Holiday reading 2: How many souls on board? <Leaders Eat Last> by Simon Sinek

[This book is recommended by colleagues in 2023]

On July 5th, 2023, Coco Lee, a well known singer in Asia in the 1990s and 2000s, who can be compared to today’s Taylor Swift for her popularity, tragically took her own life after battling depression for several years. The news of her passing has deeply shocked many, particularly those who witnessed her rise to fame, during their teenage to adolescence and early adulthood.

During the working day in the office, to avoid the crowded cafe hours, a group of colleagues (usually from the same floor) likes to gather in the kitchen area to have lunch together. It is a good time for gossip, sharing thoughts, and stories. On one lunchtime, I shared the story about Coco and raised the topic of depression.

At the same table, there were mainly two cultural backgrounds—immigrants from India and China— with the same ages as mine. The group has a mix of childhood from urban, small town, and rural areas. I cannot recall the exact details of our discussion, but one thing I am certain of is that we reached a consensus: "We never heard about 'depression' when we were young, even though at that time, we were lacking in resources and humble in economic." We found it challenging to understand why "depression" is now prevalent, affecting many from celebrities to office workers, students to housewives, especially in an era where people generally have better education and greater wealth.

As usual, nothing is fully connected, but nothing is fully isolated. Although Simon Sinek’s book <Leaders Eat Last> is not written to explain 'depression,' we can see some hints that help explain.

From the selfish chemicals (Endorphins and Dopamine) to the selfless chemicals (Serotonin and Oxytocin), from the roaring twenties to the raring eighties, humanity is driven by 'feelings,' which are gauged and tuned by the levels of chemicals released by our bodies. The big 'C' (Cortisol), the natural early warning system responsible for stress and anxiety, was designed by Mother Nature to protect us from potential harm for a greater opportunity for survival, however, now turns against us, is haunting the environment in which we work and influencing the way we interact with one another. By the 'Force' from inside, chooses the 'Path,' the boomer or doomer.

The author, on some level, shares concerns that the “Homo sapiens neocortices”,? in pursuit of advancement, have, without intending to, built a world that makes it harder for us to cooperate. “The symptoms of this cruel irony are easy to feel in the developed world,” where people spend dollars to seek elusive happiness, reduce stress, and minimize the feeling of isolation.

From the “electric shock experiment”, the author extends the discussion on “abstraction kills”. He explains in a command-and-control culture, both silos and politics will thrive, hurting the 'Circle of Safety' and increasing stress, thereby depriving humans' capability to form relationships. When the relationships, lives of people become an abstract concept, it is naturally for us to merely pursue the most tangible thing we can see, the metrics. What else all can be excuses like “we are just following orders”, “It’s above my pay grade” or “we are providing shareholder value”.

“How many souls on board?” “One hundred twenty-six souls”, replied the pilot. The author shared a story about a potential airplane crash where KH209 experienced a smoky cockpit. Although this emergency itself was catastrophic and caused initial nervousness and panic, the way the pilot and traffic controller reacted to it is quite inspiring. It demonstrates reciprocal trust on all levels and aspects, and the encouragement to do the right thing, even with the risk of breaking the rules, are merits that only strong organizations possess.

No matter the generation, whether it be the 'shockwave' or 'pig in the python,' or the 'Millennials,' they are and will be the leaders of the future. 'Millennials' and 'Z-Gen' are growing up and will drive another shift, much like what the 'boomers' did. The author does share lot explanations with subtle reasonings and guidance about how to collaborate with these generations.

Back to the beginning, we are still not sure about the real reason that triggered the tragedy. Some may link to what was discussed in the book, while others may reside in some latent layers. But one thing seems sure to me—there should have been some imbalances happened, in the way of chemistry, perhaps extra cortisol or extra dopamine released in people. This is so far the best answer we can derive now.

This is the second book recommended by colleagues, some takeaways:

'In Oxytocin We Trust.' The book encourages everyone to serve others “second by second, minute by minute.” “Leadership is not a license to do less; it is a responsibility to do more.” “It is the responsibility of anyone who belongs to the group... each of us has a responsibility to keep the Circle of Safety strong.”? The selfish and selfless chemicals “E.D.S.O” and the big-C. The boomer, the abstraction generation and distracted generation. Culture matters, integrity matters and friends matters. Modern addiction and the “Step 12” (to serve and help others).

Learn to ask like “How many souls on board?”, that is the key!? This is a book worth keeping on your book shelf and reading multiple times. The latest version also added one appendix about Millennials.