Holding on to Family you Have Grown to Love During a Divorce

Last June, I lost one of the greatest men I have ever known, my children's grandfather, Charles Bolton. I feel that my children and I are so fortunate that he and I did not feel like we had to quit loving each other when his son and I divorced. This is a post I wrote about him a year before his death:

I am delighted that one of the sweetest men I have ever met is staying with us for a few days. He is my children's grandfather. They adore him, and I have loved and respected him for 25 years. His son and I completed our messy divorce years ago, and since I remarried, my ex - husband avoids any interaction that he feels he can avoid. His father and I, however, consider each other as much a part of our own families as we ever did.

I sometimes have clients confide to me that they can get along without their almost-ex, but they will deeply miss their former in-laws. There is no need to. You are not divorcing your children's grandparents, or their Aunts and Uncles. You are divorcing only one person. Sometimes, my client wants to cut ties with their former in-laws, and if that is what you want, there is no requirement that you continue to interact with people who treat you badly, or whom you find objectionable. However, if you have relationships that you value among the family of your divorcing spouse, don't be afraid to reach out to them and tell them that you would like to continue that relationship. In most cases, they will be glad you have, and you might just end up with new cherished memories with people that you have already learned to love.