fallible. Inevitably, the exhaustion of life and of being many things to many people can wear me down, and there are days when everything seems to go haywire. The morning argument I had with my teenage son; burning the milk in my morning coffee; or taking two hours to drive into the city instead of one, can make my world look a little bit greyer and my mood turn dark. That could be the day, if I don’t shake it off, I may miss a truly amazing interaction with an outstanding individual. Whether that be through business, or through a random meeting with a stranger, I don’t want my ennui to be the cause of missing out on the beauty of humanity. I want to truly be present. 

While we were away, my husband completely threw off those shackles. From the minute we arrived at the airport, he embraced that holiday feeling and relaxed into being in the moment and enjoying every second. He immersed himself into the culture and customs of each country with enthusiasm and joy. I watched with a smile as he struck up conversation after conversation with strangers, and built meaningful connections. One day we’d finished lunch at a cove in Tamariu, Costa Brava and were standing in front of a real estate sign. I was commenting on which house I wanted to buy when a man to my left, who was at the ATM, said ‘that’s my mother-in-law’s place’. We got talking and he asked if we’d like to see his home which was near his mother-in-law’s. Now, if I was at home in my daily routine, there is probably no way I would have said yes. We looked at him incredulously and said ‘Are you sure? That’s not an imposition?’ He assured us it wasn’t and so we happily agreed. We went with him to his home, where we met his beautiful wife and daughter and spent a truly amazing afternoon with them. It was quickly obvious that John and his family live each day in the present, being open to, and getting joy out of, chance meetings. They took us out on their boat to experience the splendour of the Costa Brava coastline from the Mediterranean (something I can now tick off my bucket list). At sunset, we anchored in the water off Aiguablava and toasted to the forging of new friendships. 

As a Melbournian, I’m a full-fledged coffee snob and make no apologies for it. On a previous trip to Barcelona, a friend and I found the most amazing café in the El Ravelle district called Caravelle. They serve yummy all-day breakfasts and their coffee is the best I’ve found in Barcelona (maybe there’s no coincidence that it’s owned by Aussies). It’s so popular that you have to turn up and hope that the line isn’t too long. They will pop your name on the door and you just wait. The wait is worth it. On this stay, Adrian and I went there every morning (apparently, I’m a creature of habit). On one of our last mornings in Barcelona, as we walked to Caravelle, my husband was teasing me about this habitualness of mine and saying it wouldn’t hurt for us to go somewhere else. As I hadn’t had my morning coffee and it was a ridiculous statement, I chose to ignore him. When we got there, there was a massive line with about a 30-minute wait, or we were told we could choose the communal table, where we would sit with random people. I wasn’t feeling too communal that morning, however my need for coffee overcame any recalcitrance on my part and my husband, God love him, was still as bubbly and open to new experiences as he was at the start of our holiday. We sat down and immediately noticed a bald man with a goatee. He had terrible scars, one that ran from his forehead, down through where his eye would have been if it weren’t for his titanium eye-patch, to his chin and one arm was in a metal brace. He could easily have seemed menacing, if you weren’t open to a random chance encounter. He kept getting up to go outside to have a smoke and then would come back inside. I was immersed in my phone (see second paragraph on how I’m human and fallible), looking at work emails while I had Wi-Fi, when I heard my husband start a conversation with this man. 

It so happened that the man was Suleiman Bakhit and his story is one of survival, hope, entrepreneurship and true grit. That day we got to listen to how one man, through his refusal to bow down to the violence born of religious extremism, and his belief in the inherent goodness in all people, made a difference in the lives of thousands of children. His story has been told in the NY Times, he’s spoken at the White House and he’s a TED fellow and WEF Young Global Leader. He was attacked in the US after 911, but instead of letting himself be consumed with anger, he decided to try and counter all violent extremism narratives with the power of the Heroes’ Journey mythology. He developed comic books to give Arab and Muslim kids an alternative, positive model of heroism to compete with the allure of Jihadi groups. We were captivated by Suleiman’s story, we had an engrossing intellectual discussion and came away with a new perspective on how to think about religious extremism. If Adrian hadn’t started that conversation, we would never have had that experience. 

These two encounters will not only stay with Adrian and I for the rest of our lives, but it turned our holiday into a journey. These are the interactions I want to have more of in my everyday life. There are many blogs, books, articles and courses out there to help people learn how to truly be present every day. I don’t have the answers and I certainly miss the mark on this often. However, I will endeavour to remember that chance meetings can literally change lives: that dream job; meeting the love of your life; saving someone from a bad decision. You don’t know where they can take you so don’t underestimate their power. So, the moral is, if you can find and hold onto your holiday vibe, you too could meet someone like John and his family, or be blown away by your very own Suleiman. 

You can read more about Suleiman’s story here: New York Times,  TED Blog, Vice Article as there is so much I wasn’t able to share in this short article.