A Hole In The Wall

A Hole In The Wall

I’ve got holes in the side of my house. 

I recognized the amount of work it would be to maintain a two-story house made entirely of wood when we bought the place nearly 14 years ago. Painting the Colonial style house alone would cost a small fortune as well as a couple of weeks work; The apex of the ends of the house are nearly 30 feet. I had to rent a lift for one end of the house while creating a “sled” platform for the area above the garage, Ultimately, I put my life on the line to save a few bucks. 

That enough complaining?

It continues. Marchelle had asked me to address the Woodpecker holes in the siding on more than one occasion. On Monday, she pivoted from asking to requesting…with intensity. Seems that the bird activity in those holes outside our bedroom were waking her at night. Since she’s the one with the real job…I knew my options, outside of hiring professional help, were limited. I chose to fix the holes.

Closer inspection revealed the problem was worse than I thought. A total of 9 holes were found. My house was more swiss cheese than cheddar. Most of the holes were easily repairable with spackle and/or wood compound. It was the last hole, and a rather large one, that proved to be the greatest challenge. The last hole had a No Vacancy sign. 

A Mom bird…don’t ask me what kind…just know that it was a Mom bird. Mom birds build nest and have baby birds. A Mom bird had taken up residency. 

She wasn’t the only one. We also are providing housing for another Mom bird in the wall sconce next to our front door. Seems that one of the glass panels on the light is missing and this was considered an invitation for a small gray Mom bird to move in. She is just below the light bulb with four eggs in her nest. It’s a lovely accommodation. She is surrounded by glass…has a nice view of the front lawn…it’s very Carmel-like by bird standards. 

I don’t mind the bird at the front door. I do not care for the bird in my wall. 

But there’s a problem. Though sometimes considered gruff or insensitive on the outside…a problem that I’ve faced more than once during my 30 years of pastoring…inside I’m really a push over. So like any logical person, I’ve been weighing the pros and cons of my next move. I’ve gone so far as to write them +down and now I share them with you…here. 

Positive: Fixing the holes removes the possibility of further damage to my house. 

Negative: Fixing the holes only leads to greater bird homelessness. No notice, no options, just living on the street. 

Positive: Fixing the holes secures my property value.

Negative: Fixing the holes may be perceived as an anti-environment move and may yield financial penalty in a Biden administration. On a positive note, the holes could open up an entirely new, environmental market for our home. The Millennials would love it. 

Positive Removing the hole invitation yields greater sleep for my wife…heeding the ancient proverb, “Happy wife, Happy life”. 

Negative: Fixing the holes removes natures alarm clock. Afterall…some people pay big money for ambient sound machines to aid their sleep. 

Positive: The world has enough birds…case in point…the Canadian Geese. Haven’t most people recognized the urge to ease the car off the shoulder just a bit with the ambition of reducing the geese population? Someone told me that they are endangered. Well, they shouldn’t be standing in the road then, should they?

Negative: The birds could retaliate. When I was in fourth grade my babysitter made me watch Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds”. It’s a story of a small town where the birds have had enough. They terrorize the people…and they terrorized me. To this day I don’t look at a line of birds sitting on a powerline quite the same.

Positive: No one asked my permission for such activity. Birds are rebels. My dogs go to the back door and ring the bells that hang from the knob to indicate their desire to go outside. I let them out upon hearing the sound. We have a system, and it all works well.

Negative: Birds have scripture on their side. Matthew 6:26 “Look at the birds of the air; they do no sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”

You can see my dilemma. An unquestionable decision reveals a cold heart or an overly sensitive disposition. What shall I do? I wish I could answer. I only know this…

“His eye is on the Sparrow…and I know He watches me.”


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