History Repeats Itself in Parenting

There is a wealth of parenting information and support at our disposal – from books and magazines; websites and mobile apps; to paediatricians and other parents who share their perspectives and recommendations. There is no shortage of resources to assist you, dear parent.

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There’s one very important source of parenting information we all have access to. And usually without being aware of it:

We’ve all been parented. That means we all enter our parenting roles with a great deal of relevant experience, so all of us use the lessons we've learned from our own upbringing as a source of parenting wisdom.

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Being part of a parent-child dynamic means we can mirror our relationships with our parents into our relationships with our children. In a perfect world, this implies that we can easily understand the roles of both parent and child. It would also imply that should be able to identify reflections of ourselves/our upbringing in our parent-child relationships.

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Attachment is Crucial for the Growth and Maturation of both Parent and Child

Attachment refers to an infant's emotional investment in his/her primary carers, including feelings of trust and safety. This connection is established at birth and influences the child’s psychological and social development.

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Attachment, however, is characterised by a mutual commitment on both sides. Parent and child communicate with one another through signals, which both parties can send, receive, and interpret. A baby learns that he is in a secure and loving environment when his parents react to his cues. With this much safety in place, it's easier to venture out and learn new things.

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Babies who do not experience positive interactions and are not encouraged by their guardians quickly adopt ways to cope with such interactions. They quickly adapt to a different reality and may be associated with negative behaviour, emotional health, and social adjustment in later life.

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How We Were Raised as Children Influences How We Raise Our Children

New studies show that our own childhood attachment experiences have a significant impact on the way we parent and the bond we form with our children.

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This transfer of attachment patterns is stable in studies of young children. When we become parents, we bring with us our own set of memories, emotions, and experiences from our childhood, for better or for worse.

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Past Reflections

How do our childhoods shape our perspectives as parents? And how exactly can we incorporate them into our existing skills?

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Recent studies suggest that our parenting styles can be predicted by the quality of the attachments we had as children. A person's attachment history may colour their interpretation of infant cues. Neglectful and isolated adults have a more challenging time reading the emotional cues of their children, making it more difficult for them to determine their own children's attachment status.

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This may seem like a hopeless situation, but there is a reason for optimism thanks to scientific progress. Evidence suggests that parenting and child attachment can be strengthened through short carefully planned interventions.

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Most families do not have funds to access professional help. This is where we come in. by helping parents understand how the brain develops, they can better appreciate the formative years of their children's lives and provide them with responsive parenting and nurturing experiences that will help them form secure attachments.

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