Holding Space

While beautiful festive season is right here, and all of us are planning to give best gifts to our loved ones. I would like to share about most precious gift that we all can give, which will not only transform someone’s life but will change the world too. The gift is “Holding Space”.

Space means an environment that provides comfort, safety, care, compassion, kindness and unconditional love.

Holding Space means to walk along or to be with someone in their journey without any judgement, without making them feel lacking something and fixing them or trying to bring solutions to their problems in your way. Open…not just your ears but your heart with unconditional love for them and deeply listen with empathy and compassion. Accept who they are and accept their truth whatever it is.

It's important in any relationship because unsafe spaces make people to hide or not show their true self as they are afraid of being hurt or humiliated. It blocks trust, creates gaps which are impossible to fill sometimes and leads to stunted relationship and doesn’t grow beyond a point.

Being held with unconditional love, provides fast healing, tremendous growth and transformation. When we hold space for someone, we convey most powerful message of being there. It allows a person to overcome the feeling of being alone, helps them to put their guards/defences down and let them express their true emotions so that the situation gets unfolded naturally. Whereas, withholding painful emotions deteriorates health and sometimes lead towards behavioural issues or chronic diseases in the body.

We all can hold space. It’s not a skill only for caregiver, nurse, coach, mother, facilitator, guide, healer or spiritually evolved person but, it’s essential for everyone. Even if you are imperfect you can still hold space because what all is required is right intention. Universe listens to intentions which gets manifested into physical realm. You can also send positive or healing energy with full faith to Hold Space for someone.

We can give gift of Holding Space to our children, partner, friends, colleagues, family members or even to a stranger who sometimes gets connected to us during long journeys. When your child comes from school and shares feelings about how his/her day was and you listen intently, it’s holding space. When your partner vents out about the day and you give full attention & a warm hug, you are holding space. When your old parents talk to you about how life is at their end and you show that you care, you are holding space. When your siblings are at crossroads to make important decisions and you say don't be afraid I am there, you are holding space. When your beloved one is going through challenges and unable to provide clarity or commitment, but you still walk with him/her on a journey leading to an unknown destination, you are holding space. When a colleague is going through worst phase professionally and you extend your support to help him/her learn new skills that are required to do his/her job well and encourage them to rise, you are holding space.

In today’s scenario, we all should learn this. Embrace others with their strengths, weaknesses, struggles and help to recognize their talents/gifts to make their life beautiful. This way, we can help others to walk through one of their most difficult journeys.

Even the strongest leaders can be vulnerable at times and need to be held by someone. They also need a person with whom they feel safe to share their weakest side without being judged and to regain strength to continue giving their best to the world.

We can Hold Space by practicing some of the tips –

·        Be present - physically, emotionally or mentally whichever way is possible/feasible

·        Remain grounded no matter how big or small you are in front of them

·        Give unconditional love

·        Listen attentively without interrupting or judging

·        Allow them to feel their soul reflection in you and to connect with you comfortably

·        Give them space to make as many mistakes until they succeed

·        Maintain balance in giving guidance/information so that it’s not an overdose for them

·        Keep your ego away

·        Empower them. Don’t take their power away of taking decisions or making choices

·        Help them to connect with their intuition or inner wisdom

You can also Hold Space for yourself by being in self-love and mindful. Stay away from criticizing yourself or self-pity. Embrace your talents and creative side to live your life purpose.

Unconditional love brings calmness, clarity and an ability to spread compassion and kindness to others. We give what we have, so please fill your vessel with unconditional love and give the gift of "Holding Space" to your loved ones. In a way, this will benefit not just the one you are holding space for, but, to the whole world as it will spread compassion which is needed the most at present to make it a better place for generations to come.

Written by - Shailza