The High Cost of Staying
Lon Stroschein
Your Life On Offense | Former Public Company Executive & Founder of The Normal 40 Movement | Best-Selling Author of “The Trade” | Elite Performance Coach | Podcast Host | Boardroom Speaker | Pilot | Farm Kid | Risk Taker
Quitting. Who wants to be called a quitter? I was told that they never win. And we want to win.
When I left my position in February 2022, my friends thought I was crazy. Some of my colleagues thought I was, too. They told me to "stick it out" and see what I thought, then decide.
They reasoned that I had worked a long time to get to where I was and that leaving now might be something I would regret; if I had more time and more information, it would be EASIER for me to decide to leave.?
They were trying to tell me that it was too early to leave. If I waited a year or two, I could make a more informed decision and have more confidence in my path.?
It seems so logical: "Stay and see." I didn't have to go, so why not just stick around and see ... and make a few bucks along the way.
This advice came to me from a place of goodness, from people who care about me. It was advice built on reason, backed with positive intent, and given with great care.
The only problem with their advice?
It was wrong.
The decision to go was not easy. I wrestled with it for a few years. I had achieved much, nobody was pushing me out, and there was good work to be done. On paper, there was no good reason to leave, so why "risk it."
You might be feeling the same thing. You have paid a high price to get where you are, and it will feel like leaving?is irresponsible. It may also appear short-sighted and maybe even selfish. After all, who would walk away from all you have created?
Well,?wait ...?
I was taught that quitting is the easy way out. I was taught that the trophies went to those who persevered and that leaving before the job was "complete" was unfair to others. I was taught never to get distracted from the work at hand and to finish what I had started.
There is a time and place when all that advice will serve you. So too, there is a time and a place in life when that advice will wreck you.
Quitting is hard, really hard. It's why you are still there, and still reading this here. We put so much?pre-judgment into quitting.
We stack all of the emotion, time, education, internships, failures, lost friendships, relationships, and missed anniversaries into all of the reasons why we should "Stick around and see." We make the sunk cost of quitting so great that we can't fathom leaving it behind. And we think tomorrow we will be more informed about what will be the obvious "right decision."
That was me, and maybe it's you, too.
But then I realized something -- and it changed how I viewed quitting. I realized that quitting had been easy in my life when I thought of it as a?TRADE?for something better.
I had never talked in terms of 'quitting' my time as a U.S. Senate employee; I talked about the fantastic opportunity I received to go to a bank.?
And I never told people, "I quit the bank." I would tell them, "I was recruited from the bank into an incredible position at a public company."?
While all of that is true, it's also true that I quit. I left 100% of something to do something else. In my lifetime, I've quit the farm, the Senate, the bank, and now I've quit Raven.
Looking back, it became easier when I could frame "quitting" as a "Trade," even if only in justification. The key was having the clarity of knowing what it was I was trading it for ... uh oh. There's the rub.?
You don't know what you're going to trade it for. Now "waiting to see" is the only option, so you reason.
I didn't know any of this as I went through it. Zero. Only after being gone for a year could I see the pattern and give this process some labels.
领英推荐
Maybe you've been thinking about a trade. Maybe you feel like you have a lot to lose. Maybe you're growing more discontented with where you are, and you know you have something more significant to build.?
And maybe you're also hung up on the image of a quitter. Perhaps you're willing to trade, but you don't know what it is you would be trading it for. Well, keep reading ...
The Endowment Effect:
The Endowment Effect: A cognitive bias where people ascribe a higher value to the things they own merely because they already possess them. It leads to a reluctance to part with possessions, assets, or activities even when the objective value is?moving?lower, due to an emotional attachment to ownership.
Read that again; it's a thing.
This is why you still have that old sport coat you spent too much on ten years ago, why you still have that kayak you haven't used in a decade,?a bike you hope to one day ride, and why you think your used car is worth more than the dealership is willing to give you for it. In your mind, it's worth more because you own it.
Seth Godin uses this brilliant example: When you buy an airline ticket to visit your friend, you buy access to a seat to deliver you from point A to point B.?
You also buy a departure time and an arrival time. Let's assume that delivery cost you $700, but that you were hoping to get a ticket for $550, like you spent last time.
Now, while on the aircraft, the?airline attendant announced that they were giving a $300 voucher to anyone willing to take a flight in three hours from now.?
You are reluctant to give up that seat...you're on the plane, and the seat is yours.?BUT, had this been an option when you booked ... to arrive three hours later and to only spend $400 on the ticket, you would have lunged at it and felt fortunate. But now the Endowment Effect has you convinced your seat is worth more than what you once thought it was, simply because you own it.?
This is the Endowment Effect. And we are all victims of it, every day. It's also one of the forces keeping you where you are at.
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
There may be a trade headed your way, but the Endowment Effect is doing its part to convince you to wait and see. Here are three questions you can wrestle?with to see how much control it is having over your ability to act.
1. What's Holding Me Back, Really??What factors are anchoring you to your current job, other than money? Are you staying because it's familiar,?even if it doesn't?align with your life goals??
2. What's the Cost of Clinging??Consider the opportunity cost of holding onto possessions or a current job. What experiences, growth, or better alternatives might you be missing out on due to your attachment? What experiences (or unused skills) are you waiting on that this job may never provide??
3.?If Your Job Was Lost Tomorrow, Would You Fight For It, Or Go For Something New??If The Trade was forced upon you, would you risk it all to get back to where you are, or would you finally try something new??
These questions encourage self-reflection and can help you break free from the limitations of the endowment effect.
Write these down and stare at them. When your answers start to stare back, you're on to something.
Join my private, closed, and off-social media community called The Insider. It's the best $25 you will spend, and the only place you'll find a dedicated group of people -- just like you, all working on a trade of their own.?If you want to join The Insider or sign up for my free newsletter, find it all here:
Servant Leader | Optimist | ICF Member
1 年Beautiful post! Powerful as always Lon Stroschein Which also reminds me of this great quote We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one. -Confucius
Dad | Writer | Marketer | Account Manager
1 年Another Great article. Thank you for sharing. Great stuff to ponder - but more importantly, to DO something about. Thank you. I appreciate you.
Credit and Collections Leader | Director | VP Operations | Consumer Loan Servicing | Banking & Mortgage | Champion of Operational Excellence
1 年Amazing stuff Lon
USCG Licensed Captain. Yacht Delivery Captain. Co-owner of Oceanaire Yacht Delivery
1 年Wow. Powerful stuff.
The busy attorney's financial advisor | Putting your money where it matters most, so you can reduce your taxes today and tomorrow. Stop tipping Uncle Sam!
1 年It's not quitting. It's starting. And that is what I'm doing with a little bit of inspiration from you. Well, maybe more than a little!