Hold my beer!

Recently, a popular social media meme theme has been "Hold My Beer!" in which someone behaves in a way that made previous bad actors look like pikers. In effect, it's the rallying cry of the sadly but enthusiastically misguided ... or the proactively, aggressively bad. Which can be a real problem if you're a leader....

I began to think of this because of a conversation with a friend in which he noted that there not only seemed to be a paucity of leadership in our country generally, but that there were some surprisingly long-running examples of bad leadership that were especially appalling and, apparently, still going strong. In other words, in too many instances of late, it seems that some misguided soul will, in effect, say "Hold My Beer!" to the previous record holder (for dysfunction) and set the bar of inanity/insanity unbelievably higher.

For example, during just one week in April of 2017, Pepsi released a commercial featuring Kendall Jenner mimicking the Black Lives Matter protests of the time that seemed to suggest that all that was necessary to resolve the tension was to offer a policeman a can of their signature soda. Not to be outdone, Nivea then debuted an ad series for a new product with the tagline "White is Purity" ... which was immediately shouted down and, in the worst cases, branded as racist. Not satisfied with this level of malfunction/dysfunction, United Airlines personnel then decided to remove a passenger from a flight forcibly in such an horrific way that the video went so viral that we all saw it and resulted in two security officers (but, of course, no corporate higher-ups) being fired. And, to top off this absurd level of abnormality and 'win' this 'competition,' in a (sad) runaway, then Press Secretary Sean Spicer asserted that Hitler wasn't as bad as Syria's President Assad because he hadn't used chemical weapons on his citizens/victims. No, I can't - and didn't - make this up. (See, among others: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/hold-my-beer; https://www.nbcnews.com/news/nbcblk/pepsi-ad-kendall-jenner-echoes-black-lives-matter-sparks-anger-n742811; https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/business/wp/2017/04/05/niveas-white-is-purity-ad-campaign-didnt-end-well/?utm_term=.ac59663cd2cc; https://www.forbes.com/sites/michaelgoldstein/2017/12/20/biggest-travel-story-of-2017-the-bumping-and-beating-of-doctor-david-dao/#38009662f61f; https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/11/us/politics/sean-spicer-hitler-gas-holocaust-center.html.)

Returning to the leadership context in which this article is grounded, while its title is "Hold My Beer!" its subtitle is "What Not to Do as a Leader." Sometimes we learn by emulating the success of others ... and sometimes we learn by avoiding their mistakes, especially the most egregious ones. In a sense, this is a compendium of leadership worst practices, those to be avoided at all costs.

For example, many years ago, I was asked by a major client of my firm at the time to do them a completely legitimate favor. The only negative impact on my firm was that it would cause me to exceed my inventory limits for a brief period - literally, over a weekend - with the benefit being that there was a sizable and effectively guaranteed short-term profit to be realized immediately thereafter. (Wish more clients had needed such favors....) Of course, I explained the opportunity to my Division Head and asked him to be sure that the President of the firm was aware.

So when I arrived in the office on the next Monday morning and was immediately summoned to the Executive Floor, I could figure out what the problem was. After the initial five-minute brow-beating by the President, I was offered the opportunity to explain myself, which I did. His response? "Oh, why didn't you tell me that before?" Leaving aside the reality that I hadn't previously been offered the opportunity to speak, in that moment I also figured out that it wasn't a good idea to squeal on my Division Head, either. So, constructively, I assured the President that there would be better upward communication/notification in the future and thanked him for his continued support of our unit (which was, at the time, the firm's most profitable on a per capita basis).

Crisis averted, perhaps, but also a clear incident when my 'leader' sold me out and didn't take responsibility for his own failure to communicate up the chain of command. (I probably don't need to tell you that he also didn't show the slightest bit of appreciation for my not ratting him out, do I?) Consequently, this incident and several others with this 'leader' are in my Hold My Beer Hall of Fame. (Or is it Hall of Shame?) Suffice it to say after several recurrences of this tendency to fail to accept responsibility for his mistakes and to blame others (including/especially me), I figured out that my best option was to work elsewhere....

Did I mention the boss who micromanaged so much that it became clear that all she wanted was our compliance and not our creativity (even though she rarely interacted with the clients our firm served)? Consistent execution of clearly identified systems is one thing, but a 'leader' who believes that only s/he can come up with good ideas is both a disaster and unqualified for any such role.

But she wasn't even the worst of these "Know-It-All" leaders: One of my former 'leaders' was the head of a financial conglomerate that he had built over a decade and that had done quite well but was beginning to falter. He called a meeting of the leaders of his subsidiary companies to brainstorm solutions and a fruitful discussion between and among us began to develop. Suddenly, relatively early in the meeting after just a bit of this constructive exchange, the CEO hijacked it and announced that "There's only one quarterback here and it's me! I'm going to solve this problem and I expect you all to fix it as I tell you to!" Needless to say, the room fell silent as the rather illustrious team of executives around the table tried to process the ridiculousness with which they had just been pelted, especially given that only one unit of the conglomerate was doing poorly, so poorly, in fact, that it was beginning to drag the others down. (Do I even need to tell you that it was the one that CEO was leading directly?)

What followed was the recitation of a litany of our supposed sins - all of the things that our units were alleged not to be doing correctly that were causing the problem - and his direction about how we each were to correct them in our respective units immediately. (I also don't need to mention that he failed to diagnose his own unit nor offer any mandatory actions that he should take, do I?)

Suffice it to say that after the meeting, we members of the Executive Committee managed to meet without the CEO and, not surprisingly, to a person we had a consistent assessment of the situation: that if we were forced to implement the assigned directives, they would harm our respective businesses and put entire conglomerate in a tailspin ... so we agreed to stall for time (including by playing "Minnesota Nice," a version of passive-aggressive behavior that I had been taught while working for a firm based in the Midwest).

