Holiday Grief: What is Helpful and What Is Hard?

Holiday Grief: What Is Helpful and What Is Hard?

Question: What do you find helpful so far this holiday season?

• Personal support from relationships: family, friends, safe people who grieve well.
• Meditation, exercise, getting outside, eating healthy, good self-care.
• Cheerful holiday music and holiday activities.
• Planning one thing I can look forward to each day.
• Serving and giving to others, especially to those in need.
• Giving thanks each day, gratitude journaling.
• Refusing to isolate and withdraw, but also getting the alone time I need.
• Keeping it simple and not expecting too much of myself or others.
• Embracing happy memories and incorporating them into some holiday choices.
• Honoring loved ones in creative rituals.
• Sharing memories with others.
• Accepting bursts of grief and other expressions of emotions and feelings.
• A willingness to say "no." Proactively choosing what, how, when, and with whom.
• Remembering that most people are grieving on some level, and I am not alone.
• Accepting invitations while leaving myself flexible options to bow out.

Question: What is hardest about the holidays so far? 

• Feeling alone, intensely lonely, and left out.
• Not being able to see, touch, hug, or talk to my deceased loved one; the void.
• Feeling sadness at a joyful time of year.
• Being social with others when my heart feels broken.
• Seeing happy people with their families everywhere.
• Being reminded of all my losses.
• Unpredictable and sudden grief bursts.
• Christmas traditions I now find painful.
• Lacking energy, motivation, and the desire to get into the holiday spirit.
• Expectations of myself and others, leading to frustration and disappointment.
• Communicating well with others during this festive season.
• Profound changes in our family dynamics.
• Winter's early darkness adds to my sadness.
• Trying to adjust to new routines and a new holiday normal.
• Lack of support or compassion from family members or others we're close to.
• Worshiping God while feeling so sad.
• Emotions triggered by Christmas decorations, music, activities, and celebrations.