Hindsight is a wonderful thing ...

I had no idea what was happening. My heart was beating out of my chest, my mind was racing, anxiety was overwhelming and then the tears came .... I dropped everything and ran to the safety of my car and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.

Ridiculously all of that was because I couldn't find the chicken chews for my dog in the pet food aisle at Morrisons and at first I thought I was just having a bad day, but then other similar events happened. Crying for no apparent reason, forgetful, unable to think clearly, heart racing, mind in overdrive - in fact it became so overwhelming I went back to the very darkest of days that I had experienced some years before.

A good friend recently admitted she was so, so scared. She thought she was "going to lose me" as I was in such a distressed state. She actually came up to stay one weekend under the pretence of "needing a break away" and actually, she was there to keep me safe.

Menopause.

Nobody tells you that it creeps up on you.

Nobody tells you that it will pick holes in an already vulnerable mind.

Nobody explains the impact that the decline in oestrogen will have on your mental health and well-being - not even my GP joined up the dots.

They increased the anti-depressants I was already on (from a time in my past when life had been such a challenge) but that didn't even touch the sides. They referred me BACK to therapy, where I tried to explain it was "different this time" but nobody really heard me. Eventually, in absolute desperation, thinking I was "losing my mind" I paid to see a private GP, using my credit card and crossing my fingers and lo and behold - the perimenopause diagnosis was made.

My experience of the planets colliding (crappy back story leaving me running on fumes, stressful life trying to rebuild what was lost, only child/single parent looking after my Old Folks and their conditions as well as support my son AND perimenopause rolled into town!)

I'm now a woman on a mission to get people talking about this and other issues. I want folks to be able to join the dots quicker, easier and more efficiently. I don't want any woman to be in the place that I was with a clear and definite suicide plan.

Menopause is NOT just hot flushes and night sweats and as a busy midlife woman, we can often explain away the stress, brain fog and inability to sleep as "being a bit busy with stuff at the moment" - but that can be risky! And so, I am on a mission to help people (male and female) recognise and be more aware. To educate, to inform, to encourage folks to get comfortable with the uncomfortable (yes, I will use the word vagina at least once!) BUT it is all with VERY positive intent. Drop me a note if you would like to know more?

A g