To make a long story short, within a year the entire conglomerate was disbanded, with its profitable units sold to competitors and its money-losing, directly-CEO-led subsidiary effectively shuttered. But I never forgot the lesson of the horrific hubris that turned a team of aligned, supportive executives into an angry, disengaged group seeking to exit a deteriorating situation rather than battening down to ride out the storm or, more likely, to fight furiously to sail the ship to deeper, calmer seas....

[Coda: I also don't need to tell you that we found out that the firm had been sold/shuttered when we arrived at the office after a holiday to find that the CEO had decamped - literally cleaned out his office over the weekend and left without a word - and several representatives of the new owners of various parts of the carcass were there, right? That's right, he didn't even have the decency to tell us directly what he had done....]

But, sadly, I've had several of these unfortunate situations over the course of my career - "Yikes!" is right! - and it's actually been a costly lesson that I've learned well: sometimes, I find myself choosing a leadership response that contrasts completely with one that I've experienced in the past. In other words, the "Hold My Beer!" reality is that occupants of positions of authority can teach you how to lead (if they're reasonably qualified and the least bit talented and self-aware) as well as how not to lead (if they're not...). So, if you find yourself in a situation in which you believe the wrong or poor leadership is being exhibited, don't just try to get out of it as quickly as possible: be sure to identify what you can learn from it so that you avoid duplicating or subjecting yourself to it in the future....

Of course, as a savvy and reflective professional, you're likely thinking, "Yeah, sometimes things aren't as advertised, but weren't there some warning signs that you should've picked up on before you joined these crazy companies?" The answer is "perhaps." First, in at least three situations, I didn't know anyone at these firms (nor did my connections), so I couldn't fact-check what I was being told. Now, thankfully, we have the Internet and sites like Glassdoor and others that can give you a realistic look behind the curtain. Therefore, there's no excuse, so make sure you do your homework (while being thankful that you live in the Information Age and have access to so many resources...).

[This being said, some of my worst experiences have been so disappointing that I'd even venture to say that if you can't find out what the culture of the organization is from online, et. al., sources, don't go there. In this Age of the Internet, if you can't get any insight, that, too, may be a warning sign ... because I've always been able to find (balanced) intelligence on the more positive environments with which I've been affiliated.]

Second, I'll admit that in one instance, I made a classic mistake: a long-time professional friend asked me to join him to help him turnaround a unit at his company and, frankly, my emotional attachment to him led me to omit the due diligence that I should (and normally would) have done. In other words, even if invited by a trusted friend and/or former colleague, always do your homework!

Third, truth be told, several of the unfortunate environments that I joined were acknowledged up front to be "turnaround" situations, so I had an idea that navigating the cultural waters there would be more challenging than in most places. Upon reflection, I'll admit that I gave too much credit to my future leaders' confidence that such environments could be turned around and I especially overestimated their willingness to be actively engaged in this challenging work. So what's the lesson here? Assume nothing, or, even better, the worst, and think through suboptimal/negative scenarios carefully while perhaps even overweighting them in your ultimate decision-making. Had I done this, I'd have fewer professional bruises as well as lessons learned and stories to tell....

The overriding theme of this leadership reflection is this: be sure to learn from your failures as much as your successes and especially from the (leadership) failures of others as much as their successes. Bad bosses can teach you important lessons, too. In fact, sometimes, challenging environments can be fertile ground for acquiring knowledge and wisdom that you'll be able to deploy to much greater effect in the future (and, sadly but realistically, likely somewhere else...).

So, to summarize, here's a short (but not inclusive) list of What Not to Do as a Leader:

• Don't make a mistake, especially a big one, and fail to own up to it ... or, worse, blame it on others.
• Don't micromanage your team to the point where you kill their spirit and require them to be automatons.
• Don't be a Know-It-All leader, especially with colleagues who are accomplished in their own right.

And, as a reward for your commitment never to inflict the preceding on your colleagues, here's a short list of some Leadership Best Practices to incorporate into your repertoire:

• In the hiring process, always do your homework, give the fullest possible consideration to worst case scenarios and do not allow personal affiliations to prevent you from being as objective as possible about what you find in your research (whether you're a candidate or the hiring leader).
• Always learn from - and own up to - your mistakes and also from the mistakes of others, including/especially those of 'leaders'.
• Share your learnings freely and engage others in a dialogue so that they feel comfortable sharing theirs, too (or, alternatively stated, create a virtuous cycle of learning in your environment).

In closing, please feel free to share your examples of What Not to Do or What to Do: in this way, we can all learn and the rising tide will float each of our leadership boats higher. And, please, never, ever allow yourself to enter a "Hold My Beer!" contest ... unless you're guaranteed to end up on the Best Practice list, that is....

(Photo credits: https://tenor.com/view/fail-gif-9684526/www.jukinvideo.com; https://www.picturequotes.com/bad-leadership-is-an-oxymoron-quote-604182; https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/hold-my-beer; https://twitter.com/ronald_thomas/status/1066707345588277248; https://www.picturequotes.com/hold-my-beer-quote-467175; https://www.officevibe.com/blog/horrible-boss-infographic; https://leadershiphq.com.au/5-habits-bad-leaders/; https://www.pinterest.com/pin/258253359859507772/?lp=true; https://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/frederick_douglass_166471?src=t_rebellion; https://www.biz417.com/advice/whitepapers/why-you-cant-find-good-people/; https://me.me/i/im-serious-do-your-homework-do-your-homework-serious-ec765d61a70244279acdf0312cfa48fe; https://me.me/i/you-know-what-really-grinds-my-gears-when-someones-responseisahwell-1129569; https://www.spongecoach.com/101-remarkable-john-wooden-quotes/)