The Highly Positive Project Manager

The highly positive project manager

I will share some habits on how to be a highly positive project manager — or, if you are already positive, to become even more positive. If you are in a funk right now, following these habits will get you back on track.

Figure 2.2 The highly positive Project Manager

1. Do not let bad things pull you down:

Highly positive project managers take bad things and see the good stuff in them. Bad things can happen to anyone. The difference between a positive project manager and a negative one is not the events that happen to them but how they respond. While opposing project managers let bad things pull them down, positive project managers do not. They take bad things and make the best out of them.

As my father said: “We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” A great example is Oprah Winfrey, one of the most influential women in the?world. She was, for a time, the world’s only black billionaire. Oprah may be prosperous today, but she faced extreme hardship as a child. When she was born up till the age of six, Oprah lived in rural poverty with her grandmother. She was so poor that she?often wore dresses made of potato sacks, for which the local children made fun of her. When she was nine, Oprah was sexually abused–by the people closest to her,?her cousin, uncle, and a family friend.?At 13, after years of abuse, Oprah ran away from home. She was pregnant at 14, but her son died shortly after birth. She attended an affluent suburban high school, Lincoln High School, but had her poverty constantly rubbed in her face as she would ride to school with fellow African-Americans. They were servants of her classmates’ families. Despite this extreme hardship, Oprah did not let it get her down. She overcame adversity to become a benefactor to others, first becoming a radio anchor at 19, then having her daytime talk show,?The Oprah Winfrey Show,?at 22. Through the show, she has helped millions of people worldwide, empowering them to take charge of their lives and drawing from her life lessons and her interviewees’ life lessons to inspire others.

If Oprah had caved in the face of hardship, she would never be where she is in life. She is such a positive light because she chose to make the best out of the difficulties she dealt with and subsequently use these lessons to help others. Likewise, for you, don’t ever let yourself get pulled down by your challenges in the projects you manage. Instead, ask yourself what you can learn from them and how to turn them around to create the life you seek. Such a proactive approach is the start to living empowered, happy projects and happy life.

2. Appreciate every good thing that comes your way:

Highly positive project managers are grateful for every good thing that comes their way. I conducted a 14-day gratitude challenge on my project team some time ago. I asked my participants to identify at least three daily things to be grateful for.

While it was awkward to initially find things to be grateful for, many participants quickly eased into the task after a couple of days. From friendships to daily coffee, to burnt toast, to family vacations, to life itself, many gained a newfound appreciation for these things they tended to take for granted. The participants emerged from the challenge more appreciative and joyous of life, even though their lives have technically not changed much compared to before the challenge.

Many of us tend to focus on the negative things in life, which naturally makes us feel negative. Instead, why not pay attention to the many great positive things in our lives? For example, instead of being upset at the traffic jam, you are in right now, why not be grateful for the vehicle you get to drive?

Instead of lamenting about your project, the lack of support from your customer, your manager, etc. Be focused on the opportunities you have to learn and to demonstrate the rest of your stakeholders that you can move forward and solve any difficulty with a positive attitude. You will be surprised to see how many great things you already have going on with this little mindset shift.

3. Lead a well-rounded life:

Highly positive project managers lead a well-rounded life. This means they don’t let work take over their lives or their relationships override their agenda. I used to devote all my attention to work to the point where I deprioritized my social life and leisure. While it was great fun working since my work (Helping others to grow as project professionals) is my passion, I became much uninspired after a while because I was neglecting my other life areas. I realized the importance of a well-rounded life to my emotional well-being. So today, I ensure that I devote time to the core areas of my life: career, love, family, friends, self (through recreation), and contribution.?Please go to Appendix A and do the exercise.

4. Deal with your problems right away; do not let them linger:

Highly positive project managers deal with their project problems and issues right away rather than ignore them. One thing I consistently teach to my customers is not to forget their problems. Because ignoring your problems doesn’t mean that they will go away. Often times they will linger around and weigh you down subconsciously, even though you don’t realize that.

For example, I used to be an emotional sweets eater who would eat in response to emotions like stress and sadness. For a long time, I never dealt with this problem, choosing instead to drown myself in food whenever I felt terrible. Later I realized that I was utterly miserable because my stress eating (a) was causing me to gain extra weight, and (b) had turned me into a slave of food. I achieved a complete solution by swimming for one hour every day.

A simple tip for dealing with your problems is to (a) keep a record of all outstanding issues you’d like to deal with, then (b) work on them one at a time. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming to tackle multiple problems, but doing it one at a time will help you to manage things easily.

5. Let go:

Highly positive project managers let go of the things that do not support them in living a conscious and positive life. This includes toxic and harmful relationships. I once had to?let go of a deep friendship of 10 years?because we were severely holding each other back. While I was always working on bettering myself, he tended to procrastinate on his development and would sometimes live vicariously through my progress.

His reactiveness in living the life of his dreams would negatively impact me as we had always agreed to work on our life goals together and take action together as best buds. I also felt that I was responsible for his inactions if he was truly living vicariously through my own goal progress.

While we tried to work things out initially, it never happened. All our attempts to resolve this issue drained us as we kept going around in circles. After years as friends, we were no longer compatible with each other’s good friends. After ten years, we finally parted ways and immediately felt relieved of dead weight. Looking back, I wish we had moved on earlier because the later years of our friendship drained us more than they helped us to grow.

Think about the negative things in your life right now — from toxic people to energy vampires, to negative beliefs, to unhappy thoughts, to something that trigger unhappy memories — and start letting go of them, one by one. The sooner you let them go, the happier you will be.

6. Take responsibility for your life:

Highly positive project managers take responsibility for their lives because they realize that happiness is a?choice. For all the problems, heartaches, toxic people, and baggage you are facing take responsibility for them. While you may not have created those problems, and they may result from others’ misacting, you can still take responsibility for experiencing them. Doing so puts you in the position to put a stop to them.

For example, I once experienced heartbreak with someone I liked. While initially, I faulted him for bringing me such pain and anguish, it was only in the later years that I took responsibility for my emotions and the situation that I could finally move on. I later realized that I could control my happiness by taking responsibility for my negative emotions (and, subsequently, my life). Because it’s when I do that, that I can then take action to address my unhappiness and the situations causing it, rather than blaming others.?Subsequently, I could easily move on from two other relationships that didn’t work out.

7. Spread love and kindness (by helping others):

Finally, yet significantly, highly positive project managers spread love and kindness to others without expecting to get anything back in return. One of the most rewarding things one can do in life is to help others.

While some of us may think that we need to achieve X status or Y age before we can help others, that is not true at all. The simplest things can help others: one short phone call to a distant friend, one pat on the back to congratulate a project team member for a job well done, or a shoulder to lean on for a friend in need.

You have more power than you think, so use that to help others. You will find that when you give, you will naturally receive in return.

Alfonso Bucero

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