The High-Value Man Myth: Why Confusion is Detrimental to Black Women and Their Families

Cam Newton is all over the news right now thanks to his recent interview with Dr. Cheyenne Bryant. Dr. Bryant picked some fairly substantive holes in his lifestyle and choices, and the internet is on fire debating who’s right, who’s wrong, whether he’s to blame, or his baby mamas are at fault for creating broken homes. But that was only part of the drama.?

The real conversation centered on what is the difference between low and high functioning and low and high value — for men and women. Many consider Newton to be a high value man thanks to his prowess on the football field and his financial success post retirement. His eight children by three different women don’t seem to have cut his value proposition in any significant way. Though it’s doubtful a woman in a similar position would have received the same societal response.?

But whatever you think of him — as an interviewer/host I’m not a fan. I watched the entire 2.5 hour conversation, I resent it bitterly, and found him to be dismissive, simple-minded, immature and either incapable of or unwilling to control the conversation when it veered off course or when he lost the thread. No matter which side of the debate you land on, this high profile athlete turned media personality is casting a bright and questioning light on the idea of a high-value man, what it means, and what is this archetype’s impact on a Black woman.?

In recent years, the term “high-value man” has surged in popularity, particularly within Black communities. You can’t swing a microphone without hitting a half a dozen podcasts where this is the primary topic of discussion. And both men and women debate the term furiously on myriad fronts.

Often promoted by influencers like Kevin Samuels and perpetuated by online spaces, this concept is frequently tied to a man’s financial status, his social influence, and his ability to attract desirable women. However, this once flattering notion of desirable manhood has evolved into something both harmful and detrimental, especially for Black women. The confusion around what constitutes a high-value man is not just a superficial issue — it has deep and lasting implications for Black women individually and for the families they hope to create.

Understanding the “High-Value Man”

Again, at its core, the term “high-value man” is often associated with financial success, physical appearance, and social status. But what does it really mean? Is it simply a label for men who have “made it” in life, or does it signify something deeper? The reality is, the exact nature of the term is as ephemeral and elusive as it is alluring, and this ambiguity can lead to harmful misconceptions.

In essence, a high-value man likely should possess qualities such as confidence, integrity, empathy, and a strong sense of purpose. These traits, when genuinely present, can make a man a great partner and father. Note, none of those traits can be explicitly tied to that man’s bank account. However, problems arise when this label is used to mask superficial qualities — turning the focus away from emotional depth and character toward external markers like wealth and status.

The Superficial Pursuit: How the High-Value Man Myth Harms Black Women

Because the concept of a “high-value man” is often based on superficial metrics such as wealth, appearance, and social standing, this idea has led many men to focus on materialistic achievements. This wouldn’t necessarily be a wholly bad thing — if these men were not simultaneously neglecting the importance of building and nurturing their emotional intelligence, empathy, and their ability to create genuine connection in relationships. For Black women, who often face unique and relentless social, economic, and cultural pressures, the confusion around what constitutes a high-value man can be particularly damaging. Here’s why...

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