This holiday season, be open to asking for help.

To say that this year’s events have added extra stress to our lives is… an understatement.

For the first time ever, I was separated from the rest of my family for the Thanksgiving holiday. This will be a theme for my family this year. With Covid cases on the rise, my wife working in a group home setting, and with our eyes on playing our part to protect others, we are taking a cautionary approach and spending the holidays on our own—myself, my wife, and my little man.

My hope is that others make the same choice, but I also understand why people feel it is a difficult choice. Having been secluded from our friends and families for so long, the stress turns into an impact on our mental health. I have personally felt this impact and at times have felt depressed.

We all handle stress in different ways. Some people exercise, others find quiet moments to be present through meditation, and some turn to substances. This is what scares me this holiday season. 

My wife works with homeless women with drug and alcohol addiction and has seen the devastating impact substance abuse can bring, including the lives it has taken. People abuse substances for many reasons including having been addicted to opioids after having used them for a medically appropriate reason. Others started to escape trauma in their lives—these are often the cases my wife sees. Women who have been beaten or raped, often at a young age, and have “escaped” to the streets and to substances.

Now as a kid, I had no knowledge of the impact of substance abuse on people’s lives. Sure, I went through a DARE (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) training in middle school, but I don’t think that any training could have prepared me for what I have learned through my wife’s career. While many of you may have personally been touched by substance abuse, either through your own abuse or the abuse by someone close to you, I hope that you are never exposed to the bigger picture of addiction the way my wife has been or to the loss that she has experienced.

It is my ask, with all of the additional stresses in tow this holiday season, that you talk about your stress. Talk about it with a therapist, a friend, a family member, a support group… whichever way fits you—just find a way to talk about it.

There is no shame in depression.

There is no shame in the need for help.

There is no shame in asking for it.

If the alternative is a breakdown or substance abuse, then I choose to share that I am sometimes having trouble and that the stress has gotten to me at times. Maybe sharing it helps others share.

I don’t ask that anyone share it publicly like this; but if you do, and people get comfortable talking about it openly, then maybe it will help others in a way that is bigger than any of us could do on our own.

Best to you and your family this holiday season.

#mentalhealth #holidayseason #addiction