Hold on Loosely

There was a Southern rock band from Jacksonville, FL that had success in the 1980's named .38 Special. You have probably heard their songs, even if you have no idea who these guys are.

They had a few nice hits, but they are not generally regarded as a source of high art. However, one of their hit songs contains a kernel of wisdom that can help all of us in work and in life. The song is "Hold on Loosely."

You might laugh at me right now, especially if you play it. For many of you, it will harken back to dive bars and that time you met someone at a carnival. Hear me out...

The premise of this song is this: Lots of relationships spoil because one or both parties tries too damn hard to force it to work.

Now you see where I'm going...

• Are you working 80 hours a week at a job that you both despise and are mediocre at?
• Do you work for a boss that, to be generous, is challenging to your mental health?
• Do you know that your skills belong elsewhere, but you are forcing something that at a deep level, doesn't feel right, perhaps to make someone else happy?

If so, check this out. I'm not saying to space out at work. I'm not saying to skip important details, especially if you work with fire or a saw...

But I am saying that you can emotionally step back just a hair. You don't have to bring all of the feelings home to your loved ones. After all, the song also advises us "Don't let go." You can do a few things, but here are just a few:

1. Assess how much of these feelings are the result of your health and other factors. It might not be the job. Please take care of your health first.
2. Take a look at ways that you can make changes to your environment and daily routine to make things more interesting and productive. Let new successes to beget other successes, even if these are little victories that only you can see.
3. Once you have assessed if this is a "grass is greener" thing or not, take some free time to examine other avenues to making a living. Reach out to a coach. Search job descriptions and see where you fit best. Decide on some skills that you want to acquire or improve on.

Above all of these, make a resolution to not hinge your self-worth on the opinions of others, but to evaluate your performance by objective standards that you value. Obviously, there will need to be sufficient overlap with your boss' plan to stay still, but, if there isn't, that is a value piece of jet fuel to begin your search for a new situation.

As the song informs us, "If you cling too tightly, you're going to lose control." Take back self-control and play your game. I'm rooting for you.

Michael Kane is a career coach in Hyannis, MA - a personal trainer for your career. He is aware that "Caught Up In You" is a better song, but it is less relevant to the career space. For a free, no strings attached 15 minute career consultation, go to www.calendly.com/michaelkanekmm. You can also e-mail him at [email protected].