Perhaps you are looking forward to visiting relatives this holiday season. If your loved one has dementia, however, consider their condition a "third guest" with very particular needs to be addressed. Here are tips for a smoother visit:
- Leverage environmental support. Pack along your relative's favorite mug, jacket, stuffed animal, or other comforting items. Also arrange for a quiet space away from the hubbub in case things get too chaotic for your relative.
- Stick to basic routines. Maintain your usual home schedule for sleep, bathing, and medicines. This conserves your loved one's mental energy.
- Be flexible. If it's a bad day or your loved one gets overwhelmed, be willing to bow out of event(s) and have quiet time.
- Prepare for disorientation. Put a sign on the bathroom door. Going out, put your name and mobile phone number on a card in their pocket or wallet, with a note about memory loss. Perhaps attach a Bluetooth or GPS tracker to their jacket so a mobile app can locate them if they wander off.
- Be watchful for agitation. If you see signs of edginess, take action to soothe and distract them early. Validate their emotions and move together to a quieter place. Try to identify the trigger. If it's a sudden, extreme reaction (delusions, hallucinations), consider going to the ER. It could be a sign of a bladder infection or other painful condition.
- Forewarn family before the visit. Let them know what helps (routines, calm touch, quiet space, flexible plans). And not to take outbursts personally. Also, prepare them for what doesn't help—for example, scolding or reasoning are not appropriate. Your family member will be doing the best they can!
- Reflect afterwards. If you come home enheartened by the trip, great! But if you return feeling tired and despondent, maybe it's time to get more support.
Planning to travel this holiday season?
There are many ways to prepare ahead of time so your loved one is not overly challenged. As the San Francisco experts in family caregiving, we at Compassionate Community Care know strategies for easing the stress of traveling with a person with dementia. Give us a call at 415-921-5038.
