AS and his Manager

AS did not think he had a great relationship with his supervisor.

4/10, he responded when I asked him to rate his current relationship score.

‘Off-course I would love to improve this score, but I don’t think it is possible. He is so unreasonable’ opined AS when I enquired.

3 months down the line, I asked him to rate his score with his supervisor again.

‘8/10, no, it would be 9/10’. A beaming AS responded.

What changed in these 3 months?

As per AS, his supervisor was unreasonable and there was no way he would ever be able to work well with him. When I learned about a few specific instances of ‘unreasonableness’ of his supervisor, to me it looked like his supervisor was a great guy who genuinely wanted to help AS. But somehow AS could not see that perspective. The result was that AS was completely demotivated and disengaged. He needed to smoke after every meeting with his supervisor due to the altercations they used to have on almost all the matters.

However, AS wanted to change the status quo and willing to try out any options.

For a start, he committed that he won’t argue in the next meeting. He would listen to what his manager had to say and respond in a calm manner.

That evening I received a text from AS.

‘First time after ages, I did not feel the need to smoke after meeting my manager’.

Things went uphill quickly from there.

Soon, AS was complaining to me with a chuckle that his manager was taking such great care of him that he was almost overwhelmed. AS’s manager introduced him to his own manager and their review meetings, thereby giving an opportunity to AS to become visible to a lot of senior folks in the organization. AS started getting choices of projects which would help him later to rise up in the organization.

AS also started taking a keen interest in his team. So far he used a ‘directive’ approach to his team, mostly controlling what the team had to do. He started letting go, trusting his teammates more. He started valuing their suggestions and started asking his senior reportees to take up more responsibility. In the process not only his team became far happier but AS himself found himself with time which he could devote to doing stuff that gives him far more satisfaction.

If you notice, this whole turnaround happened because of one tiny but critical decision of AS. To take responsibility to improve his relationship with his manager.

What is your relationship with your manager? If you feel there is a scope of improvement, would you like to take the responsibility to improve the score? What is the first step you can take?

I am aware that not all scenarios would be perhaps as straightforward as above. You may not succeed perhaps by just one action of yours. You may need to be at it for some time. But what I believe is that it is extremely important to have a great relationship with your boss. You spend a lot of hours in the office and life could be far happier if you don’t have to face the stress of working with your boss daily.

If you are not sure how to proceed or if you feel yours is a completely hopeless case and you would like to discuss it with someone, I would be happy to have a discussion. Do message me in private and we could set up a call.

For those who already have a great relationship with your boss at work, I would like to acknowledge you for managing this relationship so beautifully. If you like, you can share a tip or two for the others to benefit from.

Thanks and cheers.