Hinduism is 'patriarchal' but not a 'misogynist'

Hinduism is indeed "patriarchal" and there is nothing wrong with that! Let me explain ->First of all, What do you mean by patriarchy? Patriarchy is a system of society or government in which men hold the power. Patriarchy came into existence when men started to prove they are more adaptable to their habitat compared to women in a labour-intensive agrarian society. This instance has been seen vice versa with many other species where matriarchy is followed. This formation led to patriarchy in our society,

However, times have changed, After industrialisation intensive labour has been generally avoided. Both Men and Women are equally capable of delivering results and there is no “superior” gender today. However, what makes Hinduism different is that how it respects women’s role in society. Rigveda says:

sa?mrāj?ī? ?va?u?re bhava sa?mrāj?ī? ?va?ru?vā? bha?va |

nanā?ndari sa?mrāj?ī? bhava sa?mrāj?ī? adhi?de?v??u ||

Be an empress over your father-in-law, an empress over your mother-in-law, be an empress over your husband's sisters, and an empress over his brothers too. (RV.10.85.46)

Lakshmi Tantra 27.42

na smaret kāminī nindā? karma?ā manasā girā | yatrāha? tatra tattvāni tatrāha? tatra devatā? || 62 ||

A yogin (dharma practitioner) should never abuse a woman, either in deed, speech or thought. Wherever I am the realities are, wherever I am the gods too are.

Now lets talk about the so-called anti-women "Manusmriti" Importance of happy women

3.55. A father, brother, husband or brother-in-law should keep their daughter, sister, wife or sister-in-law happy and pleased through gentle words, respectful behavior, gifts etc. Those who desire prosperity should ensure that women in their family are always happy and do not face miseries.

3.57. A family where women remain unhappy due to misdeeds of their men is bound to be destroyed. And a family where women are always happy is bound to prosper forever.

3.58. A family- where women feel insulted or discriminated against and curse their menfolk- is destroyed in same manner as poison kills all those who eat it.

3.59. One desiring glory should ensure that he keeps women in the family by giving them respect and pleasing them with good ornaments, dresses, food. Women should always be revered under all circumstances.

3.62. A person who does not keep her wife happy causes misery for entire family. And if wife is happy, entire family appears as happiness incarnate.

9.26. Women give birth to next generation. They enlighten the home. They bring fortune and bliss. Hence women are synonymous to Prosperity.

This shloka forms the basis of women being called "Ghar ki Laxmi" or ‘Goddess of Fortune in Home‘ in India even till today.

9.28. Woman is the source of all kinds of happiness in all generations – be it from children, or from noble benevolent deeds or through conjugal bliss or through service of elders.

9.96. Man and Woman are incomplete without each other. Hence the most ordinary religious duty would demand participation of both.

Thus, those who deny Vedas or Vedic rituals to women are anti-Hindu and anti-Humanity.

4.180. A wise man should not indulge in fights and arguments with his family members including mother, daughter and wife.

9.4. A father who does not marry his daughter to a deserving groom deserves condemnation. A husband who does not fulfill just demands of her wife deserves condemnation. A son who does not take care of her widow mother deserves condemnation.

Polygamy is a sin

9.101. Husband and Wife should remain together till death. They should not approach any other partner, nor commit adultery. This, in summary, is the Dharma or religion of all human beings.

Autonomy of Women

9.11. Women should be provided autonomy and leadership in managing the finances, maintaining hygiene, spiritual and religious activities, nutrition and overall management of home.

9.12. A woman who is kept constrained in a home by noble men (husband, father, son) is still insecure. Thus it is futile to restrict women. Security of women would come only through her own capabilities and mindset.

Protection of Women

9.6. Even a weak husband should attempt to protect his wife.

9.5 Women should keep themselves away from vices. Because when women lose character, the entire society is destroyed.

5.149. A woman should always ensure that she is protected. It is duty of father, husband and son to protect her.

Protection is not restriction. See the section on Autonomy of Women. Verse 9.12 tells that you should not constrain women in a home.

Marriage of Women

9.89. It is better to keep the daughter unmarried than force her to marry an undeserving person.

9.90-91. A woman can choose her own husband after attaining maturity. If her parents are unable to choose a deserving groom, she can herself choose her husband.

Thus the concept of parents deciding the groom for their daughter is against Manu. A mature daughter has full rights to choose her husband. Parents should act as facilitators for the marriage and not final decision makers.

Property Rights of Women

9.130. A daughter is equivalent to a son. In her presence, how can any one snatch away her right over the property.

9.131. A daughter alone has the right over personal property of her mother.

9.212-213. If a person has no kins or wife, then his wealth be distributed equally among his brothers and sisters. If the elder brother refuses to give due share to other brothers and sisters, he is punishable by law.

To further ensure safety of women, Manu recommended harsh punishments for those who rob away wealth of a woman, even if they are her relatives.

8.28-29. If a woman is alone because she has no children, or no men to provide for her security in her family, or is widow, or whose husband has gone abroad, or who is unwell, then it is duty of the government to ensure her safety and security. If her wealth is robbed by her relatives or friends, then the government should provide strict punishment to the culprits and have her wealth returned back.

Prohibition of Dowry

3.52. Those relatives who rob away or thrive on wealth, property, vehicles or dresses of a woman or her family are wiliest of people.

Thus any kind of dowry is a strict NO NO as per Manu Smriti. No one should dare attempt to take away the property of a woman. The next shloka takes this concept further and states that even slightest exchange of tangible items amounts to sale/purchase and hence against principles of noble marriage. In fact Manu Smriti suggests that a marriage along with dowry is marriage of ‘Devils’ or Asuri Vivah.

Strict Punishment for harming Women

8.323. Those who abduct women should be given death sentence.

9.232. Those who kill women, children or scholarly virtuous people should be given strictest punishment.

8.352. Those who rape or molest women or incite them into adultery should be given harshest punishment that creates fear among others to even think of such a crime.

8. 275. One should be punished if he puts false allegations or demeans mother, wife or daughter.

8.389. Those who abandon their mother, father, wife or children without any reasonable reason should face severe punishments.

Ladies First

The concept of Ladies First seems to originate from Manu Smriti.

2.138. A man in a vehicle should give way to the following – aged person, diseased person, one carrying burden, groom, king, student and a woman.

3.114. One should feed the following even before feeding the guests – newly married women, girls, and pregnant women.

Therefore to summarise, Hinduism may be Patriarchal but it's definitely not misogynistic.