Hindes Sight 2020: Bravely looking at my families history of racism.

In our family I became the keeper of something we call Pa's Book. We knew his story well as it was repeated at all the family events. Pa kept a black book and I have it! The first in his family to emigrate in 1898. Left home for a better life in the US at 18 years old with very little money, no job, but a name. In his book he noted the name and address for fellow Irishman T.J. Bradley at the B&O Railroad in Chicago he was to see him about a job and use Patrick Murtagh of Railyard Castlecomer , County Kilkenny as a reference. So we arrived with a job as a union freight handler for out patriarch. Not a bad start!

But what about the patriarchs of black families? While the Irish had a tough lot, the truth is that we blended in and it was hard to tell the Irish from higher class white groups but color could be used to keep the blacks out of the good jobs and neighborhoods. That is exactly what happened. (and is still happening) Once we got in whether it was the police, fire, railroad, university or whatever we (the Irish) took care of our own. Which brings me to...

Who is our own?

I've got a deep vein of God in me that recently made me reevaluate how I see my faith. Is my faith with a structured religion? If so what are those beliefs and how do they align with the teachings of Christ and the Ten Commandments? The more I was willing to challenge my beliefs the more I could see the sickness inside. Friends, neighbors and family of mine, you know good "church going people" full of judgment but lacking in love. One sent this text message to me at Thanksgiving. "I hope your Thanksgiving was blessed with the presence of God, when you have a bit of time I'd like to talk to you about the Black Lives Matter signs in your yard". You see his signs are NRA & the Confederate flag.

I've always been the "hey that's not fair" kinda guy. I think it's intrinsically in each of us, it's that feeling we get when we see a wrong. I liken it to a schoolyard full of children, remembering how the bullies tried to control, some aligned with the bullies for security, some just stood up and said "No this is wrong". (and sometimes got the hard knocks) We learned early in life to "fall in line" or comply. Do you know that when the heinous acts of the holocausts were emerging and workers building the concentration camps figured out what horror they were part of, they became all too soothed at the programming aimed at making them feel that Jews were somehow sub-human. Don't think for a minute that those fooled were the type of humans that we're any more na?ve and gullible than you and me.

I'm not a racist, or am I?

As the youngest of eight we were raised to know we weren't racist. How did we know? We were simply told we weren't. We were indifferent for the most part. As example Mom and Dad never used the N word. But as a youngster I had to ask who the Schwartzers were? Evidently in my mind they were a family at odds with mine because whenever I heard their name it was not in a very kind light. So I asked my Dad and he told me it was a nicer name than the N word for blacks. So maybe we we're only moderately racist. I sense my parents knew the wrong but stood by or what I now see as compliant, which is easy to be when the system is working for you. As example they never educated me on the work of Dr. King and the realities of what really happened to the black population. It was indeed systemic, it worked and I profited. You see my parents kept us in the white neighborhoods and actually bought a vacation home in a community that didn't allow blacks. My older brother recalled a story he heard (was taught) as a young child he heard the adults in the community talking, one neighbor who we both knew well said to the group "That's alright if any blacks move in I've got more than enough matches". What struck me as inherently wrong is when my brother recently shared that story he saw it was wrong but placed no blame on the other adult practicing Catholics that did not say: "No that is wrong Brother !" Not a single adult spoke up including our father, and so we were taught. But at least we weren't racist's which I can see now we were.

So now what, what's next... A conversation with a neighbor.

Peace,

Tim