Holiday Funk & the people who bring it

We are moving into that funky time of life... called the #holidays. During the season of pumpkins and mistletoe, presents, too much food and time with friends and family, what should be pleasant has many in Holiday Funk-town.

You are constantly bombarded with decisions and input from everyone around you, or "traditions", or "this is the way we always do it" type sentiments on what to wear, where to go, and who to hang with. And then you have to figure out 100's of other things like, what are you going to cook or not cook? What are you going to tell that relative that always hounds you about how you aren't fill in the blank _____

* Not fit enough... When are you going to lose that weight? Or you should eat more

* Not married enough ???

* Where are the babies, puppies or other? Where are you on your journey to be cat lady or python guy?

* Why are you still married to that baby? When are you going to dump that person?

* Why are you still in 'that' job? Why didn't you get the promotion?

* Why do you put up with so & so?

And it drones on... And Aunt Sally, Cousin Billy, or that weird person that the family always invites, who isn't family, tends to ask you those gut punch questions and makes the pie taste as if someone has stuck their foot in it before they served it to you.

And yet, if you take a step back, and not look at these moments as dreadful platitudes (i.e. remarks for those who need a new vocab word), and look at these platitudes (double word bonus) as an opportunity to gain perspective, then you are more likely to thrive in these perilous times called "the holidays". Or for that matter, in most times in your life when someone whops you upside the head with one of the negatively charged questions.

3 steps to Un-Funky the Funkiness of these types of questions:

1. Give yourself grace - no one knows everything you are going through, or traversing in your life. And if they are close enough to know you, they are probably not asking you the dumb questions that make you cringe.
2. Prep - Think about the top 2-3 things that someone might ask you about. What is the status of your life in this area? Do some prep work and have a few simple answers for all the major areas that you think people will be interested in.
3. It's okay to respect yourself and give no answer - there are some people in our lives that live to push you down so that they can feel better about themselves, or sometimes are too oblivious/naive about the questions they are asking. It's okay for you to respectfully say, "none of your business". Or it's something I am working on, ask me next time you see me. Just because someone asks you a question, does not mean you have to answer them.

You have more power than you know. And what could be funky holidays could turn into fun holidays. Make that awkward co-worker, boss, or other networking encounter, more tolerable, with the knowledge that, they are just asking questions and you have the power to determine how and what to answer back with. When you start to exercise the power of your self-worth, you start to push back on the power of what others perceive that they have over you.

Choose to share your life with those that value you. That will bring you positive feedback. That will want to help you and see you succeed. And for those that you are stuck with, such as family, allow them to see that access to you becomes limited, conversations and responses can be minimized, and that their vernacular and negativity will not be rewarded. Enjoy your holidays, and make them funky good in every encounter.