The Dangers of Putting on an Extraverted Persona for Introverted Women Leaders

Given that many workplaces favour extraversion, some introverted women leaders think that they have to put on an extroverted persona if they are to be taken seriously as leaders and get ahead. Whilst this may (or may not) get them the results that they want, it can take its toll.

When we put on a persona and try to be someone that we are not, we put pressure on ourselves, which can be stressful. For someone who is introverted and acts extraverted for the majority of the time, not only do they put themselves under pressure, but it is also exhausting.

I have had many coaching clients who are on the verge of burnout when they come to me for coaching, who have been putting on an extraverted persona. Or they recognise that they can’t carry on as they are because if they do, it will lead to burnout.

Whilst there may be short-term gains for someone who is introverted acting extraverted, continuing to do so can have a negative effect. One study suggests that in the short term, engaging in extraverted behaviour is associated with high vitality.

The benefits for introverts acting extraverted include appearing more sociable, and because you are more sociable and talking more, people may see this as confidence. You may be perceived more as leadership material. Because of misconceptions about introversion, and if you don’t have the same effect when you are your natural self, you may be inclined to continue acting the extravert.

However, continuing to engage in this extraverted behaviour if you are introverted, depletes vitality levels. This particular study mentioned found that when engaging in extraverted behaviour, vitality levels were depleted about one hour later.

Continuing to act in this way can drain your energy and be exhausting. It can chip away at your self-confidence and self-belief, bring on imposter syndrome, and make you prone to perfectionism. Not to mention the stress from all of this. Continue like this and the stress becomes chronic.

Our bodies were not designed for chronic stress. Not only can the stress of continually putting on the extraverted persona affect you mentally and emotionally, in the long-term, but chronic stress can also weaken our immune system. This makes us more susceptible to illness and disease.

Rather than putting on a persona, try this instead

Accept yourself as you are and instead of pretending to be something that you are not, be yourself. Introversion does not mean you can’t be sociable, be visible, or engage in activities that are more suited to extraverted traits.

As a leader, you will be required to do many of these things, so learn how to modify your behaviour without having to act like someone you are not (if you don’t want to). Utilise your strengths. You will be more motivated, more engaging, and have better overall well-being if you do. Identify any areas of development and address those.

Manage your energy levels so that in situations where you are required to be more sociable and energetic, you approach them feeling at your optimal. If you feel drained and depleted of energy when you are in such environments, it will be harder for you to engage and be sociable.

Whilst putting on an extraverted persona may give you some benefits in the short-term, be mindful of the consequences if you continue to do it long-term.

Have you ever put on an extraverted persona for prolonged periods? If so, what effects has it had on you?

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If you have subscribed to this newsletter in the past year, you may not have seen my TEDx talk, Introverts Make Great Leaders Too. The talk is about the stigmatisation of introverted individuals and how some misconceptions about introversion impact their career progression and personal development. It challenges perceptions about introversion so that those who view introversion unfavourably see that introverts make great leaders too.

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Being a parent is seen by many as rewarding, joyful and also difficult at times, and in our modern society, the task of juggling parenting with a career can be challenging. ?In this week's episode of the podcast I am joined by Chioma Fanawopo and we touch on quite a few topics including 'mum guilt', the importance of self-care, and whether mothers can 'have it all'. Click on the link above to listen to our conversation.

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About Me

I am an Executive, Career and Leadership Coach specialising in introverted women who are senior leaders. Through my work I have helped 1000s of women across the globe to increase their confidence, influence and impact as leaders, and overcome imposter syndrome, increase their executive presence, improve speaking performance in meetings, get a promotion, and much more.

If you are an introverted woman and a senior leader and want to increase your confidence, influence and impact, take my free assessment and get a report identifying areas to develop. You can take the assessment?here .?

My book Quietly Visible: Leading with Influence and Impact as an Introverted Woman addresses many of the challenges that introverted women face as leaders and shows you how to overcome them. It was listed as one of the 10 best self-development books written by women to read during lockdown by BeYourOwn. Get your copy from my website, and you also get access to module one of my online course UNLEASH Your Leadership Potential for Introverted Women where you will learn how to understand yourself better and how to stop letting imposter syndrome, a lack of confidence, and other self-limiting beliefs hold you back. Get your copy?and access to the module?here ?