Hitting the rebound

As we move through our days, we're going to hit obstacles and roadblocks we've never experienced before and it's going to severely impact our life.

One matter of growth though is controlling our emotional reaction and seeing how quickly we can move into the next action.

Those who are the most successful will rebound and move into the next actions immediately whereas others may need time to process depending on the level of severity.

Neither is wrong, but how things come together and hit affect your ability to maintain a good life.

How we get there and move through the issues though is key to how we survive.

Personal stories and integrating the teachings

I got married September 1, 2018 in a small 20-person ceremony on the Hudson River front.

It was a particularly nice ceremony, but what's interesting for this story is the leadup to the wedding and how emotional the fallout was on and immediately following the day.

We started planning early June/July and in my mind, weddings are small things and things fully in my vision we would've done the courthouse and moved on with life.

My wife however had much different expectations, however, and so over time, our visions diverged a lot.

At first, it was manageable, but over time, we couldn't play through the pain and had to have conversations.

We each felt strongly about portions and defeated but we moved on.

August opens up and double the work appears on the wedding front meanwhile trying to keep professional life on track.

The story is most interesting on the buildup and aftermath though where I got into a car accident on the way to my wedding and the next week my Grandma passed after strong buildup from Alzheimer's amongst other things.

Just enough time to initially feel everything set in and an inability to drive myself home affecting my wife's new job.

The rebound

This one took a bit and is something more major, but once we got home and saw Grandma things were much more dialed in.

Emotions were able to flush out and we were just able to do what needed done.

For me it was a few days later and what ended up being a full week with family, but everything worked out as we played through it, supported family, returned to work, and delivered on the work due.

The teachings

In this sense, it wasn't about not letting myself feel, but just focus on getting things done than spending too much time thinking about why everything went wrong.

In this case and especially quite a few months down the road, I could only see a day at a time with everything going on and that's ok.

At the end of it though, a day at a time grew into weeks and I largely needed to keep an eye on my emotional reaction.

Imagine a red-blue in the disc profile assessment and then spice that up with grief could spell a large amount of trouble for all my relationships.

There were still moments, but therapy and journaling brought me around in addition to the focusing on the work.

Integrating into our own lives

Focusing on our own reactions, asking why we're thinking a certain way, and even verbalizing the thought, "How do you want this to resolve?" creates a shared space for quicker, collaborative problem-solving.

Reactions and thoughts are key internal processes we'll begin to question over time and internalize different simulations as we seek to resolve a situation.

When that doesn't work, though, an understanding of different personality types and creating shared space with questions like "How do we want this to resolve?" change the dynamic of the conversation and allow a successful resolution.

Rebounding automatically on the day to day

Through this article, we've gotten a sense that big and small things will happen everyday and how we respond to them is incredibly important.

Our goal is to get back up to speed as quickly as possible with the exception of very major things as illustrated in the story.

A few teachings are shown to make the story tangible and actionable to the reader with verbalizing often the most subconscious but innocent thoughts key to getting across to the other party.